table and began to clear the coffee things away. “You’re not going to have dinner with us this evening, fine. Although it’s a shame you won’t be here - as it’ll be the last family dinner for a while.”
“What do you mean the last, what do you mean?” Tom looked scared.
“I mean I’m moving out. I’m moving out tomorrow. I’m going to stay at Dad’s for a while – at the flat.”
“What - why, how can you? What about Rick? Rosie, what are you talking about?”
“Rick is away for a few weeks. Lucy doesn’t think he’ll have a problem with it. And Evelyn thinks it’s a good idea.”
“Ma, Lucy – you’ve discussed this with them? Before you told me?” Tom ran a hand through his hair and shook his head at me.
“Yes, I have. And I know - it’s not nice being the last to know something is it?”
Tom looked grim. “Is this some kind of revenge? Is that it?” His voice was quiet.
“No, Tom, no it’s not. It’s about me and what I need to do. I’m tired, run down and with the shock of finding out about Robbie and – everything - I need some space, some time to myself.”
Tom put his head in his hands. Again I was aware of the clock ticking. Then Tom asked how he’d manage without me. He asked how the kids would manage. I told him I thought they’d all manage just fine. He begged me to reconsider. I said I wouldn’t, I couldn’t. He said I was a selfish bitch. I told him I’d learned selfishness from the master – him. Then he pushed his chair back and walked out. He left the house, clattering the door behind him.
I was trembling as the adrenalin, anger and fear subsided. Tom and I didn’t really do shouting or raw emotion. I think it was something that scared us both. We’d always been so civilised. I wondered where he would go – dressed only in his running gear and in great need of a shower.
I heard the floorboards creaking above me. The sound reminded me there was another difficult conversation I needed to have. I went upstairs. Adam’s door was closed. I heard music playing inside. I took a deep breath and knocked loudly.
“What?” Adam didn’t sound pleased to be interrupted.
I went in. “Hi, son.”
“Oh, it’s you. I didn’t know you were home.” He was lying on his back on top of the bed. His blind was closed as usual and the only light in his black and white room came from his tropical fish tank. He continued to look at the ceiling.
“Yes, I’m back - obviously.” I felt awkward. I perched at the end of the bed. “I’m so sorry, Adam. I’m sorry I hit you. I’ve never hit any of you. I don’t know what came over me. It’s no excuse, but Heather was my sister and I couldn’t bear to hear you talk like that about her. She was more than a pathetic junkie.” I paused, hoping he’d at least look at me. He didn’t. “And I’m sorry I lost it in the kitchen and that you had to find me like that. I’d had an awful day and seeing the mess in the kitchen - I just... Please forgive me.” I put my hand on his ankle.
He propped himself up on one elbow and looked at me at last. “No - you shouldn’t have hit me. Okay, I shouldn’t have said that about your sister. It was just - I hate it when things change.”
“I know you do. Robbie appearing was a shock for us all – and it does mean a bit of change and adjustment. But it’s a good sort of a change really, isn’t it – a new cousin? And Robbie seems nice, don’t you think?”
Adam shrugged. “He’s not going to be around much, is he? And Dad doesn’t seem that happy about him.”
“ Dad’ll get over it. He got a shock too. And I hope Robbie will be around a fair bit. I need – I want to get to know Heather’s son. He’s part of this family.”
“Don’t think I’m going to be happy about it, because I’m not. I just want things to go back to normal, and for you and Dad to be friends again, and for Robbie to go away.”
This was not going to be easy. “Adam, I’ve invited
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