sorry. I don’t want you to be angry with me.”
“Silvia,” He was extremely serious. He looked straight into my eyes and searched them before he spoke, “It would take a lot more than you asking me to respect you to upset me. I do not want to rush into having sex on my parent’s sofa for the sake of having sex any more than you do. It’s not very romantic, is it?” He blinked a few times, “I like the way you feel with all your curves is all. And you’re so incredibly soft I can’t help but want to touch you,” He paused, searching my eyes again, “But, look, I’m not a rapist. I don’t want to be a rapist. I care about you. I’d never want to do something that’d make you feel bad or you’d be sorry for later. And I would never ask you to do anything that you’re not in for one hundred percent. So from now on, don’t hesitate. You decide and when you say so, we stop. And, mind, I won’t get angry. I swear.”
“Thank you. I like that.”
“And I like you. Very much. I would never want you to be hurt or ticked off,” He put his arm around me and kissed me on the head as he plopped beside me. “I want you to be just fine, Just Silvia Cotton. It’s my personal goal to make sure you are always just fine.”
“Can we watch some television?” I snuggled against him.
“We absolutely can,” He began flicking through stations. “Oh, I like this one! Neil nails himself to his apartment building. It’s wicked funny! Have you seen it?”
And just like that we were innocently cuddling on the sofa once again.
If you were never in love during your childhood, you missed out on something very special. I am not speaking of those horrible crushes that keep you up at night and make you sick at the thought of the other person. I am talking about love in its purest form, love that happens before either person has ever been hurt by love. Love that is light and simple and never analysed or dissected. I am talking about passion that has to do with being fascinated and respectful of the other person’s body rather than lustful. I am talking about touching without consummation and kissing without profanity. I am talking about sacred love that comes not from your heart, but from the place in the centre of your soul that screams that this boy is what the universe has decided for you and that you know without a question that you are endlessly, hopelessly in love.
That kind of a love is a gift. It’s a package beautifully wrapped and set before you. All you have to do is pull back the ribbon, tear off the paper, yank it out and let it grow. Almost everyone sullies it, though. They hang on to the wrappings too long thinking that what is inside might not be as beautiful as the outside and without sun and air the creature within slowly dies. Or they look to see if another package is lovelier and abandon the first. But Oliver and I did not do that. We ripped that ribbon back and tore off that beautiful paper, pulled out our gift and we let our love grow without even pruning the leaves.
I suppose it helped that we were so young. We had no baggage, no ex-lovers with which to contend, we were not jealous or suspicious of each other. The thing that really made it work, though, was that we did not compete with each other. Whatever it was we were in, we were into it together. Partners from start to finish, we were hand in hand. Always. Whatever it was, hard or simple, we dug into it together and we saw it through to the end. Few people around us believed that two children could be as in love as we were. There were whispers about us and judgements made. Rumours spread. There were even times at school when it was suggested that we be removed from each other, but seeing how good we were together and how hopeless we were apart, none of our parents had the heart to do that.
Having been able to show our affection freely over break, it was nearly impossible to remember to follow the rules of proper conduct at school. We were
“Silvia,” He was extremely serious. He looked straight into my eyes and searched them before he spoke, “It would take a lot more than you asking me to respect you to upset me. I do not want to rush into having sex on my parent’s sofa for the sake of having sex any more than you do. It’s not very romantic, is it?” He blinked a few times, “I like the way you feel with all your curves is all. And you’re so incredibly soft I can’t help but want to touch you,” He paused, searching my eyes again, “But, look, I’m not a rapist. I don’t want to be a rapist. I care about you. I’d never want to do something that’d make you feel bad or you’d be sorry for later. And I would never ask you to do anything that you’re not in for one hundred percent. So from now on, don’t hesitate. You decide and when you say so, we stop. And, mind, I won’t get angry. I swear.”
“Thank you. I like that.”
“And I like you. Very much. I would never want you to be hurt or ticked off,” He put his arm around me and kissed me on the head as he plopped beside me. “I want you to be just fine, Just Silvia Cotton. It’s my personal goal to make sure you are always just fine.”
“Can we watch some television?” I snuggled against him.
“We absolutely can,” He began flicking through stations. “Oh, I like this one! Neil nails himself to his apartment building. It’s wicked funny! Have you seen it?”
And just like that we were innocently cuddling on the sofa once again.
If you were never in love during your childhood, you missed out on something very special. I am not speaking of those horrible crushes that keep you up at night and make you sick at the thought of the other person. I am talking about love in its purest form, love that happens before either person has ever been hurt by love. Love that is light and simple and never analysed or dissected. I am talking about passion that has to do with being fascinated and respectful of the other person’s body rather than lustful. I am talking about touching without consummation and kissing without profanity. I am talking about sacred love that comes not from your heart, but from the place in the centre of your soul that screams that this boy is what the universe has decided for you and that you know without a question that you are endlessly, hopelessly in love.
That kind of a love is a gift. It’s a package beautifully wrapped and set before you. All you have to do is pull back the ribbon, tear off the paper, yank it out and let it grow. Almost everyone sullies it, though. They hang on to the wrappings too long thinking that what is inside might not be as beautiful as the outside and without sun and air the creature within slowly dies. Or they look to see if another package is lovelier and abandon the first. But Oliver and I did not do that. We ripped that ribbon back and tore off that beautiful paper, pulled out our gift and we let our love grow without even pruning the leaves.
I suppose it helped that we were so young. We had no baggage, no ex-lovers with which to contend, we were not jealous or suspicious of each other. The thing that really made it work, though, was that we did not compete with each other. Whatever it was we were in, we were into it together. Partners from start to finish, we were hand in hand. Always. Whatever it was, hard or simple, we dug into it together and we saw it through to the end. Few people around us believed that two children could be as in love as we were. There were whispers about us and judgements made. Rumours spread. There were even times at school when it was suggested that we be removed from each other, but seeing how good we were together and how hopeless we were apart, none of our parents had the heart to do that.
Having been able to show our affection freely over break, it was nearly impossible to remember to follow the rules of proper conduct at school. We were
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