just done: blown past them without explanation.
For some reason, it assuaged her guilt about Peter, after all, the guys would most likely shrug off her abruptness. She continued on toward the field. This morning was the coldest they’d had so far this year, and she wished she’d stopped for a heavy coat; her down vest wasn’t cutting it. Everyone wore layers as a general rule because it was always cold, even inside. There were few resources, and what they did have, they conserved. Mr. West said that, in time, the electrical plants would be back up and running, as soon as things were better organized and calmer. He said that it was human nature to adapt, and Promise knew that was true–but where did that leave the non-humans? Did vampires adapt, too?
As she approached her, Lea turned around. Her eyes were red and puffy, and she swiped a mittened hand under her nose. “Hi,” she said, and her voice was rough from crying. “Listen, Promise, I wanted to say I’m sorry about–”
“No, Lea, don’t say that,” Promise cut in. “You don’t have anything to be sorry about. I was the one being a jerk.”
“No, you weren’t being a jerk. It’s not like we knew each other before all of this…you couldn’t know.” Fresh tears welled in her eyes. “You couldn’t know that no one loves me, that no one ever has.”
Promise–who’d grown up surrounded by love–was stunned by Lea’s words. She grabbed Lea’s hands in hers.
“ I love you, Lea. And Mark does and Mr. West and half the kids, at least, probably more. And Megan and the Gerber brothers and…gosh, Lea, there are so many people that love you. I could take you through that building and point them all out if you wanted me too.”
“It’s not the same thing, Promise. I appreciate it, but it’s not like…not like you were saying in the cafeteria. If I weren’t here, you and Mark and Mr. West and everyone else would miss me, maybe, but you wouldn’t…it wouldn’t matter as much. You’d find a new friend. Mark would find a girlfriend, he probably will anyway, and Mr. West…he’s good to everybody. I realize that now.” She disengaged her hands from Promise’s and wiped under her nose again. She looked like a sad, hurt child. “I don’t have that deeper connection, that bond, with anybody. I never have.”
“Lea, I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine what it must have been like. I wish I could do something, change it for you.”
Lea nodded and gulped a steadying breath. “I was thinking–I want to help you with Chance.”
Promise was taken off guard by what seemed to her the sudden change of topic. “Huh? Why?”
Lea shook her head, perplexed. “I dunno, I just feel like…if I can be around it and see that bond and how it works, then maybe I’ll recognize it if it ever happens to me. What if someone loves me and I don’t even know it, or even worse, what if I ever have kids of my own and I don’t know how to love them?”
“You’ll know,” Promise said quickly, thinking of Chance and how she’d loved him on sight. Before sight, really, because she’d loved him from the first time she’d seen him sliding mysteriously under the tight curve of her mom’s belly like some deep-sea creature. “You’ll love your husband, and you’ll love your children. That’s the way it works.” She couldn’t imagine it otherwise.
Lea smiled sadly. “It doesn’t always work that way,” she said.
Promise didn’t know what to say, so instead, she took her friend’s hand and led her through the gate into the makeshift paddock. Ash had been watching Promise closely since she came out of the school, and now he trotted toward her, head up, mane waving like a flag. Snow looked up in surprise then started walking in their direction, too.
Promise smiled; it was hard not to at the sight of that beautiful black horse coming to greet her. She glanced at Lea, and Lea was smiling, too. She squeezed Lea’s hand and let it go, then ran to meet Ash
For some reason, it assuaged her guilt about Peter, after all, the guys would most likely shrug off her abruptness. She continued on toward the field. This morning was the coldest they’d had so far this year, and she wished she’d stopped for a heavy coat; her down vest wasn’t cutting it. Everyone wore layers as a general rule because it was always cold, even inside. There were few resources, and what they did have, they conserved. Mr. West said that, in time, the electrical plants would be back up and running, as soon as things were better organized and calmer. He said that it was human nature to adapt, and Promise knew that was true–but where did that leave the non-humans? Did vampires adapt, too?
As she approached her, Lea turned around. Her eyes were red and puffy, and she swiped a mittened hand under her nose. “Hi,” she said, and her voice was rough from crying. “Listen, Promise, I wanted to say I’m sorry about–”
“No, Lea, don’t say that,” Promise cut in. “You don’t have anything to be sorry about. I was the one being a jerk.”
“No, you weren’t being a jerk. It’s not like we knew each other before all of this…you couldn’t know.” Fresh tears welled in her eyes. “You couldn’t know that no one loves me, that no one ever has.”
Promise–who’d grown up surrounded by love–was stunned by Lea’s words. She grabbed Lea’s hands in hers.
“ I love you, Lea. And Mark does and Mr. West and half the kids, at least, probably more. And Megan and the Gerber brothers and…gosh, Lea, there are so many people that love you. I could take you through that building and point them all out if you wanted me too.”
“It’s not the same thing, Promise. I appreciate it, but it’s not like…not like you were saying in the cafeteria. If I weren’t here, you and Mark and Mr. West and everyone else would miss me, maybe, but you wouldn’t…it wouldn’t matter as much. You’d find a new friend. Mark would find a girlfriend, he probably will anyway, and Mr. West…he’s good to everybody. I realize that now.” She disengaged her hands from Promise’s and wiped under her nose again. She looked like a sad, hurt child. “I don’t have that deeper connection, that bond, with anybody. I never have.”
“Lea, I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine what it must have been like. I wish I could do something, change it for you.”
Lea nodded and gulped a steadying breath. “I was thinking–I want to help you with Chance.”
Promise was taken off guard by what seemed to her the sudden change of topic. “Huh? Why?”
Lea shook her head, perplexed. “I dunno, I just feel like…if I can be around it and see that bond and how it works, then maybe I’ll recognize it if it ever happens to me. What if someone loves me and I don’t even know it, or even worse, what if I ever have kids of my own and I don’t know how to love them?”
“You’ll know,” Promise said quickly, thinking of Chance and how she’d loved him on sight. Before sight, really, because she’d loved him from the first time she’d seen him sliding mysteriously under the tight curve of her mom’s belly like some deep-sea creature. “You’ll love your husband, and you’ll love your children. That’s the way it works.” She couldn’t imagine it otherwise.
Lea smiled sadly. “It doesn’t always work that way,” she said.
Promise didn’t know what to say, so instead, she took her friend’s hand and led her through the gate into the makeshift paddock. Ash had been watching Promise closely since she came out of the school, and now he trotted toward her, head up, mane waving like a flag. Snow looked up in surprise then started walking in their direction, too.
Promise smiled; it was hard not to at the sight of that beautiful black horse coming to greet her. She glanced at Lea, and Lea was smiling, too. She squeezed Lea’s hand and let it go, then ran to meet Ash
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