last. The words sounded cheap and flimsy as soon as I uttered them. "It's against ANC policy."
Knight narrowed his eyes and stood up, retreating to the far side of the living room. His back was to me and his shoulders seemed tight, making his posture straight and rigid. When he turned to face me, there was anger in his eyes and grimness to the lines of his mouth. "That's bullshit, Dulcie, and you know it."
I stood up and took a deep breath, trying to convince myself not to lose it. One tear and he'd know I was bluffing, that I wasn't being honest with him or myself. "Whatever my reasons, Knight, I can't do this anymore. Things between us from now on have to be strictly platonic."
He glared at me. "So this whole thing was set up."
"Set up?" I repeated, shaking my head, although dawning realization hit me like a bomb. That was exactly what this looked like—a set-up. He thought I ’d only asked for my job back so I could break up with him, blaming it on not being able to work together and date. Although it was the farthest from the truth, the truth was nearly as bad.
He nodded and took a step closer to me. I felt like I was shriveling beneath his stringent gaze. "You wanted your job back because you knew it would be an out where you and I are concerned."
"No, that isn't why," I started, shaking my head again, only this time more adamantly. Before I could defend myself, he interrupted me.
"Then why, Dulcie? Seems pretty damn convenient if you ask me."
My heart started beating frantically. I didn't want to get into an argument with him. I'm not sure what I expected—or what I'd thought his reacti on was going to be, but I wasn’t at all prepared for this. "I just, um … I just felt like I belonged in law enforcement," I said sheepishly. As soon as I said it, I realized my reason needed to sound more legitimate than that. A lot more legitimate if Knight was going to buy it. "Going to the Netherworld reinforced my reasons for getting into law enforcement in the first place. I needed to come back where I belong," I said as a wave of nausea washed over me. I hated the fact that I was a complete and total hypocrite.
"The ANC is where you belong. It's in your blood," he agreed, but crossed his arms against his chest to reveal that he was still angry all the same.
"Please believe me when I say that getting my job back has nothing to do with ... this."
"Then what does this have to do with?"
"I just don't think it's right to work with you and date you, Knight. It's a conflict of interests, especially because you're my boss."
"Then I'll change the arrangement so you can report directly to Caressa."
I swallowed hard. "Knight, Caressa doesn't work in our office and no one else reports to her. It would be too weird and I don't want special favors merely because you and I are in a relationship."
"So you’d prefer to be completely out of the relationship?"
And that was exactly what I was trying to say, but apparently, not doing a good job of saying it. "Knight, I care about you," I started, but he sighed and shook his head.
"But not enough, it seems." He glared at me for a few more seconds and the pain in his eyes nearly undid me. "Damn me for falling for you, Dulcie." He shook his head and stared at something in the distance. "The warning signs had always been there, but I ignored them. I thought you would let me in, that I could help you break down your walls and forget about your past, forget about Jack." He faced me again. "But I was completely wrong." He chuckled acidly. "And fuck me for being completely wrong."
I felt my heart breaking because everything I'd just told him was a complete lie. I was as much in love with him now as I'd ever been. And he had been successful in breaking down my walls! It was solely because of Knight that I was able to put Jack behind me and move on. Knight really had saved me, but of course, I couldn't tell him that. Instead, I had to watch silently after I painted the worst possible
Knight narrowed his eyes and stood up, retreating to the far side of the living room. His back was to me and his shoulders seemed tight, making his posture straight and rigid. When he turned to face me, there was anger in his eyes and grimness to the lines of his mouth. "That's bullshit, Dulcie, and you know it."
I stood up and took a deep breath, trying to convince myself not to lose it. One tear and he'd know I was bluffing, that I wasn't being honest with him or myself. "Whatever my reasons, Knight, I can't do this anymore. Things between us from now on have to be strictly platonic."
He glared at me. "So this whole thing was set up."
"Set up?" I repeated, shaking my head, although dawning realization hit me like a bomb. That was exactly what this looked like—a set-up. He thought I ’d only asked for my job back so I could break up with him, blaming it on not being able to work together and date. Although it was the farthest from the truth, the truth was nearly as bad.
He nodded and took a step closer to me. I felt like I was shriveling beneath his stringent gaze. "You wanted your job back because you knew it would be an out where you and I are concerned."
"No, that isn't why," I started, shaking my head again, only this time more adamantly. Before I could defend myself, he interrupted me.
"Then why, Dulcie? Seems pretty damn convenient if you ask me."
My heart started beating frantically. I didn't want to get into an argument with him. I'm not sure what I expected—or what I'd thought his reacti on was going to be, but I wasn’t at all prepared for this. "I just, um … I just felt like I belonged in law enforcement," I said sheepishly. As soon as I said it, I realized my reason needed to sound more legitimate than that. A lot more legitimate if Knight was going to buy it. "Going to the Netherworld reinforced my reasons for getting into law enforcement in the first place. I needed to come back where I belong," I said as a wave of nausea washed over me. I hated the fact that I was a complete and total hypocrite.
"The ANC is where you belong. It's in your blood," he agreed, but crossed his arms against his chest to reveal that he was still angry all the same.
"Please believe me when I say that getting my job back has nothing to do with ... this."
"Then what does this have to do with?"
"I just don't think it's right to work with you and date you, Knight. It's a conflict of interests, especially because you're my boss."
"Then I'll change the arrangement so you can report directly to Caressa."
I swallowed hard. "Knight, Caressa doesn't work in our office and no one else reports to her. It would be too weird and I don't want special favors merely because you and I are in a relationship."
"So you’d prefer to be completely out of the relationship?"
And that was exactly what I was trying to say, but apparently, not doing a good job of saying it. "Knight, I care about you," I started, but he sighed and shook his head.
"But not enough, it seems." He glared at me for a few more seconds and the pain in his eyes nearly undid me. "Damn me for falling for you, Dulcie." He shook his head and stared at something in the distance. "The warning signs had always been there, but I ignored them. I thought you would let me in, that I could help you break down your walls and forget about your past, forget about Jack." He faced me again. "But I was completely wrong." He chuckled acidly. "And fuck me for being completely wrong."
I felt my heart breaking because everything I'd just told him was a complete lie. I was as much in love with him now as I'd ever been. And he had been successful in breaking down my walls! It was solely because of Knight that I was able to put Jack behind me and move on. Knight really had saved me, but of course, I couldn't tell him that. Instead, I had to watch silently after I painted the worst possible
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