Copper Heart by Leena Lehtolainen

And her father too, I imagine. She is an extremely good violinist,” my mother added.
    “Sounds bad,” I said with a grin. “Isn’t it the smart girls who usually get anorexia?”
    “When Aniliina got sick, I talked with Meritta about it, since her daughter was in my class,” said my father. “There have been a concerning number of these cases in our school in the last few years. And yes, the ones afflicted with it are usually good students. Meritta seemed to think her daughter’s sickness was caused by pressure to conform to outdated beauty ideals from when women filled more traditional roles.”
    “That’s one theory. We have anorexic students in our school too,” Eeva interjected. “Is Aniliina’s father interested in his daughter’s welfare at all?”
    “He’s coming, but I hear that Kaisa Miettinen is with Aniliina right now. I imagine Kaisa and Meritta were good friends, which is odd, since they seemed so different on the outside,” I said.
    “They were both serious about what they did though,” said my father. “Hopefully this won’t get in the way of Kaisa’s training for the European Championships.”
    “Doesn’t Kaisa have pretty strong nerves?” I asked. “Last summer at the World Championships she was in second. Then in the final round, that German threw a couple of centimeters past her. So for her final throw, Kaisa threw ten centimeters even farther out and took home the silver. I’ve always thought she was so calm, except during interviews.”
    Kaisa’s calm, reticent nature seemed to intrigue reporters. She never talked about her private life, and answered questions about whether she had a boyfriend with a cool smile. Apparently at the Presidential Ball on Independence Day she had basically run away from all the cadets eager to dance with her. But sometimes in competition you could catch a glimpse of a different Kaisa, of a woman who sent her javelin flying through the air with the focused expression of a hunter. That was the woman who let loose the widest grin you’ve ever seen after winning that silver medal. I also remembered the intensity in Kaisa’s voice when she had demanded to know whether Johnny and Meritta were in a relationship. Why had Johnny lied?
    Was Kaisa in love with her cousin? The thought just popped into my head all of a sudden, and just as fast it seemed like the most obvious thing in the world. Was that why Kaisa was training out here in the middle of nowhere instead of near a beach somewhere warm? To be near Johnny?
    “Kaisa studied sports psychology. Maybe that helps with Aniliina,” my mother suggested before ordering us all to bed.Saku would be waking us up early, she reminded us. Sneaking into the spare bedroom, Eeva and I found Saku snoring quietly with a teddy bear under his arm and his blanket balled up under his belly. My parents’ low voices and the rattling of dishes from the main room sounded strangely familiar—memories coming back to life.
    I still didn’t know how to start getting to know my parents as an adult. I didn’t even know whether I really wanted to know them other than as the people who had controlled my life for those first nineteen years. What good would it do anyone to unload my childhood traumas onto them since no one could change the past? I guess I had thought that if I knew my parents better, I could learn to understand Maria Kallio’s wants and needs better too. But I wasn’t sure whether I dared anymore to take the plunge into myself.

6

    In the morning, I awoke to something small and smelling of milk crawling on me and yelling “Antee-tee-tee!” and “Upuh-upuh!” Then it grabbed my hair and started pulling. Opening my eyes, I saw Saku’s grinning, slobbery face hovering above my head.
    I swam for fifteen minutes and ate about three times more breakfast than usual before departing for town. I had decided to stop by Ella’s house before going to work. I had to be the one to ask Ella directly about the brooch.