compliments me.
I feel like the biggest fucking fraud. Everyone thinks that I’m handling everything so well and really keeping it together when I’m actually fucking my best friend’s brother, or was, and really haven’t even thought about my mother since Knox invaded my brain. Yeah, I’m a real poster child for grief. More like a poster child for most horrible and dysfunctional human being.
“I’m really not that strong,” I counter, realizing that it hasn’t even been twenty-four hours since I was with Knox and I was already fantasizing about him touching me again.
“I really like you, Ripley,” Tate says, startling me.
“I like you, too, Tate,” I say, wishing I could get back what I felt for him just a few weeks ago. We could start dating, I’d forget all about Knox, and life would get back to normal except for the fact that my perfect mother is six feet under.
“Maybe we could go out some time,” he offers nervously.
“I start working at Mozzarella tonight so I’m going to be really busy.”
“Oh, okay,” he says, sounding dejected.
Jesus, I’ve lost all social etiquette. I just basically blew off the guy I’ve been drooling over forever. “I didn’t mean it like that, Tate. I would like to go out with you, I just know I’m going to be busy.”
He perks up as I try to half-way redeem myself. “I could always come in and see you,” he offers.
Oh, yes, because that’s exactly what I need . I think I’ve kept it together pretty well the last few weeks but putting Knox and Tate together might just ignite the powder keg fuse I feel like I’ve been dragging around since Mom died. “Why don’t you let me get my bearings first? I don’t want to dump a pitcher of pop in your lap or anything.”
“Okay,” he agrees, but doesn’t look happy. “But you promise we’ll do something together soon?”
I nod to appease him even though I know I’ll probably just end up blowing him off.
It’s almost like he really likes me. At first, I just thought it was pity but now I get the feeling that he truly does want to be with me. Nothing like feast or famine.
******
“In our down time, we bundle silverware. It isn’t rocket science, just roll a knife and a fork into a paper napkin and drop it in this tub.” Natalie gestures to an overflowing tub of paper napkin-wrapped silverware.
“Our menu is pretty basic; just breadsticks, cheese breadsticks, thin-crust pizza, salad, and soda. You just need to memorize the salad dressings, the sodas, and the pizza ingredients and you’re golden. You’ll know it all by the end of the day,” she says matter-of-factly.
I wish I could feel half the confidence that she seems to have in me. My stomach is in knots, terrified I’ll screw up. “Are Tuesday’s busy?” I ask, timidly.
“Just carryout, but Knox is off tonight so we’ll mostly be prepping pizzas. Dine-in should be chill so I’ll probably let you handle it and just shadow you. You’ll be fine, I swear,” she says, her phone buzzing insistently. She winks at me then disappears down the hallway to the restroom.
I know I should be more focused on the fact that Knox isn’t here. I know this is probably a good thing so I can focus on learning what I’m supposed to be doing but the disappointment settling over me is overwhelming. I almost cry realizing that I won’t see him tonight. How in the world did I think I would ever be able to just think of him as a friend after everything we’ve been through?
I try as hard as I can to push him out of my mind. I concentrate on balancing the empty tray on my palm, trying to figure out how in the world I’m going to manage it with a pitcher of pop and glasses full of ice when I can barely balance it empty. Hopefully this is one of those acquired skills that you just have to practice a lot.
I glance around the pizza place while trying to balance the tray on my palm. I’ve always loved it here. The adorable red-and-white-checkered
I feel like the biggest fucking fraud. Everyone thinks that I’m handling everything so well and really keeping it together when I’m actually fucking my best friend’s brother, or was, and really haven’t even thought about my mother since Knox invaded my brain. Yeah, I’m a real poster child for grief. More like a poster child for most horrible and dysfunctional human being.
“I’m really not that strong,” I counter, realizing that it hasn’t even been twenty-four hours since I was with Knox and I was already fantasizing about him touching me again.
“I really like you, Ripley,” Tate says, startling me.
“I like you, too, Tate,” I say, wishing I could get back what I felt for him just a few weeks ago. We could start dating, I’d forget all about Knox, and life would get back to normal except for the fact that my perfect mother is six feet under.
“Maybe we could go out some time,” he offers nervously.
“I start working at Mozzarella tonight so I’m going to be really busy.”
“Oh, okay,” he says, sounding dejected.
Jesus, I’ve lost all social etiquette. I just basically blew off the guy I’ve been drooling over forever. “I didn’t mean it like that, Tate. I would like to go out with you, I just know I’m going to be busy.”
He perks up as I try to half-way redeem myself. “I could always come in and see you,” he offers.
Oh, yes, because that’s exactly what I need . I think I’ve kept it together pretty well the last few weeks but putting Knox and Tate together might just ignite the powder keg fuse I feel like I’ve been dragging around since Mom died. “Why don’t you let me get my bearings first? I don’t want to dump a pitcher of pop in your lap or anything.”
“Okay,” he agrees, but doesn’t look happy. “But you promise we’ll do something together soon?”
I nod to appease him even though I know I’ll probably just end up blowing him off.
It’s almost like he really likes me. At first, I just thought it was pity but now I get the feeling that he truly does want to be with me. Nothing like feast or famine.
******
“In our down time, we bundle silverware. It isn’t rocket science, just roll a knife and a fork into a paper napkin and drop it in this tub.” Natalie gestures to an overflowing tub of paper napkin-wrapped silverware.
“Our menu is pretty basic; just breadsticks, cheese breadsticks, thin-crust pizza, salad, and soda. You just need to memorize the salad dressings, the sodas, and the pizza ingredients and you’re golden. You’ll know it all by the end of the day,” she says matter-of-factly.
I wish I could feel half the confidence that she seems to have in me. My stomach is in knots, terrified I’ll screw up. “Are Tuesday’s busy?” I ask, timidly.
“Just carryout, but Knox is off tonight so we’ll mostly be prepping pizzas. Dine-in should be chill so I’ll probably let you handle it and just shadow you. You’ll be fine, I swear,” she says, her phone buzzing insistently. She winks at me then disappears down the hallway to the restroom.
I know I should be more focused on the fact that Knox isn’t here. I know this is probably a good thing so I can focus on learning what I’m supposed to be doing but the disappointment settling over me is overwhelming. I almost cry realizing that I won’t see him tonight. How in the world did I think I would ever be able to just think of him as a friend after everything we’ve been through?
I try as hard as I can to push him out of my mind. I concentrate on balancing the empty tray on my palm, trying to figure out how in the world I’m going to manage it with a pitcher of pop and glasses full of ice when I can barely balance it empty. Hopefully this is one of those acquired skills that you just have to practice a lot.
I glance around the pizza place while trying to balance the tray on my palm. I’ve always loved it here. The adorable red-and-white-checkered
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