Robbie – was it?”
“Yes, Robbie.” I sighed.
“Come here, hen,” Ruby said. As she embraced me I thought for a moment of my mother. “You go and get better,” she continued. “I’ll do whatever I can to make sure the family are okay– but they’ll have to do their bit too – I’ll see to that.”
“Thanks, Ruby, thank you so much. I don’t know what I’d do without you. You saved me seventeen years ago and you’re doing it again now.” I wiped away some escaped, rogue tears.
“No, hen - I did some cleaning and tidying up – you saved yourself. You’re strong, like me, but sometimes, even us strong ones need a break. So stop feeling guilty.” Ruby had tears in her eyes too.
“You will come and see me at the flat - won’t you?” I said.
“Just try and stop me!”
When I got home, Toby was in his bed in the hall, snoozing. He got up to greet me. His coat was damp and smelled of the sea. “ You been swimming Tobes ?” I said, as I patted him. I guessed he’d been out with Tom on the beach run. I went through to the kitchen. Tom was sitting at the table, drinking coffee and reading the paper. He was in his running gear. The front of his tee shirt was damp. I could smell his maleness and could see the sheen of sweat on his skin. Part of me wanted to walk over to him and put my arms around him. With hindsight, maybe that’s what I should’ve done. But at the time …
“You’re back then,” he said. He didn’t look at me.
“Yes, I’m back.” I picked up the percolator and poured myself a cup. I sat down opposite him. He continued reading his paper. I sipped my drink. I could hear the wall clock ticking - like a bomb about to go off.
Then Tom spoke, without looking up. “I was surprised to hear from Ma yesterday. She said you were too tired to come home and that I couldn’t speak to you.” He finally looked directly at me. “Are you ill?”
I hesitated for a heartbeat and thought ‘He knows’. But, in the same moment, I told myself that was impossible. “I’m okay – as Evelyn said, just a bit tired. Where are the kids?”
“Adam’s up in his room. Sam and Jen are both on early shift at the shop. Max is out playing with Neil and Connor. He’s having some lunch at Connor’s and then Connor’s dad’s taking them to the cinema this afternoon. He’ll be back about five he thinks.” Tom’s face was expressionless and his voice was flat. “We need to talk,” he said.
“Yes, we do.”
“I’m sorry, you know, for not telling you sooner – about Robbie.”
I nodded my head in acknowledgement of the apology. I knew he was waiting for me to apologise to him. “Look Tom, I know you just want everything back the way it was.”
“Yes, I do. Isn’t that what you want too?”
“It’s not a case of wanting it or not, Tom. It’s happened. Robbie is a fact. Your deception is a fact. Your motives for the deception – I don’t know what to think, what to believe.”
“I -”
“No, Tom, let me speak. I need to tell you what I’ve decided to do.”
“What do you mean, what you’ve decided? Is that why you went to Ma’s? You went to get her advice, told her all about it. I bet she’s on your side too.”
“Oh, for heaven’s sake, Tom, your mother doesn’t take sides. She listened to me. She didn’t pass judgement.”
Tom shrugged. “If you say so. Anyway, what’s this decision you’ve reached?”
“First of all, I want to make Robbie welcome, to get to know him and to include him as one of the family. I’ve invited him to come to dinner this evening.”
“Oh you have, have you? Well don’t expect me to welcome him. Don’t expect me to be here for dinner and to play at happy families.” Tom pushed his chair back and stood up. He leaned over the table so his face was level with mine. “He’s not one of the family . He has his own family – the Sutherlands are his family – not us!”
“Stop shouting, I get the message.” I got up from the
“Yes, Robbie.” I sighed.
“Come here, hen,” Ruby said. As she embraced me I thought for a moment of my mother. “You go and get better,” she continued. “I’ll do whatever I can to make sure the family are okay– but they’ll have to do their bit too – I’ll see to that.”
“Thanks, Ruby, thank you so much. I don’t know what I’d do without you. You saved me seventeen years ago and you’re doing it again now.” I wiped away some escaped, rogue tears.
“No, hen - I did some cleaning and tidying up – you saved yourself. You’re strong, like me, but sometimes, even us strong ones need a break. So stop feeling guilty.” Ruby had tears in her eyes too.
“You will come and see me at the flat - won’t you?” I said.
“Just try and stop me!”
When I got home, Toby was in his bed in the hall, snoozing. He got up to greet me. His coat was damp and smelled of the sea. “ You been swimming Tobes ?” I said, as I patted him. I guessed he’d been out with Tom on the beach run. I went through to the kitchen. Tom was sitting at the table, drinking coffee and reading the paper. He was in his running gear. The front of his tee shirt was damp. I could smell his maleness and could see the sheen of sweat on his skin. Part of me wanted to walk over to him and put my arms around him. With hindsight, maybe that’s what I should’ve done. But at the time …
“You’re back then,” he said. He didn’t look at me.
“Yes, I’m back.” I picked up the percolator and poured myself a cup. I sat down opposite him. He continued reading his paper. I sipped my drink. I could hear the wall clock ticking - like a bomb about to go off.
Then Tom spoke, without looking up. “I was surprised to hear from Ma yesterday. She said you were too tired to come home and that I couldn’t speak to you.” He finally looked directly at me. “Are you ill?”
I hesitated for a heartbeat and thought ‘He knows’. But, in the same moment, I told myself that was impossible. “I’m okay – as Evelyn said, just a bit tired. Where are the kids?”
“Adam’s up in his room. Sam and Jen are both on early shift at the shop. Max is out playing with Neil and Connor. He’s having some lunch at Connor’s and then Connor’s dad’s taking them to the cinema this afternoon. He’ll be back about five he thinks.” Tom’s face was expressionless and his voice was flat. “We need to talk,” he said.
“Yes, we do.”
“I’m sorry, you know, for not telling you sooner – about Robbie.”
I nodded my head in acknowledgement of the apology. I knew he was waiting for me to apologise to him. “Look Tom, I know you just want everything back the way it was.”
“Yes, I do. Isn’t that what you want too?”
“It’s not a case of wanting it or not, Tom. It’s happened. Robbie is a fact. Your deception is a fact. Your motives for the deception – I don’t know what to think, what to believe.”
“I -”
“No, Tom, let me speak. I need to tell you what I’ve decided to do.”
“What do you mean, what you’ve decided? Is that why you went to Ma’s? You went to get her advice, told her all about it. I bet she’s on your side too.”
“Oh, for heaven’s sake, Tom, your mother doesn’t take sides. She listened to me. She didn’t pass judgement.”
Tom shrugged. “If you say so. Anyway, what’s this decision you’ve reached?”
“First of all, I want to make Robbie welcome, to get to know him and to include him as one of the family. I’ve invited him to come to dinner this evening.”
“Oh you have, have you? Well don’t expect me to welcome him. Don’t expect me to be here for dinner and to play at happy families.” Tom pushed his chair back and stood up. He leaned over the table so his face was level with mine. “He’s not one of the family . He has his own family – the Sutherlands are his family – not us!”
“Stop shouting, I get the message.” I got up from the
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