boss. One day Pete put a tack on my boss’s chair and when he sat down he squealed like a little girl. When my cousin came back and I didn’t have Pete to keep me entertained any longer I decided to enroll in the ‘Private Investigation Training Institute’ and got my Private Investigators degree and then opened up Green Hornet Investigations. I’ve been finding missing pets ever since. Hey, I think Steve’s waking up. Uh oh, crap he rolled over onto his stomach. This isn’t good, not good at all.”
“I told you so… I’m out of here while you explain the sticky mess all over the sheets.”
“Thanks for the moral support you mutt.”
“Corny, why is there something gooey and slightly gritty between my legs? Do I even want to look down there?”
“It’s your—day one—Valentine’s Day present but you smashed it when you rolled over. Sorry, it was going to be a chocolate sundae masterpiece.”
“You’re telling me my present was a sundae on my dick? Oh Corny, only you would think of something like that. What did you plan on doing with it when I woke up?”
“If you roll onto your back—I’ll show you stud muffin.”
~~~~~
“Whew, I don’t think you missed licking an inch of me down there. That was great, I love you and your tongue, in that order, thank you baby. I was going to wait until tonight to give you your present, but you deserve a reward for all that hard work. Let me take a shower and wash all the stray nuts off, ha ha, I’ll be right out.”
“I love you too Steve.”
“Brutus, did you grab the maraschino cherry off the bed. It was the only thing I couldn’t find in the bed sheets?”
“No offense, but ever since you moved in with Steve over Christmas you’ve been putting on the pounds; I thought you wouldn’t miss the cherry.”
“You think I’m getting fat? Does Steve talk about my fat butt at work?”
“Settle down, I was kidding. Steve loves your butt and everything else about you. Here he comes with a little box. I wonder what that could be.”
“Honey, I appreciate that thoughtful gift but I found a nut where a nut shouldn’t be. You get my drift?”
“Yes, sorry about that, but you weren’t supposed to roll over. I don’t have to be to work for another hour; I’ll change the sheets before I leave.”
“That would be great. Here’s your gift, it’s a lot less messy than yours, and I hope you like it.”
“Oh my gosh Steve, is this what I think it is? I saw this Tiffany’s turquoise box in a Cosmopolitan magazine last month. This isn’t a trick is it? People do that you know, they wrap something in a Nordstrom silver box and when you open it it’s a box of cheap chocolates from Walmart.”
“Open it and find out.”
“Oh Steve, I can’t believe Tiffany’s was able to make a charm size copy of my key. I love you and that’s sweet and thoughtful, thank you. But you do know I don’t have a charm bracelet right?”
“I love you to and there might be a bracelet in the near future for you. Since you had a copy made of the original key—to keep it shiny and new looking, why don’t you put the charm on that key ring for now?”
“Okay, that’ll work. Hey, why don’t I make dinner tonight; you can have steak and baked potato or steak and baked potato; your choice”
“Corny, have you ever thought about expanding you cooking repertoire beyond steak and baked potato?”
“Why mess with a good thing baby?”
“Okay, I’ve got to go, have fun with Brutus today.”
“Brutus, are you ready to go?”
“I still can’t believe Steve benched me. He didn’t even say goodbye before he left. How long is he going to stay mad at me?”
“Stop moaning and get in the car. I have a full day at the ahead and I don’t want you moping around all day.”
“Good morning Halo, what’s on my schedule for today?”
“Hi Corny, you have several retrievals today; your schedule’s on your desk. Hi there big boy, whose dog is this?”
“This is
“I told you so… I’m out of here while you explain the sticky mess all over the sheets.”
“Thanks for the moral support you mutt.”
“Corny, why is there something gooey and slightly gritty between my legs? Do I even want to look down there?”
“It’s your—day one—Valentine’s Day present but you smashed it when you rolled over. Sorry, it was going to be a chocolate sundae masterpiece.”
“You’re telling me my present was a sundae on my dick? Oh Corny, only you would think of something like that. What did you plan on doing with it when I woke up?”
“If you roll onto your back—I’ll show you stud muffin.”
~~~~~
“Whew, I don’t think you missed licking an inch of me down there. That was great, I love you and your tongue, in that order, thank you baby. I was going to wait until tonight to give you your present, but you deserve a reward for all that hard work. Let me take a shower and wash all the stray nuts off, ha ha, I’ll be right out.”
“I love you too Steve.”
“Brutus, did you grab the maraschino cherry off the bed. It was the only thing I couldn’t find in the bed sheets?”
“No offense, but ever since you moved in with Steve over Christmas you’ve been putting on the pounds; I thought you wouldn’t miss the cherry.”
“You think I’m getting fat? Does Steve talk about my fat butt at work?”
“Settle down, I was kidding. Steve loves your butt and everything else about you. Here he comes with a little box. I wonder what that could be.”
“Honey, I appreciate that thoughtful gift but I found a nut where a nut shouldn’t be. You get my drift?”
“Yes, sorry about that, but you weren’t supposed to roll over. I don’t have to be to work for another hour; I’ll change the sheets before I leave.”
“That would be great. Here’s your gift, it’s a lot less messy than yours, and I hope you like it.”
“Oh my gosh Steve, is this what I think it is? I saw this Tiffany’s turquoise box in a Cosmopolitan magazine last month. This isn’t a trick is it? People do that you know, they wrap something in a Nordstrom silver box and when you open it it’s a box of cheap chocolates from Walmart.”
“Open it and find out.”
“Oh Steve, I can’t believe Tiffany’s was able to make a charm size copy of my key. I love you and that’s sweet and thoughtful, thank you. But you do know I don’t have a charm bracelet right?”
“I love you to and there might be a bracelet in the near future for you. Since you had a copy made of the original key—to keep it shiny and new looking, why don’t you put the charm on that key ring for now?”
“Okay, that’ll work. Hey, why don’t I make dinner tonight; you can have steak and baked potato or steak and baked potato; your choice”
“Corny, have you ever thought about expanding you cooking repertoire beyond steak and baked potato?”
“Why mess with a good thing baby?”
“Okay, I’ve got to go, have fun with Brutus today.”
“Brutus, are you ready to go?”
“I still can’t believe Steve benched me. He didn’t even say goodbye before he left. How long is he going to stay mad at me?”
“Stop moaning and get in the car. I have a full day at the ahead and I don’t want you moping around all day.”
“Good morning Halo, what’s on my schedule for today?”
“Hi Corny, you have several retrievals today; your schedule’s on your desk. Hi there big boy, whose dog is this?”
“This is
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