called Fauchon (pronounced “Woon”), which contains two-thirds of the world’s calorie supply. In the great art museums, I eventually reached a saturation point and found myself walking right past brilliantmasterpiece paintings by van Gogh, Renoir, Matisse, LeRoy Neiman, etc., without even glancing at them; whereas after a lengthy period of browsing in Fauchon, I was still enthusiastically remarking, with genuine artistic appreciation: “Whoa! Check out THESE éclairs!”
In conclusion, I would say that Paris is the most beautiful city in the world, and its inhabitants have an amazing sense of
“savoir-faire,”
which means, literally, “knowing how to extinguish a fire.” I say this because one Sunday afternoon I was in a crowded café when smoke started billowing from a cabinet into which waiters had been stuffing trash. It was a semi-scary situation; I stood up and gestured toward the smoke in an alarmed American manner, but the French diners paid no attention. In a moment, a waiter appeared carrying some food; he noted the smoke, served the food, went away, then returned to douse the fire with, I swear, a bottle of mineral water. And you just know it was the correct
kind
of mineral water for that kind of fire. So the meal ended up being very pleasant. It was also—I state this for the benefit of the Internal Revenue Service—quite expensive.
A Blatant Case of Slanted Journalism
T he time has come for us, as a nation, to resolve this wrenching issue, so that we can move on. This issue has been with us for far too long, weighing on our minds, sitting heavy on our hearts, bloating the intestines of our national consciousness with the twin gases of partisanship and hate.
I am referring, as you have no doubt gathered, to the bitter controversy concerning the location of the Leaning Tower of Pisa. This controversy got started last summer when I wrote a column in which I stated that the Leaning Tower of Pisa is located in Paris, France. I received several dozen letters from readers, many of them quite angry, stating that the Leaning Tower of Pisa is in fact located in an Italian city called “Pisa.”
Now, I happen to be known in journalism circles as a big stickler for accuracy. I have a stickle the size of a fire hydrant. So when I got these critical letters, I felt that I had no choice but to swallow my pride and send these readers individual notes informing them that they were mistaken, because the Leaning Tower of Pisa had been moved to Paris in 1994. At that point, I assumed that the matter was settled. But then I got
another
letter from one of my original critics, Mrs. Herbert H. Harder of Benton, Kansas. Mrs. Harder’s letter, which I am not making up, stated:
“I still don’t believe the real original Leaning Tower of Pisa was orever will be moved to Paris. First of all, I think Pisa, Italy, would never, never allow such a thing to happen … To move the Pisa, Italy, real Tower of Pisa would require a cost that would be prohibitive.”
To clinch her argument, Mrs. Harder cited the ultimate authority:
“I stopped at a Travel Agency and asked if they had heard anything about the Leaning Tower of Pisa having been moved. Of course, they hadn’t.”
When you have been in journalism as long as I have (6,000 years), you get used to members of the public making all kinds of wacky claims, such as that the CIA has placed radio receivers in their teeth, or aliens have invaded Earth, or the Leaning Tower of Pisa is located in Italy. So I was frankly inclined to simply ignore Mrs. Harder’s letter. But then I got to thinking about a recent public survey about journalism credibility, conducted by the American Society of Newspaper Editors (motto: “Proudly Maintaining the [Motto Continued on Page A-34)”]. The ASNE did the survey to find out why the public does not trust us in the news media. The survey showed that you, the public, think that we:
1. Is guilty of many grammar and spelling errores.
2. Rely
In conclusion, I would say that Paris is the most beautiful city in the world, and its inhabitants have an amazing sense of
“savoir-faire,”
which means, literally, “knowing how to extinguish a fire.” I say this because one Sunday afternoon I was in a crowded café when smoke started billowing from a cabinet into which waiters had been stuffing trash. It was a semi-scary situation; I stood up and gestured toward the smoke in an alarmed American manner, but the French diners paid no attention. In a moment, a waiter appeared carrying some food; he noted the smoke, served the food, went away, then returned to douse the fire with, I swear, a bottle of mineral water. And you just know it was the correct
kind
of mineral water for that kind of fire. So the meal ended up being very pleasant. It was also—I state this for the benefit of the Internal Revenue Service—quite expensive.
A Blatant Case of Slanted Journalism
T he time has come for us, as a nation, to resolve this wrenching issue, so that we can move on. This issue has been with us for far too long, weighing on our minds, sitting heavy on our hearts, bloating the intestines of our national consciousness with the twin gases of partisanship and hate.
I am referring, as you have no doubt gathered, to the bitter controversy concerning the location of the Leaning Tower of Pisa. This controversy got started last summer when I wrote a column in which I stated that the Leaning Tower of Pisa is located in Paris, France. I received several dozen letters from readers, many of them quite angry, stating that the Leaning Tower of Pisa is in fact located in an Italian city called “Pisa.”
Now, I happen to be known in journalism circles as a big stickler for accuracy. I have a stickle the size of a fire hydrant. So when I got these critical letters, I felt that I had no choice but to swallow my pride and send these readers individual notes informing them that they were mistaken, because the Leaning Tower of Pisa had been moved to Paris in 1994. At that point, I assumed that the matter was settled. But then I got
another
letter from one of my original critics, Mrs. Herbert H. Harder of Benton, Kansas. Mrs. Harder’s letter, which I am not making up, stated:
“I still don’t believe the real original Leaning Tower of Pisa was orever will be moved to Paris. First of all, I think Pisa, Italy, would never, never allow such a thing to happen … To move the Pisa, Italy, real Tower of Pisa would require a cost that would be prohibitive.”
To clinch her argument, Mrs. Harder cited the ultimate authority:
“I stopped at a Travel Agency and asked if they had heard anything about the Leaning Tower of Pisa having been moved. Of course, they hadn’t.”
When you have been in journalism as long as I have (6,000 years), you get used to members of the public making all kinds of wacky claims, such as that the CIA has placed radio receivers in their teeth, or aliens have invaded Earth, or the Leaning Tower of Pisa is located in Italy. So I was frankly inclined to simply ignore Mrs. Harder’s letter. But then I got to thinking about a recent public survey about journalism credibility, conducted by the American Society of Newspaper Editors (motto: “Proudly Maintaining the [Motto Continued on Page A-34)”]. The ASNE did the survey to find out why the public does not trust us in the news media. The survey showed that you, the public, think that we:
1. Is guilty of many grammar and spelling errores.
2. Rely
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