having fun. The point was celebrating life. The point was being alive... and together...
And while Danny couldn’t imagine being with any other people in the world right then, he did have an empty spot in his heart.
There was one person missing...
**
“Liv.”
Liv turned her head and coughed, holding a bottle of water in her left hand, trying to use her right hand to wipe a tear away from her cheek without Lorraine seeing it. She knew there wasn’t a chance in hell Lorraine didn’t see it, but she also knew Lorraine wouldn’t say a word about it unless she felt she had to.
“Enjoying the view?” Lorraine asked.
“Yeah, I am,” Liv said.
They stood on the back deck, looking out to the yard, to the trees, to the man made enclosure that Liv normally saw as her own world but now seemed like a prison.
“Is Dad okay?” she asked.
“Of course he is,” Lorraine said. “He’s napping now. Told me he needed to rest his eyes for ten minutes. To wake him before his shift starts.”
Liv tried to laugh, but it came out a broken sigh. She blinked as more tears came.
“Sorry,” she whispered.
Lorraine rubbed her back. “No need to be sorry, honey. You have every right to get emotional. To get mad. To want to quit. To question your life. It’s all part of the deal here.”
“The deal,” Liv said. “What a deal.”
“It’s a terrible deal,” Lorraine said. “Because at the end of it you get nothing. You lose time. You lose sleep. But... just know that somewhere in his mind and somewhere beyond this world, it’s known what you’re doing for him.”
Liv looked at Lorraine and shook her head. “You should write books about it.”
“No,” Lorraine said. “I’m happy here. The stories I have are my own. I went through it with my parents on my own and everyday at work. You’re not alone, Liv, even if it feels that way.”
Liv scanned her yard again. She thought about the day she bought the house. Seeing the yard had sealed the deal. Her mind instantly pictured playing tag football in the backyard, raking giant leave piles in the autumn, building snowmen in the winter. It was the first time she really thought about having a family. Plus, seeing the property line reminded her that she was just a few miles away from all those spots she and friends would go to spend warm afternoons together.
When she saw the missing pieces of her fence, it tore at her heart. There was so much she wanted to take out on Danny. The anger, the pain, the years of loneliness that suffocated her heart. But Liv couldn’t do it. Not with Danny putting his father into the ground. Not after all that happened between them when Danny and his brother were growing up. The last thing she needed was to get stuck in an emotional war with him.
But when was he leaving?
His band would have to go to work again... they’d have to play shows, make music, the whole thing...
“You look like you’re being torn apart right now,” Lorraine said.
“I feel it.”
“Does it have to do with today?”
Liv nodded.
There was no real need to lie to Lorraine.
“Starstruck or heartbroken?” Lorraine asked.
“What if I say both?”
Lorraine laughed and leaned against the railing, folding her hands. “I’m sorry, Liv, for whatever you’re going through.”
“Lorraine... when is a dream dead?”
“When you let it die,” Lorraine said.
“What does that mean?”
“That means a dream is alive as long as you want it to be.”
“What about dreaming about love?”
“What’s wrong with that?” Lorraine asked. “Sometimes waiting makes it that much better. Sometimes it doesn’t.”
“How long can one person wait?”
Lorraine looked at Liv and her eyes were glossy. “As long as they have to.”
“Oh, Lorraine, I didn’t...”
Liv felt two inches tall. She forgot about Liv’s husband...
“Right before Barry passed away,” Lorraine said, “he took my hand and squeezed it. He told me he wanted me to live and be
And while Danny couldn’t imagine being with any other people in the world right then, he did have an empty spot in his heart.
There was one person missing...
**
“Liv.”
Liv turned her head and coughed, holding a bottle of water in her left hand, trying to use her right hand to wipe a tear away from her cheek without Lorraine seeing it. She knew there wasn’t a chance in hell Lorraine didn’t see it, but she also knew Lorraine wouldn’t say a word about it unless she felt she had to.
“Enjoying the view?” Lorraine asked.
“Yeah, I am,” Liv said.
They stood on the back deck, looking out to the yard, to the trees, to the man made enclosure that Liv normally saw as her own world but now seemed like a prison.
“Is Dad okay?” she asked.
“Of course he is,” Lorraine said. “He’s napping now. Told me he needed to rest his eyes for ten minutes. To wake him before his shift starts.”
Liv tried to laugh, but it came out a broken sigh. She blinked as more tears came.
“Sorry,” she whispered.
Lorraine rubbed her back. “No need to be sorry, honey. You have every right to get emotional. To get mad. To want to quit. To question your life. It’s all part of the deal here.”
“The deal,” Liv said. “What a deal.”
“It’s a terrible deal,” Lorraine said. “Because at the end of it you get nothing. You lose time. You lose sleep. But... just know that somewhere in his mind and somewhere beyond this world, it’s known what you’re doing for him.”
Liv looked at Lorraine and shook her head. “You should write books about it.”
“No,” Lorraine said. “I’m happy here. The stories I have are my own. I went through it with my parents on my own and everyday at work. You’re not alone, Liv, even if it feels that way.”
Liv scanned her yard again. She thought about the day she bought the house. Seeing the yard had sealed the deal. Her mind instantly pictured playing tag football in the backyard, raking giant leave piles in the autumn, building snowmen in the winter. It was the first time she really thought about having a family. Plus, seeing the property line reminded her that she was just a few miles away from all those spots she and friends would go to spend warm afternoons together.
When she saw the missing pieces of her fence, it tore at her heart. There was so much she wanted to take out on Danny. The anger, the pain, the years of loneliness that suffocated her heart. But Liv couldn’t do it. Not with Danny putting his father into the ground. Not after all that happened between them when Danny and his brother were growing up. The last thing she needed was to get stuck in an emotional war with him.
But when was he leaving?
His band would have to go to work again... they’d have to play shows, make music, the whole thing...
“You look like you’re being torn apart right now,” Lorraine said.
“I feel it.”
“Does it have to do with today?”
Liv nodded.
There was no real need to lie to Lorraine.
“Starstruck or heartbroken?” Lorraine asked.
“What if I say both?”
Lorraine laughed and leaned against the railing, folding her hands. “I’m sorry, Liv, for whatever you’re going through.”
“Lorraine... when is a dream dead?”
“When you let it die,” Lorraine said.
“What does that mean?”
“That means a dream is alive as long as you want it to be.”
“What about dreaming about love?”
“What’s wrong with that?” Lorraine asked. “Sometimes waiting makes it that much better. Sometimes it doesn’t.”
“How long can one person wait?”
Lorraine looked at Liv and her eyes were glossy. “As long as they have to.”
“Oh, Lorraine, I didn’t...”
Liv felt two inches tall. She forgot about Liv’s husband...
“Right before Barry passed away,” Lorraine said, “he took my hand and squeezed it. He told me he wanted me to live and be
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