closed doors. Needless to say Sheelagh loved the new tattoo ideas and had them completed the following month.
Thinking about GRS
Sheelagh turned fifty-six in 2013. She told me that she regretted waiting as long as she did to start transitioning. She knew that the surgeries she ’ d had were necessary, and had accepted the risks that were associated with each one. She had mentioned before that having genital reconstruction surgery (GRS) might be something she would need. This surgery can be part of the treatment for severe gender dysphoria. It would change her male genitals to female genitals. The procedure carries many high risks that range from loss of sensation to death. She knew that as she got older the chance of something going wrong in surgery got higher. And if it had to be done, it would be better to have it done sooner than later.
I wasn ’ t going to accept the possibility of her dying to have this done. I had endured enough stress already with being involved in her FFS and breast surgery. I sure as hell didn ’ t need this as well. I wasn ’ t interested at all in discussing this. As far as I was concerned the procedure was not happening.
From the very beginning of Sheelagh ’ s transition I told her I would stay with her and support her but my “ line in the sand ” was - if she ever got GRS I told her I would leave. You have to remember I ’ ve always been heterosexual and the two of us were still enjoying somewhat of a sex life, but GRS would change all that.
I had no idea how to relate to a woman sexually and I didn ’ t want to. I had married a man and I thought I ’ d been as understanding and supportive and loving as possible. I did not support this idea and she stopped talking about it. I hoped she stopped thinking about it as well. So what do we do when things have been tense and we want a break, we go shopping of course.
Syracuse
The next weekend we went over the border and went shopping at our favourite mall and ate at our favourite Italian restaurant. That night we made love and reconnected in a way that we hadn ’ t in four months.
How could she think of getting GRS when everything was working? Sheelagh often would say that she felt we were in a sexless marriage. We tried quite often to have sex that would end happily for Sheelagh, unfortunately it didn’t happen often enough. That weekend proved her wrong. Maybe now she would stop talking about GRS!
Southwest Tour
In September we took our yearly fall trip to Arizona. It may sound strange that we would travel to one of the least gay friendly states, but we never had a problem. Once in a while we ’ d get a few stares but nothing more than that. We selected our hotels carefully, usually looking for those which were TAG approved (staff was trained in LGBT diversity and sensitivity) .We always ordered a king bed in hotels and we were treated the same as anyone else.
There was one time we felt really uncomfortable and it was in a town called Farmington. Driving in, the town looked like it had seen better years, and everywhere you looked were pickup trucks with gun racks on them. The people we encountered wore tractor caps and weren ’ t all that enlightened. That night we had dinner in our room because we thought that was safer than going out in the dark. Out of all the places we saw that was the one where our intuition told us to lay low, so we did. We were out of there and on the road by 9:00 A.M. and on our way to Ouray, Colorado.
We stopped in Silverton to check out their tourist information centre. The man at the till probably hadn’t seen many tall women, because he paid close attention to Sheelagh. She wondered if she was being monitored for shoplifting. We squashed a souvenir penny, got some drinks and gladly continued on with our journey through high mountain passes.
The weather was sunny and brisk when we arrived in Ouray, but we were too early to check in to our hotel. We had lunch and did some
Thinking about GRS
Sheelagh turned fifty-six in 2013. She told me that she regretted waiting as long as she did to start transitioning. She knew that the surgeries she ’ d had were necessary, and had accepted the risks that were associated with each one. She had mentioned before that having genital reconstruction surgery (GRS) might be something she would need. This surgery can be part of the treatment for severe gender dysphoria. It would change her male genitals to female genitals. The procedure carries many high risks that range from loss of sensation to death. She knew that as she got older the chance of something going wrong in surgery got higher. And if it had to be done, it would be better to have it done sooner than later.
I wasn ’ t going to accept the possibility of her dying to have this done. I had endured enough stress already with being involved in her FFS and breast surgery. I sure as hell didn ’ t need this as well. I wasn ’ t interested at all in discussing this. As far as I was concerned the procedure was not happening.
From the very beginning of Sheelagh ’ s transition I told her I would stay with her and support her but my “ line in the sand ” was - if she ever got GRS I told her I would leave. You have to remember I ’ ve always been heterosexual and the two of us were still enjoying somewhat of a sex life, but GRS would change all that.
I had no idea how to relate to a woman sexually and I didn ’ t want to. I had married a man and I thought I ’ d been as understanding and supportive and loving as possible. I did not support this idea and she stopped talking about it. I hoped she stopped thinking about it as well. So what do we do when things have been tense and we want a break, we go shopping of course.
Syracuse
The next weekend we went over the border and went shopping at our favourite mall and ate at our favourite Italian restaurant. That night we made love and reconnected in a way that we hadn ’ t in four months.
How could she think of getting GRS when everything was working? Sheelagh often would say that she felt we were in a sexless marriage. We tried quite often to have sex that would end happily for Sheelagh, unfortunately it didn’t happen often enough. That weekend proved her wrong. Maybe now she would stop talking about GRS!
Southwest Tour
In September we took our yearly fall trip to Arizona. It may sound strange that we would travel to one of the least gay friendly states, but we never had a problem. Once in a while we ’ d get a few stares but nothing more than that. We selected our hotels carefully, usually looking for those which were TAG approved (staff was trained in LGBT diversity and sensitivity) .We always ordered a king bed in hotels and we were treated the same as anyone else.
There was one time we felt really uncomfortable and it was in a town called Farmington. Driving in, the town looked like it had seen better years, and everywhere you looked were pickup trucks with gun racks on them. The people we encountered wore tractor caps and weren ’ t all that enlightened. That night we had dinner in our room because we thought that was safer than going out in the dark. Out of all the places we saw that was the one where our intuition told us to lay low, so we did. We were out of there and on the road by 9:00 A.M. and on our way to Ouray, Colorado.
We stopped in Silverton to check out their tourist information centre. The man at the till probably hadn’t seen many tall women, because he paid close attention to Sheelagh. She wondered if she was being monitored for shoplifting. We squashed a souvenir penny, got some drinks and gladly continued on with our journey through high mountain passes.
The weather was sunny and brisk when we arrived in Ouray, but we were too early to check in to our hotel. We had lunch and did some
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