the last wishes of somebody dying should be fulfilled?"
"Of course, always. Everyone's dying wish should be granted, no matter what. It's the last wish they'll ever get to make."
"Bari, Uncle Meestake talked to me, too." My face flushed, then tears came to my eyes. "And so did Big Mama. Although when we talked, I didn't know she was going to die, but I know what she told your Uncle." A small smile formed at the corners of my lips at the recollection of Big Mama and Uncle Meestake's matchmaking attempts. "So, how is that ever gon' happen if you can't even look at me?" A nervous laugh escaped my throat. "That's funny?"
"You can't use that like that," I said.
"Like what? In case you haven't figured it out yet, I agree with both of them. I think I could take care of you better than anybody else could," he said, looking into my eyes. "I mean that. I know it's only been a short time, and you don't really trust me yet, but you will."
"I do trust you, Seven. I'm just not....I don't..."
"You don't what?"
"I'm not the kind of person that's made for somebody like you to love," I said, and tears sprang to my eyes.
"Somebody like me? What's somebody like me?"
"Not just you. Anybody," I said, conjuring up Mama's words in my head. I would be nothing but a big let-down to Seven. Him and anyone else that wasted their time trying to care about me. "Look, Seven," I said, getting to my feet. "I've never had a boyfriend before, and when I do, I don't want it to be because he's doing a favor for my family. I want somebody that's going to care about me the way I care about them. I'm not going to live my life to try to please my uncle or my grandmother. I'm going to do what I want to do, and what I think is best for me. I appreciate what you're trying to do. You're trying to ease my uncle's mind, but this isn't the way to do it. My feelings have to matter at some point. And it'll never be said that Bari really cares for Seven, and he's only with her because he's trying to keep somebody else from worrying about her. Do you understand that?"
He nodded.
"Now, do you understand this? I don't do shit to please nobody else. I do what I want to do, and for no other reason than because I want to do it. I liked your grandmother a lot, and your uncle, too, but ain't no way in hell I'd inconvenience myself to make somebody else happy, especially somebody in another state. I ain't gon' lie to you, Bari. I got on that plane and went with you because I felt bad for you. I ain't never done no shit like that in my life, for nobody. But everything after that, up to this day, I've done because I wanted to do it. I could have helped you find an apartment somewhere. I could have helped you find a hotel to stay in. I could have just charged you rent every month to stay here, but I wanted you here with me. I like you. You're cool to me. I care about you, probably more than I want to at this point. I'm attracted to you in a way that I haven't been with anybody in a long time. It's not just physical. I'm attracted to your mind, and I can't even think of the last time I was attracted to more than a big ass and big tits." My eyes gave away my thoughts. "I'm keepin' it real with you. I think I'd be good for you. It doesn't have anything to do with anybody else but me and you,'' he said quietly. He took my hand and pulled me back down on the couch. I sat next to him and stared at the carpet. "Let me ask you a question, Bari.'' I looked at him. "Answer me honestly, okay?"
"Okay."
"Promise.”
"I promise I'll answer you honestly.''
"Can you honestly tell me that you've never thought of me as anything other than a friend?"
I thought about lying. He'd never know. I let my eyes rest on the window with no view and thought about all the times I had found myself thinking about Seven, missing Seven, wishing someone like Seven could love someone like me. I looked down at him. His eyes were searching mine for a sign that I was about to lie.
"No,'' I said quietly. "I can't
"Of course, always. Everyone's dying wish should be granted, no matter what. It's the last wish they'll ever get to make."
"Bari, Uncle Meestake talked to me, too." My face flushed, then tears came to my eyes. "And so did Big Mama. Although when we talked, I didn't know she was going to die, but I know what she told your Uncle." A small smile formed at the corners of my lips at the recollection of Big Mama and Uncle Meestake's matchmaking attempts. "So, how is that ever gon' happen if you can't even look at me?" A nervous laugh escaped my throat. "That's funny?"
"You can't use that like that," I said.
"Like what? In case you haven't figured it out yet, I agree with both of them. I think I could take care of you better than anybody else could," he said, looking into my eyes. "I mean that. I know it's only been a short time, and you don't really trust me yet, but you will."
"I do trust you, Seven. I'm just not....I don't..."
"You don't what?"
"I'm not the kind of person that's made for somebody like you to love," I said, and tears sprang to my eyes.
"Somebody like me? What's somebody like me?"
"Not just you. Anybody," I said, conjuring up Mama's words in my head. I would be nothing but a big let-down to Seven. Him and anyone else that wasted their time trying to care about me. "Look, Seven," I said, getting to my feet. "I've never had a boyfriend before, and when I do, I don't want it to be because he's doing a favor for my family. I want somebody that's going to care about me the way I care about them. I'm not going to live my life to try to please my uncle or my grandmother. I'm going to do what I want to do, and what I think is best for me. I appreciate what you're trying to do. You're trying to ease my uncle's mind, but this isn't the way to do it. My feelings have to matter at some point. And it'll never be said that Bari really cares for Seven, and he's only with her because he's trying to keep somebody else from worrying about her. Do you understand that?"
He nodded.
"Now, do you understand this? I don't do shit to please nobody else. I do what I want to do, and for no other reason than because I want to do it. I liked your grandmother a lot, and your uncle, too, but ain't no way in hell I'd inconvenience myself to make somebody else happy, especially somebody in another state. I ain't gon' lie to you, Bari. I got on that plane and went with you because I felt bad for you. I ain't never done no shit like that in my life, for nobody. But everything after that, up to this day, I've done because I wanted to do it. I could have helped you find an apartment somewhere. I could have helped you find a hotel to stay in. I could have just charged you rent every month to stay here, but I wanted you here with me. I like you. You're cool to me. I care about you, probably more than I want to at this point. I'm attracted to you in a way that I haven't been with anybody in a long time. It's not just physical. I'm attracted to your mind, and I can't even think of the last time I was attracted to more than a big ass and big tits." My eyes gave away my thoughts. "I'm keepin' it real with you. I think I'd be good for you. It doesn't have anything to do with anybody else but me and you,'' he said quietly. He took my hand and pulled me back down on the couch. I sat next to him and stared at the carpet. "Let me ask you a question, Bari.'' I looked at him. "Answer me honestly, okay?"
"Okay."
"Promise.”
"I promise I'll answer you honestly.''
"Can you honestly tell me that you've never thought of me as anything other than a friend?"
I thought about lying. He'd never know. I let my eyes rest on the window with no view and thought about all the times I had found myself thinking about Seven, missing Seven, wishing someone like Seven could love someone like me. I looked down at him. His eyes were searching mine for a sign that I was about to lie.
"No,'' I said quietly. "I can't
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