that. I would be happy just to get you away from real live women.”
“I don’t know what to say, Cammie.” He sat on the edge of the bed, shaking his head and sighing. “You knew this is what I do. Why is it all of a sudden a concern for you?”
“I didn’t know it was going to affect me until I saw you two together.”
“Stop saying it like that. We weren’t together.” His fingers slid roughly threw his hair.
He put on his boots and then treaded heavily from the room.
That hadn’t gone as well as it could have.
He loved her. She couldn’t believe he’d admitted to it. Her heart was breaking—she hated being the one to cause him anger, hurt, or even discomfort, but she’d had to tell him.
----
***
----
W hat the hell was Cammie thinking? Surely she didn’t expect Zach to give up his business in order to date her. What a ridiculous and immature thought process. Hire someone to film. Next she’d have him out of the biz altogether. He’d have to set the precedent now.
He was eight years older than her, surely he could spin this. He stopped into a store that sold jeweled pins. He purchased an alligator that dazzled with emerald skin and topaz eyes. He loved whimsical items and knew that Cammie did too.
He stopped at Commander’s Palace to order their lunch—two crawfish grilled cheese on brioche and a slice of southern style pecan pie for Cammie.
At home he found her in the living room watching television. Some insipid reality show. It was the first time he’d ever seen her show an interest in television at all—movies were her thing. He could tell by the streaks on her cheeks and her wet lashes that she’d spent the last hour crying.
“Turn that off and follow me into the kitchen.”
He gestured to the table and she positioned herself in a chair.
“Hungry?”
She nodded.
“How about a crawfish grilled cheese?”
Again she nodded.
“Cammie, I don’t want to argue with you.” He placed the sandwich on the plate in front of her. And then he put the alligator pin in her hand. “Do you trust me?”
She looked up at him and blinked those big gray eyes at him. She nodded.
“Please talk to me, babe.”
“Of course I trust you, but I know you met Priscilla and Leslie while you were filming her for a video, so it is possible to connect romantically with the women you film.”
Dumbfounded, Zach’s head shook. It was possible to connect with women everywhere. “If I make a commitment to you, I won’t break it. I love you and I would never do anything to hurt you. It wouldn’t matter if a goddess were standing naked before me because the only goddess I want to share myself with is you.”
Her eyes filled with tears that didn’t fall, but instead disfigured her pupils. She fingered the gator pin and her thoughts couldn’t be deciphered, but he didn’t think they were happy ones.
“Cammie?”
He’d given it his best shot. She admitted to trusting him and he’d told her for a second time that he loved her. If she didn’t accept his work then there’d be no future for them.
She placed the pin on the table. “I can’t do it. I’ll always be unhappy about your work.”
“But you came to me because of my work.”
“I don’t care about porn, I just don’t want my boyfriend looking at naked women having sex.”
“I have to look. It’s my job.”
She sighed. “I know. I don’t expect you to give up your work.”
“Then what do you want?”
“I can’t be with you. And I know five years from now I’m going to be unhappy if I give in now. It will only make it that much harder to say goodbye.”
No. He felt like she’d ripped his heart from his chest with her teeth. Sometime when he wasn’t looking, the curvaceous woman from Lake Pontchartrain had slipped deep inside. He loved her. He’d not known how much until just now. His chest burned and his throat knotted.
Her tears fell and splashed onto the sandwich he’d so lovingly bought, thinking of her. With every
“I don’t know what to say, Cammie.” He sat on the edge of the bed, shaking his head and sighing. “You knew this is what I do. Why is it all of a sudden a concern for you?”
“I didn’t know it was going to affect me until I saw you two together.”
“Stop saying it like that. We weren’t together.” His fingers slid roughly threw his hair.
He put on his boots and then treaded heavily from the room.
That hadn’t gone as well as it could have.
He loved her. She couldn’t believe he’d admitted to it. Her heart was breaking—she hated being the one to cause him anger, hurt, or even discomfort, but she’d had to tell him.
----
***
----
W hat the hell was Cammie thinking? Surely she didn’t expect Zach to give up his business in order to date her. What a ridiculous and immature thought process. Hire someone to film. Next she’d have him out of the biz altogether. He’d have to set the precedent now.
He was eight years older than her, surely he could spin this. He stopped into a store that sold jeweled pins. He purchased an alligator that dazzled with emerald skin and topaz eyes. He loved whimsical items and knew that Cammie did too.
He stopped at Commander’s Palace to order their lunch—two crawfish grilled cheese on brioche and a slice of southern style pecan pie for Cammie.
At home he found her in the living room watching television. Some insipid reality show. It was the first time he’d ever seen her show an interest in television at all—movies were her thing. He could tell by the streaks on her cheeks and her wet lashes that she’d spent the last hour crying.
“Turn that off and follow me into the kitchen.”
He gestured to the table and she positioned herself in a chair.
“Hungry?”
She nodded.
“How about a crawfish grilled cheese?”
Again she nodded.
“Cammie, I don’t want to argue with you.” He placed the sandwich on the plate in front of her. And then he put the alligator pin in her hand. “Do you trust me?”
She looked up at him and blinked those big gray eyes at him. She nodded.
“Please talk to me, babe.”
“Of course I trust you, but I know you met Priscilla and Leslie while you were filming her for a video, so it is possible to connect romantically with the women you film.”
Dumbfounded, Zach’s head shook. It was possible to connect with women everywhere. “If I make a commitment to you, I won’t break it. I love you and I would never do anything to hurt you. It wouldn’t matter if a goddess were standing naked before me because the only goddess I want to share myself with is you.”
Her eyes filled with tears that didn’t fall, but instead disfigured her pupils. She fingered the gator pin and her thoughts couldn’t be deciphered, but he didn’t think they were happy ones.
“Cammie?”
He’d given it his best shot. She admitted to trusting him and he’d told her for a second time that he loved her. If she didn’t accept his work then there’d be no future for them.
She placed the pin on the table. “I can’t do it. I’ll always be unhappy about your work.”
“But you came to me because of my work.”
“I don’t care about porn, I just don’t want my boyfriend looking at naked women having sex.”
“I have to look. It’s my job.”
She sighed. “I know. I don’t expect you to give up your work.”
“Then what do you want?”
“I can’t be with you. And I know five years from now I’m going to be unhappy if I give in now. It will only make it that much harder to say goodbye.”
No. He felt like she’d ripped his heart from his chest with her teeth. Sometime when he wasn’t looking, the curvaceous woman from Lake Pontchartrain had slipped deep inside. He loved her. He’d not known how much until just now. His chest burned and his throat knotted.
Her tears fell and splashed onto the sandwich he’d so lovingly bought, thinking of her. With every