Beauty by Patria L. Dunn (Patria Dunn-Rowe) Page A

want to be the Debbie Downer of the bunch did I lower my head after the other three had finished, my right index finger once again pressing my right nostril closed as I inhaled hard and fast. Becca was smiling at me, singing along with the words, watching me as I sat back slowly, my head resting against the seat.
    Another mound of powder was poured, and once again the three of them went first, rubbing a bit on their gums before inhaling the rest quickly. I follow ed suit, my tongue and the inside of my cheeks tingling as I swallowed hard before inhaling my second line. Heaven…it had to feel like this.
    Everything that had happened over the last few days suddenly didn’t matter. My body was numb, my mind even more numb . My head emptied and I turned around to stare blatantly at the two girls kissing in the back. Their mouths seemed to move in slow motion, one pink, one red, the colors mixing to form crimson lip prints on the other’s skin. Becca was speaking but I couldn’t separate my gaze long enough to accurately use my hearing. Maybe this was how it was meant to be all along…women with women…men with men. I was suddenly curious.
    A tug on my arm felt disconnected, but I followed Becca in slow motion, opening the passenger side door and climbing out. The grass was cool beneath my bare feet, each blade caressing my toes as I walked behind her to the edge of the cliff, my arms stretched into the night. My face lifted to follo w her stare and I smiled back at the bright white Cheshire cat shaped grin pinned way up in the black sky. It was if it had been put there only for me. Becca wandered and I followed like a puppy, down into a thicket of trees that lay to our left.
    We were in our own little dark cocoon, her arms wrapping around my waist, pulling me down with her so that we both lay in a bed of pine needles. I faced her, our legs entwined and our bellies pressed together as if we’d done this our entire lives. My skin craved the touch of her fingertips on my face, and before I could ask, she reached. My breath held as she traced along the line of my chin, up to my cheek, and then across to my bottom lip. My mouth opened slightly and I exhaled as her soft mouth closed over mine.
    So this is what it felt like…kissing a girl. Warm, soft, pulling…her tongue pushed and I gave with a tiny moan, my hand crossing over to cup her lower back. Her lips trailed lower, and my hand moved higher, desperate to feel her skin beneath my fingertips . Is this how it feels to be loved…? If so…I liked it.
    She was on top of me now, her hips grinding against me so slowly that I could feel the wetness pooling in my borrowed bottoms. Her kisses became more needy, her teeth nicking and biting their way down my neck and to my partially exposed breasts. My mouth opened to protest. Did I want this…?
    Only a sigh escaped, the feel of her tiny finger s pushing my panties aside to part my sex multiplying my high times ten.
    Yes… Y es I did.
    **********
    I don’t know how long we lay there, our naked bodie s exposed to the world, but when my eyes drifted open I could see the first hints of dawn through the tree tops. I could also see the newly formed cellulite dimples that dotted my upper thighs. I dressed before waking Becca, my high long gone. I couldn’t look at her, so I walked ahead, letting her dress in private.
    Just because it feels good, doesn’t make it right…
    My mother’s words plagued me as I climbed quietly back in to the car, careful not to disturb the two naked strippers in the back. What had I done…?
    I’ d been raised in the Baptists faith my entire life, and the Bible was pretty clear on right and wrong when it came to homosexuality. Was it wrong…or was I ? What would my parents say if they knew what I’d been doing the last few days? What would they think?
    I didn’t speak as Becca climbed in the car, he r sunshades already hiding her bright green eyes from me. I didn’t know what to say. Last night