“ Corny, do you really think that’s a good idea?”
“Shush Brutus; and get your hairy Labrador butt off the bed, you’ll wake Steve up before I’m done putting the finishing touches on—day one of our week of Valentine’s Day celebration. Besides, what’s not to like about vanilla ice cream, whipping cream, nuts, chocolate syrup, and a nice maraschino cherry to top it all off?”
“Well, for one thing you’ve covered Steve’s dick with it and like you said he’s asleep.”
“When I came up with this brilliant idea to make Valentine’s Day last a whole week, instead of one day, I didn’t take into account that I have no imagination for romantic gifts. When I woke up yesterday and realized I’d ran out of time because Valentine’s Day is Friday; this is the best that I could come up with. And then I thought, ‘Hey, we both love sundaes and when he wakes up I’ll add the ice cream and make him very happy by licking and sucking the sundae off his dick’. What’s not to like about that?”
“I’ll reserve judgment until he wakes up. What other bright ideas did you come up with for the rest of the week?”
“Well, nothing yet and I’m waiting to see what Steve gives me. There’s always the possibility he’ll forget and then I don’t have to worry.”
“Sergeant Steve Spears forget something, oh that’s funny. That man remembers everything. You know, I want to point out again that Steve and his cop buddies got the bad guys, in spite of my brief momentary lapse, which wasn’t totally my fault. Sergeant Ken Loose shouldn’t have brought his Bitch—Gloria to my stake-out. Gloria’s scent distracted me, for god sake, she’s in heat. I only wandered away from Steve’s side for a second; I wanted to get a little sniff of her butt, I’m a dog, it’s what we do. In that split second all hell broke loose and Gloria got the drug scent instead of me. Now I’m benched until I can prove that I’m able to stay focused during a drug bust.”
“Listen Brutus, I promised Steve I’d keep my nose out of this mess. Last night he gave me the lowdown/lecture on what you’re supposed to do when you’re working and it didn’t include sniffing Gloria’s butt. Steve told me you’re a superior drug dog and you’re trained to use your sense of smell to detect illegal substances that we can’t see. When you detect drugs, you’re supposed to alert Steve, but this time you were off sniffing Gloria’s butt and she got the bust. Besides Brutus, that Bitch—Gloria outweighs you by a good thirty pounds and she’s a Mastiff. She walks around with her nose in the air like she’s royalty. Steve says you were chosen to be a drug sniffing dog because you’re the most intelligent, aggressive, strong, and have a keenest sense of smell he’s ever worked with. He needs you to take a little vacation and refocus. He thought a week working with me on a few pet retrievals might focus you.”
“Corny, can you explain exactly what you do when you go on a pet retrieval and why the heck you’re the only person I know who can understand me?”
“Well, it doesn’t look like he’ll be waking up anytime soon; guess that’s what twelve hours of work will do to you. I inherited -a psychic skill from my Great Aunt Harriet and I can communicate with all species of animals. I hear what animals are saying, as you’ve experienced, and they understand me. My first pet retrieval was a hamster named Fred, and I was a whopping twelve years old. After high school I got a job at Langfield Laboratories, as an Executive Assistant, to the CEO. My boss was mean spirited and didn’t appreciate my fondness for animals. I was babysitting my cousin’s ferret—Pete while she was on vacation and I quickly realized he had ferret Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), and needed constant attention or he’d act out in destructive ways, like stealing my underwear. I started — secretly bringing Pete into work and I’d let him torment my
“Shush Brutus; and get your hairy Labrador butt off the bed, you’ll wake Steve up before I’m done putting the finishing touches on—day one of our week of Valentine’s Day celebration. Besides, what’s not to like about vanilla ice cream, whipping cream, nuts, chocolate syrup, and a nice maraschino cherry to top it all off?”
“Well, for one thing you’ve covered Steve’s dick with it and like you said he’s asleep.”
“When I came up with this brilliant idea to make Valentine’s Day last a whole week, instead of one day, I didn’t take into account that I have no imagination for romantic gifts. When I woke up yesterday and realized I’d ran out of time because Valentine’s Day is Friday; this is the best that I could come up with. And then I thought, ‘Hey, we both love sundaes and when he wakes up I’ll add the ice cream and make him very happy by licking and sucking the sundae off his dick’. What’s not to like about that?”
“I’ll reserve judgment until he wakes up. What other bright ideas did you come up with for the rest of the week?”
“Well, nothing yet and I’m waiting to see what Steve gives me. There’s always the possibility he’ll forget and then I don’t have to worry.”
“Sergeant Steve Spears forget something, oh that’s funny. That man remembers everything. You know, I want to point out again that Steve and his cop buddies got the bad guys, in spite of my brief momentary lapse, which wasn’t totally my fault. Sergeant Ken Loose shouldn’t have brought his Bitch—Gloria to my stake-out. Gloria’s scent distracted me, for god sake, she’s in heat. I only wandered away from Steve’s side for a second; I wanted to get a little sniff of her butt, I’m a dog, it’s what we do. In that split second all hell broke loose and Gloria got the drug scent instead of me. Now I’m benched until I can prove that I’m able to stay focused during a drug bust.”
“Listen Brutus, I promised Steve I’d keep my nose out of this mess. Last night he gave me the lowdown/lecture on what you’re supposed to do when you’re working and it didn’t include sniffing Gloria’s butt. Steve told me you’re a superior drug dog and you’re trained to use your sense of smell to detect illegal substances that we can’t see. When you detect drugs, you’re supposed to alert Steve, but this time you were off sniffing Gloria’s butt and she got the bust. Besides Brutus, that Bitch—Gloria outweighs you by a good thirty pounds and she’s a Mastiff. She walks around with her nose in the air like she’s royalty. Steve says you were chosen to be a drug sniffing dog because you’re the most intelligent, aggressive, strong, and have a keenest sense of smell he’s ever worked with. He needs you to take a little vacation and refocus. He thought a week working with me on a few pet retrievals might focus you.”
“Corny, can you explain exactly what you do when you go on a pet retrieval and why the heck you’re the only person I know who can understand me?”
“Well, it doesn’t look like he’ll be waking up anytime soon; guess that’s what twelve hours of work will do to you. I inherited -a psychic skill from my Great Aunt Harriet and I can communicate with all species of animals. I hear what animals are saying, as you’ve experienced, and they understand me. My first pet retrieval was a hamster named Fred, and I was a whopping twelve years old. After high school I got a job at Langfield Laboratories, as an Executive Assistant, to the CEO. My boss was mean spirited and didn’t appreciate my fondness for animals. I was babysitting my cousin’s ferret—Pete while she was on vacation and I quickly realized he had ferret Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), and needed constant attention or he’d act out in destructive ways, like stealing my underwear. I started — secretly bringing Pete into work and I’d let him torment my
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