into outdoor showers. A dozen stalls in a row, each with towels and bars of soap.
“Please deposit your clothing outside the stall and take a shower, as long as you need. The water’s warm.”
The four of us stare at one other, but then Basil moves first, pulling her tank top over her head. She turns the knob in a stall, and we watch as steaming water sprays out of the showerhead.
“Hana, you first. Come in here, the water’s warm, like the lady said.”
Hana sticks her hand in the water and squeals.
“See, told you. Now take off your clothes and get in. Make sure you use the soap.”
“What’s that?”
“This.” Basil points out a bar. “Come here, sis.” She’s patient with Hana, who listens and then undresses before getting in the shower. “Now I’m getting in, okay? But I’m right next to you if you need anything.” Basil wriggles her jeans off and gets in, leaving Mom and I to stare at one another.
“I guess it will feel nice.” Mom’s shoulders are stiff, but she turns around and unzips her coat. I do the same, facing the stall, trying to create a bit of privacy.
“Lucy, I can’t believe I hesitated, this feels amazing!” Mom calls from the shower stall next to me.
“Okay, yeah, I’m getting in,” I answer, distracted by the girl coming over to me.
“Please hand me your clothing, Vessel. I’ll bring you a clean robe.”
“Sorry.” I tug off my shirt and bra, feeling exposed, but I have no choice.
Soon the water’s blazing hot against my skin. The four of us stay in long enough for me to rewash my hair three times, intoxicated by the vanilla-scented shampoo. I’ve never experienced a continuous supply of hot water; lukewarm water was a luxury that rarely existed.
When I turn off the water, the girl who took my clothes comes back, giving me clean underclothes. She helps me into a silky, light yellow robe, and then she wraps orange cord around my waist. The dress hangs loose like a tunic; I’ve become a Grecian in Aristotle’s court.
“The newest Vessels wear yellow robes. Once you are given a new name from your Humbleman, you begin wearing white like me,” the girl explains.
Once dressed and with thin slippers on our feet, the four of us are led through the big front door into a large room. I take in the Refuge cautiously; the stark white walls and cement floor feel cold and sterile. There’s a row of wooden chairs and a table in the center. Mom smiles and nods towards me as I walk in. Soft music makes its way throughout the room. It’s odd to hear such rich sounds since I’ve led such a quiet life, my ears tickle with the sound.
There are women and girls of all ages lined along the perimeter of the room, holding hands, with serene smiles and closed eyes. Their quietude seeps into my pores as Mom and I take our seats.
“We’re here, Lucy,” Mom says, sitting next to me. The internal struggle I’ve had since we started this journey … the bitterness of leaving the compound on such horrible terms, the sadness of not having a choice in the decision to come here, the apprehension at Mom’s belief that there’s a purpose waiting for me here … slips away with each breath I take.
The woman who directed us at the entrance to the Refuge stands at the front of the room, smiling graciously as the four of us fall silent with her presence.
“We welcome you to our Refuge.” Her voice is larger then her frame, but she isn’t loud, she’s gifted at communication because my pounding heart stills. Her gentle tone cascades over me, quieting my mind.
“My name is Honor, and as the First Vessel of this Refuge, I offer you a sincere welcome. Our desire is that every newly-committed Vessel and their offspring will find a unique and ordained place in this fold. We strive to nurture every soul by finding each one a place to work with their hands, their mind, and their spirit. Surely there are many questions waiting to be answered as you have travelled here with uncertainty.
“Please deposit your clothing outside the stall and take a shower, as long as you need. The water’s warm.”
The four of us stare at one other, but then Basil moves first, pulling her tank top over her head. She turns the knob in a stall, and we watch as steaming water sprays out of the showerhead.
“Hana, you first. Come in here, the water’s warm, like the lady said.”
Hana sticks her hand in the water and squeals.
“See, told you. Now take off your clothes and get in. Make sure you use the soap.”
“What’s that?”
“This.” Basil points out a bar. “Come here, sis.” She’s patient with Hana, who listens and then undresses before getting in the shower. “Now I’m getting in, okay? But I’m right next to you if you need anything.” Basil wriggles her jeans off and gets in, leaving Mom and I to stare at one another.
“I guess it will feel nice.” Mom’s shoulders are stiff, but she turns around and unzips her coat. I do the same, facing the stall, trying to create a bit of privacy.
“Lucy, I can’t believe I hesitated, this feels amazing!” Mom calls from the shower stall next to me.
“Okay, yeah, I’m getting in,” I answer, distracted by the girl coming over to me.
“Please hand me your clothing, Vessel. I’ll bring you a clean robe.”
“Sorry.” I tug off my shirt and bra, feeling exposed, but I have no choice.
Soon the water’s blazing hot against my skin. The four of us stay in long enough for me to rewash my hair three times, intoxicated by the vanilla-scented shampoo. I’ve never experienced a continuous supply of hot water; lukewarm water was a luxury that rarely existed.
When I turn off the water, the girl who took my clothes comes back, giving me clean underclothes. She helps me into a silky, light yellow robe, and then she wraps orange cord around my waist. The dress hangs loose like a tunic; I’ve become a Grecian in Aristotle’s court.
“The newest Vessels wear yellow robes. Once you are given a new name from your Humbleman, you begin wearing white like me,” the girl explains.
Once dressed and with thin slippers on our feet, the four of us are led through the big front door into a large room. I take in the Refuge cautiously; the stark white walls and cement floor feel cold and sterile. There’s a row of wooden chairs and a table in the center. Mom smiles and nods towards me as I walk in. Soft music makes its way throughout the room. It’s odd to hear such rich sounds since I’ve led such a quiet life, my ears tickle with the sound.
There are women and girls of all ages lined along the perimeter of the room, holding hands, with serene smiles and closed eyes. Their quietude seeps into my pores as Mom and I take our seats.
“We’re here, Lucy,” Mom says, sitting next to me. The internal struggle I’ve had since we started this journey … the bitterness of leaving the compound on such horrible terms, the sadness of not having a choice in the decision to come here, the apprehension at Mom’s belief that there’s a purpose waiting for me here … slips away with each breath I take.
The woman who directed us at the entrance to the Refuge stands at the front of the room, smiling graciously as the four of us fall silent with her presence.
“We welcome you to our Refuge.” Her voice is larger then her frame, but she isn’t loud, she’s gifted at communication because my pounding heart stills. Her gentle tone cascades over me, quieting my mind.
“My name is Honor, and as the First Vessel of this Refuge, I offer you a sincere welcome. Our desire is that every newly-committed Vessel and their offspring will find a unique and ordained place in this fold. We strive to nurture every soul by finding each one a place to work with their hands, their mind, and their spirit. Surely there are many questions waiting to be answered as you have travelled here with uncertainty.
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