Carry Me Home (The Home Series: Book Three) by Megan Nugen Isbell

thigh and my eyes drifted to the familiar hands.  They looked older, more weathered and I knew they’d been through a lot since I’d last held them. 
    “I just don’t understand how you just left without blinking an eye,” I continued as a few more tears escaped. 
    “I know you think it was easy for me, but it wasn’t,” he said and I saw him swallow hard and when he spoke, his voice cracked. “I thought about you every day…I hoped you were okay.”
    “Then why didn’t you call? Why did you just disappear?”
    “Because I had to.  If I talked to you, I’d just want to come back and I couldn’t.  I had to do this and I wish I could have without hurting you.  I’m so sorry,” he continued and I just nodded as he pulled his hand off my leg. “I wanted to call you so many times though.  You don’t know how many times my finger rested on that send button, but I knew calling you wouldn’t be fair.” 
    “Was it worth it?” I asked after a few quiet moments and then dried my eyes, determined not to cry anymore. “Are you okay now?”
    “It wasn’t worth the pain I caused you, but I think I’ve finally straightened myself out.”
    “You’re good then?”
    “I think so.”
    “Did you like the Marines?” I asked.  I wanted to know about his life after he left and I hoped he’d share some of it with me.
    “I did, but I’m anxious to get on with my life.”
    “And what’s that going to consist of?”
    “Going to school…like we’d planned four years ago,” he said, giving me a little grin.
    “What do you want to do?” I asked.
    “You’re gonna laugh.”
    “Why would I laugh?”
    “You just will.”
    “Just tell me.  I promise not to laugh,” I prodded and then waited a few seconds before he told me.
    “I think I want to teach history,” he said, eyeing me peculiarly as he waited for my reaction.
    “Why would I laugh about that?”
    “Because we used to make fun of Mr. Barry all the time.”
    “Yeah, because he was such a tool,” I laughed. “Just make sure not to wear tweed or grow a mustache and you’ll be an awesome teacher.”
    “I’ll be sure to remember that.  No tweed or stache,” he laughed.
    “ Have you decided on a school?”
    “Not yet.  I’m thinking about the University of Washington or Oregon.  Some place I’ve never been.”
    “You’re not staying around Kansas then?” I asked and I wondered if he picked up on the disappointment in my voice.
    “Nothing’s set in stone.  I’m not sure if I’m ready to come back to Kansas,” he said and I just nodded, before I noticed the curious expression on his face as he looked at me.  “And you’re good?”
    “Yeah.   I’m fine,” I said, trying to sound confident, when the truth was, my confidence had been shaken from the moment I saw him in the cereal aisle at Dillon’s. 
    “How’s school going?”
    “Okay.  One more year and I’m done.”
    “I hear you’re going to be a physical therapist.”
    “That’s the plan.”
    “What do you want to do with it?”
    “I’m not sure yet.  Maybe work at rehab center or maybe even in a school.”
    “Have you thought about a veteran’s hospital at all?” he asked and I found myself smiling as I thought about Brandon.
    “That’s actually a really good idea,” I said and then I noticed the way he was looking at me, as if he wanted to ask me something and he wasn’t sure if he should.
    “Mandy tells me you have a boyfriend,” he eventually said and the ease with which we’d been talking was instantly gone the moment his words left his mouth.
    “Yes, I do.”
    “Is it serious?”
    “Yeah.  Evan and I have been together about a year now.”
    “And what does he do?”
    “He’s an accountant.  He lives in Kansas City actually.”
    He nodded and then a small smile spread on his face.
    “I’m glad you’re happy,” he said and then paused for a moment. “You are happy, right?”
    “Yes,” I said quickly. “Evan and I are