great all week (hard work and sore muscles, but worth it). And as it turns out, Coach Reynolds is a Christian (I think that’s part of the reason Zach wanted us to come out for track); anyway, he’s a nice coach and really encouraging. And our little team is pretty good too (although I heard some of the kids are gone this week because of spring break). But I really feel like I’m fitting in with everyone on the team, and getting to know some new kids.
Nathan Parker (remember, my Valentine’s Dance date) is on the team too (he throws discus and shot put), and he actually said hi to me today. I said hi back, but nothing else. Not that I’m trying to be unfriendly, but somehow I don’t really care if I don’t have anything to do with that particular group of kids anymore. It’s like this big heavy weight has been lifted off me just knowing that I’ll never have to perform for those kids again. Let me tell you, it’s so much better just being myself and hanging with people like Beanie and Zach (especiallymore so now that I have a relationship with God—which keeps getting better, by the way!).
And things have even gotten better on the home front too. Tonight (of all things) my dad has actually invited my mom to go out on a date with him. Pretty funny. But she agreed, making no promises for anything more than just dinner. I’m glad she’s going though. I was starting to get worried that her resistance might actually push Dad straight into Belinda’s arms. The truth is, I’d like to see my family get back together, eventually. Even now, I’m working on forgiving Dad (although it’s not easy). He’s even called and talked to me a couple of times now where I haven’t actually hung up on him.
I thought about telling him that I became a Christian, but somehow I couldn’t do it. The timing didn’t seem right. But I will, eventually. Maybe I need to totally forgive him first. To be honest, I’m having a hard time with that. But like Zach keeps saying about track and stuff, “all things are possible with God.” (Actually I think he got that from the Bible, but it’s a good promise just the same!)
March 25, Sunday (last day of spring break)
I almost hate for spring break to end. It’s been so fun (and relaxing not having to be at school). But I think I’m a lot stronger and ready to face things again (Jenny et al). I feel like I’ve really grown this week and I think I can actually walk through the halls holding my head up (not in pride, but just without the old humiliation).
Okay, I’ll admit that it probably doesn’t hurt any that I just got my hair cut (and it looks pretty good—not that I think looks are that big of a deal!). My dad took Benjamin and me to the mall this afternoon (after church) and bought us some things. I got a few new items of clothing which might help bolster my confidence. But let me make this perfectly clear—I am not ever going to turn into that shallow girl I used to be! Still, it’s fun to look nice; and I’m pretty sure it’s not a sin. I mean, just look at all the beautiful green leaves and flowers starting to bloom around us and you have to know that God appreciates beauty too!
So, anyway, I’m ready to go to school with Jesus in my heart and a whole new outlook. And if I see Jenny and her bunch making fun of me, well, I’ll just smile their way and forgive them and keep minding my own business. Maybe someday I’ll even get a chance to tell them how God can make their lives a whole lot more fulfilling!
March 26, Monday (an unhappy discovery)
Just when I think my life has taken a huge turn for the better (and not to say things aren’t greatly improved with God in my life) it just figures that life can never be completely perfect. Still I’m determined that I am not going to let this get me down.
Okay, here’s what happened. After a fairly decent day (where I could actually walk down the halls without feeling like total scum, and telling myself that I belong to
Nathan Parker (remember, my Valentine’s Dance date) is on the team too (he throws discus and shot put), and he actually said hi to me today. I said hi back, but nothing else. Not that I’m trying to be unfriendly, but somehow I don’t really care if I don’t have anything to do with that particular group of kids anymore. It’s like this big heavy weight has been lifted off me just knowing that I’ll never have to perform for those kids again. Let me tell you, it’s so much better just being myself and hanging with people like Beanie and Zach (especiallymore so now that I have a relationship with God—which keeps getting better, by the way!).
And things have even gotten better on the home front too. Tonight (of all things) my dad has actually invited my mom to go out on a date with him. Pretty funny. But she agreed, making no promises for anything more than just dinner. I’m glad she’s going though. I was starting to get worried that her resistance might actually push Dad straight into Belinda’s arms. The truth is, I’d like to see my family get back together, eventually. Even now, I’m working on forgiving Dad (although it’s not easy). He’s even called and talked to me a couple of times now where I haven’t actually hung up on him.
I thought about telling him that I became a Christian, but somehow I couldn’t do it. The timing didn’t seem right. But I will, eventually. Maybe I need to totally forgive him first. To be honest, I’m having a hard time with that. But like Zach keeps saying about track and stuff, “all things are possible with God.” (Actually I think he got that from the Bible, but it’s a good promise just the same!)
March 25, Sunday (last day of spring break)
I almost hate for spring break to end. It’s been so fun (and relaxing not having to be at school). But I think I’m a lot stronger and ready to face things again (Jenny et al). I feel like I’ve really grown this week and I think I can actually walk through the halls holding my head up (not in pride, but just without the old humiliation).
Okay, I’ll admit that it probably doesn’t hurt any that I just got my hair cut (and it looks pretty good—not that I think looks are that big of a deal!). My dad took Benjamin and me to the mall this afternoon (after church) and bought us some things. I got a few new items of clothing which might help bolster my confidence. But let me make this perfectly clear—I am not ever going to turn into that shallow girl I used to be! Still, it’s fun to look nice; and I’m pretty sure it’s not a sin. I mean, just look at all the beautiful green leaves and flowers starting to bloom around us and you have to know that God appreciates beauty too!
So, anyway, I’m ready to go to school with Jesus in my heart and a whole new outlook. And if I see Jenny and her bunch making fun of me, well, I’ll just smile their way and forgive them and keep minding my own business. Maybe someday I’ll even get a chance to tell them how God can make their lives a whole lot more fulfilling!
March 26, Monday (an unhappy discovery)
Just when I think my life has taken a huge turn for the better (and not to say things aren’t greatly improved with God in my life) it just figures that life can never be completely perfect. Still I’m determined that I am not going to let this get me down.
Okay, here’s what happened. After a fairly decent day (where I could actually walk down the halls without feeling like total scum, and telling myself that I belong to
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