A Snitch in the Snob Squad by Julie Anne Peters Page B

and Flavor-Filled Food Diary
,
    He loves me. He loves me. He loves me. Oh, yeah. Today was a good diet day. I had three bites of Dad’s magic meatloaf, which
     was chewy as chicken gizzards. One more bite and I would’ve barfed my green beans. Which, believe it or not, were actually
     tasty. I even had a second helping. And I passed on dessert
.
    P.S. Did I mention Kevin Rooney loves me?
    “Jenny and Vanessa, your dad and I figured out something to do for our family fun time that we’d all enjoy,” Mom said, as
     Vanessa and I were settling in to watch reruns of
Beavis and Butt-Head
.
    Dad stood behind Mom in the doorway, his arm snaking around her waist.
    Vanessa looked at me. Neither of us dared ask.
    Dad grinned. “I’ll give you a hint. Yo, ho, ho, and a bottle of rum.”
    Vanessa’s eyes grew wide. “We’re cruising the singles bars down by the dock?” She looked interested.
    Mom said, “No.” She clucked at Vanessa. “Pirate’s Cove. It opens this Saturday for the summer.”
    Vanessa choked. “Are you insane? Nobody plays putt-putt anymore.”
    Mom folded her arms. “You never like any idea we come up with, Vanessa. You’re so negative. That’s part of your problem; part
     of
our
problem as a family. Nothing we ever try to do pleases you. At least Jenny’s willing to give our family fun time a try.”
    Which made me choke. The last thing I wanted to do in the world was humiliate myself in public again.
    Mom added, “I’m probably going to have to work Saturday, so we’ll go Saturday night.”
    Saturday night? The remote control slipped out of my hand and clunked across the coffee table. As I retrieved it, I imagined
     what was going to happen after I told Mom what I was about to. Walking the plank came to mind. Mutiny came to mind. “Uh, gee,
     I’d really like to go to Pirate’s Cove for a few rounds of family putt-putt, Mom, Dad.” I smiled at them. “But, uh, I already
     have plans Saturday night.”
    All eyes zeroed in on me.
    “Are you going out with Kevin?” Van asked. She realized her error before my eye bullets assassinated her.
    To divert disaster, I huffed and said, “I kept Friday night open because I know it’s family night. Then you go and change
     it on me. Geez.”
    Mom lowered herself into the La-Z-Boy. “Just what were you and Kevin planning to do Saturday night?”
    “Oh, I don’t know. Smoke dope and have sex.”
    “Jenny!” Mom almost dislocated her jawbone.
    Dad cracked up. Propping himself on his elbows behind Mom, he said, “You can have sex, but don’t do drugs.”
    “Robert!”
    Van and I both cracked a smile.
    Mom stared me down. “Well?”
    My smile faded. “He asked me to come over and watch a movie. With Prairie and Hugh. Geez,” I said again. Like it was a mortal
     sin to hang out with your friends.
    “So much for putt-putt,” Vanessa said. She took the remote from me and clicked on the TV. As she channel surfed to MTV, she
     said, “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” In a murmur, she added, “Like I’ll ever get the chance.”
    From the end table, Mom retrieved the
TV Guide
and flipped through it. “I’d like to get to know this boy better. Why don’t you invite him to dinner before your date?”
    In this life? “We were going to order out. Chinese gourmet or something.” I glared at her.
    “How are you getting to his house?” Mom glanced over the
TV Guide
at me.
    Why didn’t she turn off all the lights and dangle a naked lightbulb over my head? “Hugh’s mom is taking him and Prairie and
     picking me up on the way.”
    Vanessa bounded to her feet. “Anyone want popcorn?”
    I raised my hand. So did Dad.
    “No.” Mom leaned back and propped up her feet. She blinked at Vanessa. “I mean yes to popcorn, no to Jenny.”
    My head whipped around. “What do you mean ‘no’? You mean I can’t go? Mom, I’m almost thirteen years old. I’m the oldest person
     in the world to never have a date. Besides Vanessa.”
    From the