As Luck Would Have It by Mark Goldstein

Finance.  He will be moving to New York next month and begin reporting directly to Mr. Hammersmith on the Executive Committee. That came as an out-the-blue surprise; Mr. Finnernan never struck me as someone even close to executive management material.  But it wasn’t exactly bad news and he was definitely a nice enough guy, more than decent to me actually, all things considered, so great, we’ll miss him and all but good luck to him, right?  I started to calm down a little, but regrettably Mr. Hires ton was not finished and what he said next had nothing to do with business plans or profit margins or anything else that I could possibly absorb all at once.   I’m also proud to introduce Mr. Finnernan’s replacement, your new Regional Vice President, someone you have known for the past several years and should enjoy reporting to ; Tim McCarty .
    I nearly started to pee right there.  The coffee cup fell from my hand, but luckily the plastic lid stayed intact and only a little bit splashed onto Tim’s shoe, though he didn’t seem to notice or if he did, care one bit.  I didn’t move to pick it up; I couldn’t have even if I tried to, paralyzed as I was by the news.  A few people started clapping, others just stared ahead as Tim got up and rambled towards the front of the room, that is after his foot failed to miss my cup, causing it to completely crush and spill out whatever contents remained.  I was beginning to feel nauseated now, the convergence of so many elements culminating in some warped and sadistic way to this moment, which I never c ould have imagined or predicted.
    Tim was up there speaking now; my head swimming more and the pace of my queasiness escalating.  I heard him say something about structural reorganization and the need for commitment.  He had prepared a speech and had produced some index cards with notes on them.  Of course he had to know this was coming, but still he had sniffed around my office for clues about what I knew, for what reason I couldn’t dream up.  My head was hurting more as I tried to stay focused and steady myself, but when I stared directly at him, with his smug expression, his condescending dribble, and his irritating nasally voice, the spinning in my head worsened suddenly and I knew I had to get out of there and fast. 
    The room was crowded and I started walking over people, towards the only door and my singular escape, which was directly behind where the three of them were standing.  Excuse me, excuse me, was the best I could manage, until I was just about to the door when Tim reached out and grabbed my arm and said I’d have to wait until he was finished.  I tried to pull back and I made a weak effort to explain, but Tim was firm, and technically speaking was in charge now , and I’m sure in his mind, in his new capacity as our boss, he wanted to appear in control and show signs of power or confidence, but in reality he was making the first of what were to become many bad business decisions, though I can’t imagine that he would regret any of them more than this one.  In a final effort to mitigate the inevitable humiliation that would surely follow, I tried one more time to pull away, but an unwavering Tim jerked my arm harder, forcing my body close to his, at which point I caught a whiff of his foul breath and proceeded right then with a complete and total lack of grace or refinement to vomit all over him.

Eight
I Need to Know
    Although Aunt Doreen had objected decidedly to the presence of Mr. Casslemond, as it turned out, he was not going to be easily deterred.  Maybe when he first showed up his intention was just to eyeball me and satisfy himself that I was at functioning with at least some degree of normalcy, or perhaps it was to ease what was certainly a tremendous amount of guilt in some yet to be seen way.  But after our first meeting, he made it clear that he wanted to stay in touch, visit perhaps, and get to know each other better, that is if I was