idiot requesting my name. Maybe Iâll just make up a name. . . . My name is Pain and Humiliation. Thatâs it, good olâ Pain and Humiliation Foss. My friends just call me Misery for short.
Oh no, you donât need to apologize. Iâm sure youâve had a hard day and having to tow that heavy bag of yours around has got to be tiring. . . .
Hard day? Iâll give you a hard day . . . my day! Now that is a hard day. Five stops between Chicago and Indianapolis, airplanes of people just like this jackass. And Iâve got to do the same thing tomorrow and the next day, too. This is one of the worst trips Iâve ever had in my life, and I just wanted to bear down and get it over with. There I was just trying to do my job . . . serve the Cokes and pick up the garbage, and now suddenly he walks into my life asking me to make him a gin and tonic and stow his bag and give him my name. What did I ever do to deserve this? All I want is a simple life: to do my job, go home, hide under the covers, and watch television until my next god-awful trip. Is that expecting too much out of life? I think not. So why is it that I am constantly subjected to encounters with such utter fools? Why me?
Tonight? Well, Iâm flattered, but I have an early pickup in the morning and I . . .
God, I hate my life. I donât think I can take much more of this. We havenât even left the ground and heâs already asking me out. Next thing you know heâll be inquiring about the Mile High Club.
Who me? What do I do for fun?
Oh, I like to spend time talking to people like you, trying to figure out ways to get out of situations like this. Another fun thing is watching TV. Yep, I watch a lot of TV. It meets all of my emotional needs. Nothing like sitting down by yourself in front of the tube with the dog, a bottle of wine, and a big plate of pasta on a Saturday night. My favorite shows are Cops, Jenny Jones, and wrestling. Oh, Iâm a big wrestling fan. I would go out on more dates with eligible men like yourself, but there are just so many fabulous programs that I canât afford to miss. Another thing I like to do for fun is the laundry . . . now that is some serious fun! Itâs more fun than sitting through an evening with someone like you, Iâm sure.
Oh, really? One of the best restaurants in Flint. No I canât say that Iâve ever been there.
Oh, I donât think I can, but youâre so nice to offer. Oh yes, Iâm sure thereâs a lot of great nightlife there, but I really have to get to bed early tonight because I have to wake up at 7:00 A.M . Oh, arenât you funny, you wonât take no for an answer. . . .
Oh, heâs funny all right. Funny as a crutch. I canât recall the last time I met someone so funny or so debonairâusually you have to be at a trailer park or a bowling alley to meet someone of his status. Well, I imagine heâll keep pestering me until I agree to go to the finest restaurant in Flint with him. Maybe if Iâm lucky Iâll injure myself in the galley, you know slip on the floor and break my neck, and then I wouldnât have to go. I could just tell him Iâm busy with my broken neck and have to spend the night in the finest hospital in Flint instead. He couldnât expect me to go out to dinner with a broken neck.
Youâre right about that, a girl does have to eat. I guess as long as Iâm back by a reasonable hour . . . oh well, why not? I accept away, sir. Charlie? OK, Charlie. Oh, me too. Iâm really looking forward to it.
Iâm looking forward to it about as much as Iâm looking forward to paying my taxes or getting a root canal. Oh, I probably deserve this. Somewhere in the past I must have done some dreadful act for which I am now being punished. The agony of it! I must remember this feeling; perhaps Iâll be able to use it in my acting work. Maybe someday Iâll have to play a character who is
Oh no, you donât need to apologize. Iâm sure youâve had a hard day and having to tow that heavy bag of yours around has got to be tiring. . . .
Hard day? Iâll give you a hard day . . . my day! Now that is a hard day. Five stops between Chicago and Indianapolis, airplanes of people just like this jackass. And Iâve got to do the same thing tomorrow and the next day, too. This is one of the worst trips Iâve ever had in my life, and I just wanted to bear down and get it over with. There I was just trying to do my job . . . serve the Cokes and pick up the garbage, and now suddenly he walks into my life asking me to make him a gin and tonic and stow his bag and give him my name. What did I ever do to deserve this? All I want is a simple life: to do my job, go home, hide under the covers, and watch television until my next god-awful trip. Is that expecting too much out of life? I think not. So why is it that I am constantly subjected to encounters with such utter fools? Why me?
Tonight? Well, Iâm flattered, but I have an early pickup in the morning and I . . .
God, I hate my life. I donât think I can take much more of this. We havenât even left the ground and heâs already asking me out. Next thing you know heâll be inquiring about the Mile High Club.
Who me? What do I do for fun?
Oh, I like to spend time talking to people like you, trying to figure out ways to get out of situations like this. Another fun thing is watching TV. Yep, I watch a lot of TV. It meets all of my emotional needs. Nothing like sitting down by yourself in front of the tube with the dog, a bottle of wine, and a big plate of pasta on a Saturday night. My favorite shows are Cops, Jenny Jones, and wrestling. Oh, Iâm a big wrestling fan. I would go out on more dates with eligible men like yourself, but there are just so many fabulous programs that I canât afford to miss. Another thing I like to do for fun is the laundry . . . now that is some serious fun! Itâs more fun than sitting through an evening with someone like you, Iâm sure.
Oh, really? One of the best restaurants in Flint. No I canât say that Iâve ever been there.
Oh, I donât think I can, but youâre so nice to offer. Oh yes, Iâm sure thereâs a lot of great nightlife there, but I really have to get to bed early tonight because I have to wake up at 7:00 A.M . Oh, arenât you funny, you wonât take no for an answer. . . .
Oh, heâs funny all right. Funny as a crutch. I canât recall the last time I met someone so funny or so debonairâusually you have to be at a trailer park or a bowling alley to meet someone of his status. Well, I imagine heâll keep pestering me until I agree to go to the finest restaurant in Flint with him. Maybe if Iâm lucky Iâll injure myself in the galley, you know slip on the floor and break my neck, and then I wouldnât have to go. I could just tell him Iâm busy with my broken neck and have to spend the night in the finest hospital in Flint instead. He couldnât expect me to go out to dinner with a broken neck.
Youâre right about that, a girl does have to eat. I guess as long as Iâm back by a reasonable hour . . . oh well, why not? I accept away, sir. Charlie? OK, Charlie. Oh, me too. Iâm really looking forward to it.
Iâm looking forward to it about as much as Iâm looking forward to paying my taxes or getting a root canal. Oh, I probably deserve this. Somewhere in the past I must have done some dreadful act for which I am now being punished. The agony of it! I must remember this feeling; perhaps Iâll be able to use it in my acting work. Maybe someday Iâll have to play a character who is
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