amazing.”
And as I’m walking out the door I realize that’s like the second time she’s ever said that to me.
Eighteen
Everything at school is different now. After just a few days of hanging with Kristi, Kayla, and Jen Jen, all the cute guys flirt with me, and people who I don’t even know, know me. It’s almost like being a celebrity or something, and now I get why everyone wants it so bad.
It’s because it makes you feel so good.
But it’s weird in Art. I mean, now that I no longer hang with Mason and Jas, and I’m involved in things they’re not part of, it’s like we don’t really have the same interests anymore, and there’s definitely some awkward moments. I could be wrong, but the other day I was doodling in my notebook, and when I looked up I caught Jas staring at me. And even after I smiled, and made a face, he still kept staring. So I looked away.
I know, you probably think the staring should make me happy, like mission accomplished, right? Because originally I was hoping that my makeover would get his attention—and obviously it has.
But it was almost like that stare contained something other than admiration. Like maybe even the
opposite
of admiration. And that’s something I really don’t want to know about.
And that’s why I looked away.
After school if we don’t go to the mall, then we usually all go to Kristi’s and hang in her room. Sometimes we drink, but mostly we just play around on her computer, making up fake screen names, andsending nasty e-mails to people we don’t like, and stuff. I know that probably sounds really mean, but it’s not like I’m doing it, too. I mean, I mostly just sit there and watch them do it.
But on this one day, we were all in her room and Kristi said, “You guys, check it out.” She was pointing at her computer, and cracking up.
On the screen was this picture of Mason. It was black and white and kind of blurry, and she looked all frozen and stiffly posed, like it was taken from the yearbook or something. Next to the picture were the numbers 2.5.
“Oh, my god, two point five? How embarrassing.” Kayla laughed.
“What is that?” I asked, moving toward the screen to get a closer look.
“It’s just this site where you submit your picture so people can rate how hot you are,” Jen Jen explained.
“Look, someone rated her a zero!” Kristi was laughing so hard she was doubled-over. “She should just crawl into a hole and die!”
“Why would she put her picture on there?” I asked, totally not getting it.
Kristi rolled her eyes. “She didn’t, Einstein. I
did.
”
I peered at the screen again. “That’s pretty mean,” I said, immediately regretting it, since last time I stuck up for Mason, it didn’t go over so well.
Kayla and Jen Jen looked down at the ground, but Kristi just laughed and said, “You know what, Brazil? You’re absolutely right. That
was
really mean. ‘Cause this is a site for
straight people.
I should have put her on a lesbo site, then she might have scored higher.”
Then they all bust out laughing, like it was the funniest thing ever. So I started laughing, too. I mean, it’s not like Mason tries to be nice to us. She barely even talks to me anymore, it’s like she thinks she’s too arty and deep for me now. And if you think about it, that’s just total snobbery.
Well, today it’s just Kristi and me, since for some reason she didn’t invite Jen Jen and Kayla. And it was really weird ‘cause when we were all walking toward the student lot after school, Kayla said, “Jen and I will follow you guys, okay?”
And as Kristi slid into the driver’s seat she said, “Not today.”
“Oh. Do you guys have plans?” Kayla asked, her eyes full of suspicion.
“I’m just gonna drop Rio off. I’ll call you later,” Kristi said, starting her engine, and waving good-bye.
But she didn’t drop me off. Instead, she drives straight to her house, parks in her six-car garage, opens the door, and says,
C. J. Cherryh
Learning to Kill: Stories
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Brenda Sinclair
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