An Inconvenient Elephant by Judy Reene Singer

outfit, because you should know, the first rule of the jungle is blending in.”
    Diamond just shrugged and looked around the room at the various customers. “I’d blend in better if I put on about fifty pounds.” But she wolfed down two egg sandwiches, then sniffed disdainfully at her coffee before draining her cup. “Is American coffee always this weak?”
    I sniffed at my own coffee. “I thought it was too strong.”
    She got up and returned with two more cups. “Quantity over quality,” she said ruefully before settling into her chair. “So why don’t you just start things up again?”
    â€œYou mean with Tom?” I shook my head and stared intomy coffee. “It ended badly. We weren’t even talking. There’d be no reason for me to contact him again.”
    â€œOf course you have a reason,” Diamond said. “Grisha will have told him by now that you were in Zim. Even a small seed can grow a whole cotton tree, you know.”
    I gave her a blank look. “Meaning?”
    â€œYou may not need more than that to get him interested in you again.” She leaned forward and cupped her chin in her hands. “I’m good at fixing things. I would call him straightaway and tell him that you’re home and you need to speak to him.”
    I laughed at the idea of anyone fixing what was broken between Tom and me. I rolled up the wrappings from her breakfast and then mine, then wiped the crumbs away with my napkin, then my little area of the table, then wiped my fingers. I am obsessively neat. When I was growing up, Reese used to call me a neat freak, though after a while, he dropped the word “neat.” I made sure everything was in order before I answered Diamond.
    â€œWhat would I say?” I asked.
    â€œTell him we’re sorry about the planes not working out, but that we’ve pretty much solved the problem with Tusker all by ourselves.”
    â€œBut we haven’t solved the problem. We’ve only created another problem—now we need a lot of money.” It occurred to me that this was a recurring theme with Diamond, solving problems by creating new ones.
    â€œBut he’s rich,” she said. “Rich men know how to make money. He can give you advice. Rich men love to give advice on making money. Most of it is useless, but you’ll have him back in your life before you know it.”
    I looked up at her. “You really think so?”
    â€œOf course! A man does not wander far from where his corn is roasting!” she said triumphantly. “Once he finds out that all we need to do is raise money to bring the elephants here, he won’t be able to resist getting involved!”
    Â 
    I didn’t tell Diamond that I was positive Tom wouldn’t even take a phone call from me since his last words were “You’ve made your choice and picked the elephants. Now I make my choice. I pick a life without you.”
    Thereby adding himself to my ever-increasing collection of exes.
    I sighed. There is nothing so pathetic as owning the Complete Anthology of Exes. It might even be a winning poker hand.
    Definitely a royal flush.
    Of the toilet.
    Â 
    I was driving us to my next stop, when Diamond brought it up again.
    â€œCall him and ask him for advice,” she said. “We’re going to need all the help we can get.”
    â€œLet me think it over,” I said. “Maybe there’s some way I can get a message to him without actually calling him directly.”
    â€œWell, do it straightaway,” she urged. “We have less than two months.”
    â€œI will,” I promised. “But right now, I need to see my ex-horse.”
    â€œ Ex -horse?”
    â€œHe’s not mine anymore,” I said. “I gave him to Reese’s wife. He’s living in my ex-barn, which is the same old barn he’s always lived in. I just don’t own it anymore.”
    â€œLet me get