had said things and heard things that I wanted to forget. Things that would haunt me for a long time. If I went to sleep sober I ran the risk of dreaming about Kari. I didn’t want to sleep. I wanted to be in an alcohol induced coma. I got wasted.
*****
It had been a few of days since Kari dumped me. Shit. Is that what happened? I tried to call her but she wouldn’t answer. I knew she wouldn’t. I would have been surprised if she did. This time was different. Her goodbye seemed like the real deal.
She was a world class bitch for kicking me when I was down. She took my heart and just threw it away. She kicked the shit out of me with her fluorescent green Nikes. Fuck you Kari Lynn fucking Fenderson!
My kids were spending a lot of time with my sister. I had unlocked the front door because Karen was on her way to my house to drop them back off at home. I appreciated all the help since Tess was away and I was mourning the loss of Kari. Plus I had started back to watching Uncle Jimmy.
Karen entered my house and my children came running in behind her.
“Hi dad, hi dad, hi dad.” That was all I heard.
Karen was carrying an Elmo backpack containing Matt and Tim’s clothing. Karen walked by me and placed the backpack on the floor by the living room couch.
“Bye kids!” Karen yelled.
“Bye Aunt Karen!” Matt, Tim and Hannah roared in jumbled unison as the trekked up the stairs.
Karen turned to leave without so much as a glance or word in my direction.
“Karen.” My sister didn’t respond and I knew she heard me. “Karen.”
This time she stopped moving long enough to look me dead on and the venom that sprayed from her eyes burned me deep.
“What Mason? What is it?”
“What’s your problem?”
Karen looked up the staircase to insure my children were out of hearing distance. “You are a friggin’ asshole.”
“What?”
“I know what you did.”
“What are you talking about?” I think I knew but I couldn’t see how Karen would have any clue what conspired between Kari and me. Plus why would she care?
“You broke her heart.” Kari whispered. “She thought you were leaving your wife to be with her. She’s not crazy. I know she didn’t make it up. I know you told her that. You are disgusting.”
“Why do you care? She is, was, my girlfriend. It’s none of your business.”
“She’s my friend.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
“She’s my friend. She called me when you broke her heart. She told me everything. You’re such a jerk.”
“What do you mean, she’s your friend?”
“I’m the one that sent her to help you. Now I feel like shit. You should have never told her those lies. You should have never told her you were leaving Tess. She loves you, you asshole.”
“Why would you befriend Kari ? Are you trying to fuck her?” Shit! Did I just say that? As soon as I said it I wished I could take it back. I was the only one in the family with the exception of Karen’s husband that knew she was bisexual. I wished I had never thrown it up in her face.
“I can’t believe you would say that to me. I’m glad mom is not alive to see what a friggin’ asshole you’ve become.”
I stopped breathing. Karen had slapped me hard with an insult that rival ed any I had to offer. The mention of our mother could bring me to my knees and Karen used that knowledge to mortally wound me. I felt like shit and I was trying so hard to conceal it. I had these choices to make and I made the one that I thought was right. I could not bear to be without my children and to leave them with Tess didn’t seem like a viable option.
“I’m sorry Karen.”
“Mason you are always sorry. Stop fucking up and then you won’t have anything to be sorry for.”
“I had to make a decision and I chose my family.” I was so tired of thinking about it. I didn’t even want to clarify it to my sister. I was trying to push Kari from my thoughts and here it is my sister is reminding me of the
*****
It had been a few of days since Kari dumped me. Shit. Is that what happened? I tried to call her but she wouldn’t answer. I knew she wouldn’t. I would have been surprised if she did. This time was different. Her goodbye seemed like the real deal.
She was a world class bitch for kicking me when I was down. She took my heart and just threw it away. She kicked the shit out of me with her fluorescent green Nikes. Fuck you Kari Lynn fucking Fenderson!
My kids were spending a lot of time with my sister. I had unlocked the front door because Karen was on her way to my house to drop them back off at home. I appreciated all the help since Tess was away and I was mourning the loss of Kari. Plus I had started back to watching Uncle Jimmy.
Karen entered my house and my children came running in behind her.
“Hi dad, hi dad, hi dad.” That was all I heard.
Karen was carrying an Elmo backpack containing Matt and Tim’s clothing. Karen walked by me and placed the backpack on the floor by the living room couch.
“Bye kids!” Karen yelled.
“Bye Aunt Karen!” Matt, Tim and Hannah roared in jumbled unison as the trekked up the stairs.
Karen turned to leave without so much as a glance or word in my direction.
“Karen.” My sister didn’t respond and I knew she heard me. “Karen.”
This time she stopped moving long enough to look me dead on and the venom that sprayed from her eyes burned me deep.
“What Mason? What is it?”
“What’s your problem?”
Karen looked up the staircase to insure my children were out of hearing distance. “You are a friggin’ asshole.”
“What?”
“I know what you did.”
“What are you talking about?” I think I knew but I couldn’t see how Karen would have any clue what conspired between Kari and me. Plus why would she care?
“You broke her heart.” Kari whispered. “She thought you were leaving your wife to be with her. She’s not crazy. I know she didn’t make it up. I know you told her that. You are disgusting.”
“Why do you care? She is, was, my girlfriend. It’s none of your business.”
“She’s my friend.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
“She’s my friend. She called me when you broke her heart. She told me everything. You’re such a jerk.”
“What do you mean, she’s your friend?”
“I’m the one that sent her to help you. Now I feel like shit. You should have never told her those lies. You should have never told her you were leaving Tess. She loves you, you asshole.”
“Why would you befriend Kari ? Are you trying to fuck her?” Shit! Did I just say that? As soon as I said it I wished I could take it back. I was the only one in the family with the exception of Karen’s husband that knew she was bisexual. I wished I had never thrown it up in her face.
“I can’t believe you would say that to me. I’m glad mom is not alive to see what a friggin’ asshole you’ve become.”
I stopped breathing. Karen had slapped me hard with an insult that rival ed any I had to offer. The mention of our mother could bring me to my knees and Karen used that knowledge to mortally wound me. I felt like shit and I was trying so hard to conceal it. I had these choices to make and I made the one that I thought was right. I could not bear to be without my children and to leave them with Tess didn’t seem like a viable option.
“I’m sorry Karen.”
“Mason you are always sorry. Stop fucking up and then you won’t have anything to be sorry for.”
“I had to make a decision and I chose my family.” I was so tired of thinking about it. I didn’t even want to clarify it to my sister. I was trying to push Kari from my thoughts and here it is my sister is reminding me of the
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