Amelia O’Donohue Is So Not a Virgin

Amelia O’Donohue Is So Not a Virgin by Helen Fitzgerald

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Authors: Helen Fitzgerald
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have to stand on my bed for the cheek-slap and nose-pull.
    I’d listen as she sprayed perfume, changed clothes, and then I’d do everything in my power to stop people from going out on the fire escape or entering her room.
    After a while, she stopped asking me to guard her room. Shefelt confident, I suppose, as no one had tried to find her after the first few times I stopped them.
    I’d snuck peeks several times and knew they’d been going all the way for some time now.
    And she’d put on weight. “It’s the stodge they feed us,” she’d say. “I’m on a carrot diet! Anyways, shut up, like, who are you to talk? You’re hardly catwalk material yourself.”
    Come to think of it, I’d heard her vomit in the loos a while back. When I asked her later if she was feeling all right, she was like, “None of your business, stalker!”
    Oh, and I’d heard her crying last Sunday. When I asked her what was wrong, she was like, “Piss off!”
    Could be her.
    Probably was her.
    The bell rang. I watched the girls head back into the dorm building, taking note of anything unusual. There were pale girls, tired-looking girls, worried-looking girls. There was Amelia O’Donohue. I listened as she came into her room, turned her music on, and changed out of her uniform. I heard Taahnya knock, come in, and whisper something. Eventually, they both left. I stood on my bed to look into her room. Her bed was unmade. Her desk was a mess. Her clothes were strewn all over the floor. Unable to see any incriminatingevidence, I climbed over the wall, landing on her bed harder than I’d anticipated.
    In her cupboards were clothes and more clothes.
    In her drawers were bags and bags of chocolate Flakes and licorice all sorts and five large bars of Cadbury’s dairy milk chocolate and peanut butter and actual butter and four loaves of crusty bread, one of which had been disemboweled so it was only a crust now. There were underpants (lacy, frilly, see-through…) and a stethoscope!
    In her toilet bag was an unopened, untouched , packet of tampons.
    In her handbag were lipsticks and eyeliners.
    On her desk was a diary…
    Footsteps. I jumped back over the wall so fast I surprised myself, and huddled in bed, frightened…
    …with Amelia O’Donohue’s secret diary in my hot little hands.

CHAPTER
FOURTEEN
    Dear diary,
    Friends:
    Rachel Ross (though I wouldn’t admit this to anyone but you, diary. She’s a bit of a Keener, but the only trustworthy person in the whole entire school)
    Mandy Grogan (dumb, but fun)
    Louisa MacDonald (Brain, but funny)
    Enemies:
    Tanya Nairn (keep ’em close)
    Sluts:
    Tanya Nairn (She denies it, but I know for a fact she had an abortion last year)
    Boyfriends:
    Piers Watson-McInerney
    Secrets:
See above re Tanya Nairn—Whose was it: John McDonald or William Collier?
2. I am in love with Piers Watson-McInerney.
I’m going to move in with him in three months time!
I can’t write this last secret down. I haven’t even told Rachel.
    Amelia was calling to me. I slammed her diary shut, pulled my head out from under the duvet, and said “Yeah?”
    “Tonight at 10:00?”
    She hadn’t asked me to watch out for ages. “Why?” I asked.
    She opened my door. I hid her diary under the sheets just in time.
    “God, you look bloody awful,” she said.
    “You’re always really mean, Amelia. Why should I?” I wouldn’t usually question her like this. But in her diary she said I was her friend. If so, why did she treat me like dog crap?
    “Rachel…Rachel…You know why. Because if you don’t I’ll make your life hell.”
    “I don’t care if you make my life hell. I really don’t care.”
    “Oh, please, Rachel. The matrons are onto the smoking. They’re checking the fire escapes each night. I’m sorry I’ve been nasty. I really am. Mum says it’s my default position. It’s just what I do. Plus that Mandy Grogan gets me going. She’s got it in for you. It’s hard not to get involved, you know. I’m weak.

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