else. At 5:30 P.M. my brother-in-law came by with chicken and salads for dinner. The three of us were sitting in the living room of my mom ’ s apartment eating and chatting, when I felt this strange feeling and I stood up and said I was going to go and check on mom. I walked into her bedroom and saw right away she had stopped breathing. She was still warm to the touch so I held her hand and cried a little. After a few minutes I went back out to the living room and said, “I think mom has died.”
They both jumped up and ran to the bedroom, I followed. They both cried and when I touched mom ’ s cheek it had gone cold. That ’ s when all the phone calls had to be made to the coroner, the funeral home, and all family members. When I called Sheelagh she was a calm and gentle presence for me and was absolutely wonderful saying all the things I needed to hear.
I missed Sheelagh so much and since it was the weekend, and there wasn’t anything I could do in St.Catharines until Monday, I headed home for the weekend. It was wonderful to see Sheelagh and have her hold me and tell me everything was going to be okay. She looked good but I didn ’ t want to squeeze her too hard because I was worried about popping her new breasts. She told me it wasn ’ t possible, but I didn ’ t believe her. I thought she needed more time to heal.
I was just there for the two days and then I drove back to St. Catharines again on Monday. Sheelagh had to stay at home because we were having a new furnace installed and we couldn ’ t cancel it. She was taking it easy but had to get her own meals and make her own tea. She wasn ’ t getting as spoiled as she would have been had I been able to be home with her. She was just great about it and was holding up well.
Sissy and I visited the funeral home and made arrangements. I had written the obituary (at two o ’ clock in the morning, when I couldn’t sleep) so we submitted that, and then we had to go back to the apartment to divide things up and get everything cleared out. An exhausting and time consuming experience. Two days later was mom ’ s funeral and Sheelagh drove herself down to be there. I really wanted her there, but I had told her it wasn ’ t necessary. I didn ’ t want her to hurt her stitches or get so tired she drove off the highway. Needless to say she came, and her presence gave me strength.
I gave the eulogy for my mom, and just being able to look out and see Sheelagh ’ s face and the love in her eyes helped me get through it. It was a time of sadness but my mom was ninety-one years old and sick, so we all knew it was a blessing for her to go on to her next life.
After the funeral my family returned to Sissy ’ s house for the wake. I hadn ’ t seen most of them for a few years and none of them had ever met Sheelagh before except for a few minutes at the funeral home. I could see my nieces staring at her when they thought no one was looking. It was definitely the first time they had ever met a transwoman but they were fine with Sheelagh. Everyone seemed to be very accepting of her and Sheelagh was quite comfortable being there. She spent the night and left the next morning to return to work.
After all the loose ends were tied up I returned home. Sheelagh was wonderful, she took on my work around the house and looked after our two dogs and gave me time to heal. She forced me out of the house the following weekend to drive up to Prince Edward County for their lavender festival. The last thing I wanted to do was go outside and be with people but that day was the best day. Sheelagh knew what I needed when I didn ’ t and I can honestly tell you I was happily surprised she was so empathetic. Don ’ t get me wrong I know she loves me and cares about me but for so long everything had been about her, that I thought she ’ d be upset looking after me, but no – she was caring, giving, and really put herself out to be there for me.
We ’ re a team
They both jumped up and ran to the bedroom, I followed. They both cried and when I touched mom ’ s cheek it had gone cold. That ’ s when all the phone calls had to be made to the coroner, the funeral home, and all family members. When I called Sheelagh she was a calm and gentle presence for me and was absolutely wonderful saying all the things I needed to hear.
I missed Sheelagh so much and since it was the weekend, and there wasn’t anything I could do in St.Catharines until Monday, I headed home for the weekend. It was wonderful to see Sheelagh and have her hold me and tell me everything was going to be okay. She looked good but I didn ’ t want to squeeze her too hard because I was worried about popping her new breasts. She told me it wasn ’ t possible, but I didn ’ t believe her. I thought she needed more time to heal.
I was just there for the two days and then I drove back to St. Catharines again on Monday. Sheelagh had to stay at home because we were having a new furnace installed and we couldn ’ t cancel it. She was taking it easy but had to get her own meals and make her own tea. She wasn ’ t getting as spoiled as she would have been had I been able to be home with her. She was just great about it and was holding up well.
Sissy and I visited the funeral home and made arrangements. I had written the obituary (at two o ’ clock in the morning, when I couldn’t sleep) so we submitted that, and then we had to go back to the apartment to divide things up and get everything cleared out. An exhausting and time consuming experience. Two days later was mom ’ s funeral and Sheelagh drove herself down to be there. I really wanted her there, but I had told her it wasn ’ t necessary. I didn ’ t want her to hurt her stitches or get so tired she drove off the highway. Needless to say she came, and her presence gave me strength.
I gave the eulogy for my mom, and just being able to look out and see Sheelagh ’ s face and the love in her eyes helped me get through it. It was a time of sadness but my mom was ninety-one years old and sick, so we all knew it was a blessing for her to go on to her next life.
After the funeral my family returned to Sissy ’ s house for the wake. I hadn ’ t seen most of them for a few years and none of them had ever met Sheelagh before except for a few minutes at the funeral home. I could see my nieces staring at her when they thought no one was looking. It was definitely the first time they had ever met a transwoman but they were fine with Sheelagh. Everyone seemed to be very accepting of her and Sheelagh was quite comfortable being there. She spent the night and left the next morning to return to work.
After all the loose ends were tied up I returned home. Sheelagh was wonderful, she took on my work around the house and looked after our two dogs and gave me time to heal. She forced me out of the house the following weekend to drive up to Prince Edward County for their lavender festival. The last thing I wanted to do was go outside and be with people but that day was the best day. Sheelagh knew what I needed when I didn ’ t and I can honestly tell you I was happily surprised she was so empathetic. Don ’ t get me wrong I know she loves me and cares about me but for so long everything had been about her, that I thought she ’ d be upset looking after me, but no – she was caring, giving, and really put herself out to be there for me.
We ’ re a team
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