and so screwed-up that she could just go on as if nothing had ever happened.
• • •
When I got back to my room, the light of the baby monitor was flashing. I tiptoed downstairs with a saucepan of hot water. The television room was dark and quiet. Some girls were snoring. Some were giggling. I snuck in the darkroom, locked it behind me, fed the thing some warm milk, changed its nappy, and looked into its eyes.
He didn’t look anything like Amelia O’Donohue, this boyI’d named Sam. His eyes were blue. At first I thought this was strange, as Amelia and Piers both had brown eyes, but then I remembered that most newborns have blue eyes at first. It seemed sad that they would change, as blue eyes suited this baby somehow. Shiny little eyes that looked hard into mine. I had to go.
Amelia was still outside on the fire escape. I opened my window and took a look. jesus, wouldn’t that hurt? She was unbelievable. I couldn’t help but yell at her.
“Amelia, come in here now!”
A few moments later my door flew open.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” she asked. “Who do you think you are?”
“I’m your friend and you need help.”
“My friend! Hardly …And you’re making a mountain out of a molehill,” she said.
“A molehill?” I whispered, moving towards her angrily. “You’ve just given birth and you call it a molehill?”
“What?”
“Your baby needs you,” I said.
“What are you talking about?”
“Amelia. You’re confused. Remember our talk? I know all about it. I know everything. He’s in the darkroom.”
“Who?”
“The baby. Your baby.”
“Rachel, are you mad?”
“Are you? ”
“I asked you first,” she said.
“No. I found your baby. In the linen cupboard.”
“It’s the medication. What are you on? Has the studying gotten to you?”
“It’s not yours?” I asked.
“It’s not anybody’s, Rachel. It doesn’t exist.”
“Right, come with me,” I said, grabbing her hand and dragging her to the second floor.
We’d almost reached the darkroom when Taahnya caught us. She was sneaking into the television room.
“Hey, Amelia, what are you doing?”
“Nothing,” we both said at the same time.
“ All the Boys Love Mandy Lane’ s on. You wanna watch? Or we could watch CSI if you’d rather.”
“Maybe later,” Amelia said.
“Yeah, maybe later,” I said.
“Not you, retard,” Taahnya said to me, one half of her lip curled so spectacularly that it almost touched her nostril. She shut the television door behind her.
I checked the hall. With no one in sight, I unlocked the door of the darkroom.
Once locked inside, I opened the cupboard door, turned on my flashlight and shone it at little Sam, lying there, eyes open, gurgling happily on his towel.
Thud.
Amelia had responded in the same way I had. I waved her unconscious face with my hand, slapping her cheek gently.
“Amelia! Amelia!”
She opened her eyes and stared at me for a second before the image flew back at her and she sat upright.
“What the fudge! There’s a baby in the cupboard!”
“It’s really not yours?”
“NO!”
“Then why did you tell me it was?”
“I didn’t. I’m bulimic, idiot. I barf after dinner.”
“So…if it’s not yours…”
We both looked down at the little one, our faces huge against his. I’m sure he smiled at me.
“…then whose is it?”
“We have to tell Miss Rose,” Amelia said.
“But the poor thing. Don’t you think whoever the mother is might need someone to talk to first? What if she’s terrified?What if they take him from her? What if they send her to jail? Shouldn’t we try and help her?”
“But she might be really sick.”
“Tell you what,” I said. “Let’s see if we can find her tonight. One night. If we can’t, we’ll tell the teachers after assembly. Long as we know the baby’s safe, and that no one’s bleeding to death in the dorms, then there’s no danger, is there? Just imagine how scared she
• • •
When I got back to my room, the light of the baby monitor was flashing. I tiptoed downstairs with a saucepan of hot water. The television room was dark and quiet. Some girls were snoring. Some were giggling. I snuck in the darkroom, locked it behind me, fed the thing some warm milk, changed its nappy, and looked into its eyes.
He didn’t look anything like Amelia O’Donohue, this boyI’d named Sam. His eyes were blue. At first I thought this was strange, as Amelia and Piers both had brown eyes, but then I remembered that most newborns have blue eyes at first. It seemed sad that they would change, as blue eyes suited this baby somehow. Shiny little eyes that looked hard into mine. I had to go.
Amelia was still outside on the fire escape. I opened my window and took a look. jesus, wouldn’t that hurt? She was unbelievable. I couldn’t help but yell at her.
“Amelia, come in here now!”
A few moments later my door flew open.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” she asked. “Who do you think you are?”
“I’m your friend and you need help.”
“My friend! Hardly …And you’re making a mountain out of a molehill,” she said.
“A molehill?” I whispered, moving towards her angrily. “You’ve just given birth and you call it a molehill?”
“What?”
“Your baby needs you,” I said.
“What are you talking about?”
“Amelia. You’re confused. Remember our talk? I know all about it. I know everything. He’s in the darkroom.”
“Who?”
“The baby. Your baby.”
“Rachel, are you mad?”
“Are you? ”
“I asked you first,” she said.
“No. I found your baby. In the linen cupboard.”
“It’s the medication. What are you on? Has the studying gotten to you?”
“It’s not yours?” I asked.
“It’s not anybody’s, Rachel. It doesn’t exist.”
“Right, come with me,” I said, grabbing her hand and dragging her to the second floor.
We’d almost reached the darkroom when Taahnya caught us. She was sneaking into the television room.
“Hey, Amelia, what are you doing?”
“Nothing,” we both said at the same time.
“ All the Boys Love Mandy Lane’ s on. You wanna watch? Or we could watch CSI if you’d rather.”
“Maybe later,” Amelia said.
“Yeah, maybe later,” I said.
“Not you, retard,” Taahnya said to me, one half of her lip curled so spectacularly that it almost touched her nostril. She shut the television door behind her.
I checked the hall. With no one in sight, I unlocked the door of the darkroom.
Once locked inside, I opened the cupboard door, turned on my flashlight and shone it at little Sam, lying there, eyes open, gurgling happily on his towel.
Thud.
Amelia had responded in the same way I had. I waved her unconscious face with my hand, slapping her cheek gently.
“Amelia! Amelia!”
She opened her eyes and stared at me for a second before the image flew back at her and she sat upright.
“What the fudge! There’s a baby in the cupboard!”
“It’s really not yours?”
“NO!”
“Then why did you tell me it was?”
“I didn’t. I’m bulimic, idiot. I barf after dinner.”
“So…if it’s not yours…”
We both looked down at the little one, our faces huge against his. I’m sure he smiled at me.
“…then whose is it?”
“We have to tell Miss Rose,” Amelia said.
“But the poor thing. Don’t you think whoever the mother is might need someone to talk to first? What if she’s terrified?What if they take him from her? What if they send her to jail? Shouldn’t we try and help her?”
“But she might be really sick.”
“Tell you what,” I said. “Let’s see if we can find her tonight. One night. If we can’t, we’ll tell the teachers after assembly. Long as we know the baby’s safe, and that no one’s bleeding to death in the dorms, then there’s no danger, is there? Just imagine how scared she
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