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impulse, she closed her office door and showed him the seat across from her desk. “Sit down a minute, would you?”
Angus sat down, mystified. “You gonna emasculate me, too?”
“No, but I have to tell you something. The whole truth and nothing but.” Nat went back to her desk, sat down, and told him the story of finding Saunders, alive despite his wounds. As Angus listened, his bright eyes grew somber, and Nat managed not to cry. “The thing I didn’t tell you is that, before he died, Saunders said something to me. His last words. It was a message for his wife. I didn’t want to tell the cops. It’s not their business.”
“I understand.” Angus rubbed his beard. “It’s not mine, either.”
Exactly . “But I have to tell his wife. That’s where I was going just now. Out to the Saunders house.”
“In the subs? That’s the errand?” Angus smiled. “You’re a terrible liar, Natalie. You acted so guilty, I was worried you were having an affair, and I’m not even your boyfriend.”
Nat laughed. It felt good to joke around with him. A shaft of sunlight moved onto his hair, bringing out golden highlights she hadn’t noticed before. Either he had washed it last night or he was a total hunk and probably not a drug addict. She had a new respect for him, after yesterday and this morning.
“I also think that you’re extraordinary, for trying to save him.”
“I could have done more.”
“No. That’s not fair.” Angus shook his head. “You can’t ask so much of yourself. You’ll lose sight of what you did accomplish.”
“Like what?”
“Like simply being there when he died.”
It’s what his mother-in law had said on the phone.
“You know, sometimes it’s enough just to be. Just be. Don’t fix. Don’t perform. Don’t control. Just be .” Angus paused “I know, it sounds so Zen.”
“Faculty Steven Seagal.”
“Forgive me, I was a religion major. I almost went to divinity school.”
“Really?”
“I know, right? Anyway, so you’re going out to the house now? I think that’s the right thing to do. You have to do it, and in person. It’s the man’s last words before he left the planet.”
“I agree.”
“You want me to go with you? I know the area better than you do. I’ll give you some privacy when you talk to his widow.”
“Are you free?”
“I have to make some calls, but I can do it on the way. You shouldn’t have to go alone, and I’m the one who got you into this. It’s the least I can do.”
Nat smiled, touched. “Falafel’s on me.”
CHAPTER 12
T he country sky was ice blue and so cold that even the sun was keeping its distance. The Saunders house was the only one on this winding road, and it was surrounded by an expanse of frosted white snow, broken only by dark, barren trees, their branches heavy with snow. Nat parked her red Volvo down the street from the house, finding a space only at the end of a long row of salt-sprayed parked cars. She twisted off the ignition and eyed Angus, sitting in the passenger seat.
“It looks like she has a houseful,” Nat said, stating the obvious. “I wonder if it makes sense to do this now.”
“The mother asked you to come today.” Angus flashed her an encouraging smile. “You’ll do fine.”
“Thanks, Coach.” Nat reached behind the seat for her purse, and they got out of the car. There were no sidewalks, so they walked in the street, which had been recently plowed. Snow sat piled along the side of the road in powdery triangles, clean as spooned sugar. Nat held her camelhair coat closed at her neck, missing her serviceable wool toggle, which she’d left at the prison. Angus shoved his hands in his jeans, with only his sweater and his beard to keep him warm.
They made their way up the street, their breath frosty, their shoes crunching road salt and ice. Nat’s stomach tensed as they approached the house, a modest white rancher with forest green trim and a tan garage door. The driveway, on the
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