relaxing into me.
"So, as you can tell the whole ‘just friends’ thing didn't work out very well." She quietly giggles as I continue, "I'm sorry about everything earlier today. I haven't been on a date in years, and I'm sure I behaved like an ass."
"I understand," she says quietly, staring down at her beer.
"Hey, look at me." I gently coax her eyes back to mine. "Why do you always do that?"
"Do what?" she asks, looking up.
"One minute, you're laughing and giving me shit about my lack of bowling skills. The next, you're staring at your feet and acting like a neglected puppy."
"I don't know. This is just weird..." she trails off without finishing the thought.
"Come on. Talk to me."
"I don't know what to say."
"Tell me what's going on inside that gorgeous head of yours."
"I have no idea what's going on here. A few days ago, I asked you to the game and you obviously didn't want to go. I can only guess Caleb forced you to show up today. Then you tell me your married, only to later tell me that you lost your wife. Then," her voice raises a little more with each sentence, "you spend the entire afternoon flirting and staring at my boobs, eventually kissing me and inviting me back to your apartment for dinner. I have no idea when your next mood swing is going to hit. I'll be honest, if you weren't so darn sexy, I would not still be sitting here right now." She pauses before jumping off my lap and screaming, "Crap, I have got to stop drinking and telling you how hot you are!" She finishes by chugging the rest of her beer. I can't stop the roar of laughter that escapes my mouth.
"Great! Now you're laughing at me. I need to go.” She puts the empty bottle down and turns to the door.
"Whoa. Hang on there, not so fast." I grab her from behind pulling her back down onto my lap. "I'm sorry. I know I've been a jerk over the last few days. You’re not the only one getting whiplash from my sudden changes. I don't know what's going on either. So, what if I tell you a few things I do know?
“I know that I had a blast with you today. I can't remember the last time I've laughed this much. And before you try to cut me off, I'm not laughing at you. I will never laugh at you. I think you're cute-" she tries to interrupt me but I just keep going, "and sexy. I like you. When I'm with you, I feel alive again. I'm not sure what to do with that, though. I am in no position to jump into a relationship. Jess, I haven't been with any woman but my wife in twelve years. I don't even know how to start something like this. All I can tell you is that I want to spend more time with you.”
"You know, that's what Caleb told me. He told me you were interested, but you just didn't know what to do with that yet."
"Well, finally Caleb was right about something."
"Are you going to go back to the angry ogre tomorrow?" she asks shyly.
"Since I have absolutely no clue what you are talking about, I'm going to say no. But! I reserve the right to change my answer when you explain to me what exactly the angry ogre is." I smile to make sure she knows I'm kidding. I think she gets my sense of humor, but I can't afford for her to take a joke the wrong way after the way I've acted recently.
"I'll point him out if he ever shows back up. Can we order some food now? I just chugged that beer, and it's going straight to my head."
"Absolutely! But only if you promise to never stop calling me hot." I wink and stand. Still holding her around the waist, I slide her down my body until her feet touch the ground.
"Not laughing at me, huh?" she asks, raising one eyebrow.
"Oh, I'm not laughing at all. I'm thinking about bringing you beer to work every day. You do great things for my self-confidence when you’re drinking." This comment earns me a light slap on the arm.
"Just what you need is a bigger ego."
"Jess, you wound me! I bet if you reach up here and give me another one of those kisses, I'd be willing to forgive you."
"In your dreams, big boy. And don't you
C. J. Cherryh
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