After the Ex Games by J. S. Cooper, Helen Cooper

reason I went home with her. That’s the only reason I stayed close with her all those years. I wanted to make sure you were okay. I needed to see you. You were my daughter.” His voice cracked, and the room was silent again as we all just sat there.
    “I still am,” I said softly and stood up. “I’m sorry for all the pain I’ve caused, but you broke my mother. Do you know how weird it feels to say that? She was my sister, but she’s really my mother. And my father was my grandfather and you’re my dad. Do you know how fucked up I feel right now?”
    “I don’t know what to say.” Brandon made a face. “I’m sorry.”
    “Don’t you get it? Sorry isn’t good enough.” I started crying then—big, hard, ugly tears. “How could you give me away? How could you not love me?”
    “I don’t—” He started talking, but I continued on.
    “When she died, you could have come and gotten me. I was your daughter. You should have come for me. You didn’t even think about me. I’m nothing to you. I don’t understand why you never loved me.” I fell to the ground and sobbed, unable to keep it all in any longer. “Why didn’t you love me?” I felt arms on my back then and looked into Meg’s concerned eyes. “I didn’t want to hurt anyone,” I whispered to her. “I just wanted to understand.”
    “It’s okay.” She rubbed my back and pulled me into her arms. “It’s okay, Nancy.”
    “Why didn’t he love me?” I cried out again, and I watched as Brandon stood up and left the room.
    I felt my heart breaking then. He was walking out on me again. I didn’t understand how a father couldn’t love his child. I was a part of him. I couldn’t comprehend why or how he could have done this to me.
    “I always knew something was off in my family,” I whispered to Meg. “I always just assumed it was because Maria had killed herself. I thought my parents were just in shock over that, but I could see it in their eyes. There was always something that seemed off. I always felt like they wanted to tell me something, but they didn’t know how.”
    “He loves you, Nancy.” Katie walked towards me then with a small smile. She sat down on the ground with Meg and me, and she looked into my eyes. “He loves you more than you know. I’m sure of that.”
    “You knew about me?” I frowned
    “He told me last night.” She nodded. “He said he couldn’t keep it a secret anymore. He was sorry for having lied about it. He didn’t know how to come clean. I think he didn’t want to believe he’d been that person.”
    “He did that for you, not me.” My heart ached. “I know he loves you. You’re the one. That’s what Patsy told me. She said she never believed it would happen. She thought you were a fool. She knew all about your relationship with him. She said that you had a child with him. That I had a brother. That he had raised my brother because he loved you and wanted a part of you in his life. He didn’t love Maria and he didn’t love me and that’s why he never came for me.” I felt wooden as I spoke and the words came out. “He loves you and that’s why he told you.”
    “Oh, Nancy.” Katie’s eyes filled with tears, and I knew she couldn’t defend him anymore. She knew what I was saying was true. He loved her with all his heart. I was nothing to him.
    “You’re wrong, Nancy.” Brandon’s voice surprised us all as he walked back into the room. “You’re very, very wrong.” He had some files in his hand, and I looked at him in confusion. “I did tell Katie because I love her. I love her with all my heart and I knew that I couldn’t lie anymore. I was never ashamed of you. I was ashamed of who I was as a human being. I was ashamed of all the horrible things I’ve done. I didn’t think I was worthy of her love.” He stopped in front of me. “And I didn’t think I was worthy of your love, but never for a second think I haven’t loved you. Never for a second think that I’ve not