Beauty by Patria L. Dunn (Patria Dunn-Rowe) Page B

was a one— time thing… ? Of course it was! Just like stripping and coke… I t wasn’t going to happen again.
    Twenty minutes into our drive home Molly woke up, and then Madison, both of them just as bubbly and smiling as they’d been the night before. Having them awake and fully dressed again lessened the thick band of tension that see med to be separating Becca and me , and I finally relaxed a little. With my face turned towards the open window, I let the sun warm my skin as I listened to their idle chatter.
    Most of it was talk about the new girls Troy had brought on at the strip club, and the rest was about people I’d never even met. Somebody’s daughter ’s best friend had gotten pregnant by her sister’s boyfriend, and that’s where I got lost. For the res t of the drive , my mind, for the first time in days completely sober, tried to make sense of how this had all happened.
    I wasn’t that stripper who’d been on stage last night, displaying and then grabbing her private parts seductively for all to see. I wasn’t that junkie acting lunatic that had sniffed coke off the back of a public toilet just because she’d been told to do so. I wasn’t that skinny chic that had woken up in my bed with her deepest wish granted, but I knew I also wasn’t that fat girl I’d grown up as my entire life. At this point I wasn’t sure who I was, or who I was meant to be.
    The Sweet Spot parking lot was empty when we finally pulled in, its late night patrons long gone. Becca parked beside the only other car there, waiting for Madison and Molly to get out before she removed her sunglasses and looked at me directly.
    “Did I do something wrong…?” s he whispered, her hand closing over mine, her eyes searching my face.
    I still couldn’t look at her, my gaze instead fixed on the tiny flower shaped pendant she wore around her neck.
    “It’s…it’s not you,” I replied, my voice so low that I barely heard myself. “I’m just…confused I guess. Last night was…”
    “I enjoyed it… but …I’m not that way if that’s what you’re thinking,” Becca interrupted me, and I finally met her gaze .
    “You’re not…?” I breathed a little more easily now, spreading my fingers so that hers linked in mine.
    “No…I mean…being with a woman is a feeling that I’ll never forget, but…you were my first, and...I love men,” she shrugged, a tiny smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. “Is that what’s bothering you? You thought we were an item now or something because we…”
    “No! I mean. . .no,” I corrected, my voice softer that it had been at first. “I didn’t know what to think. Being with you… I’ve never experienced anything like that before. You made me feel…”
    I swallowed hard as the last word stuck in my throat. She was my friend…I could be honest with her right?
    “Loved…” I sighed in embarrassment, my eyes lowering once again.
    “That ’s how I felt too!” Becca whispered, her fingers squeezing mine now. “I’ve dated lots of guys, and none of them have made me feel t hat way. None of them have made love to me th e way you did last night. We were curious and now our curiosity is satisfied….right? I don’t know about you, but I’m still holding out hope for Mr. Right to come along any day now,” she laughed, her eyes rolling in exasperation.
    “And until then…?” I asked, laughing with her now.
    “Friends… ? ”she suggested, a coy smile on her face. “With benefits,” she added, ducking from the playful smack I gave her shoulder.
    “Kidding! Just kidding!” she held up her hands in surrender before retrieving the book that had fallen between the console and the seat.
    It was relief instead of dread that swept through me when she poured the last little bit of powder from the Ziplo c bag she’d stuffed in the glove box the night before. The dragon had been calling my name since I’d first opened my eyes , and I was ready for the chase . I just needed a