obligation. I genuinely enjoyed being around her.
It was as if I’d been underground for years, locked away in a dungeon of my own making and unable to break free. After meeting Lailah, I felt as if my chains had melted away, and I had finally crawled up to the surface to catch my first blinding glimpse of the sun.
Lailah was the sun, and I was dazzled by her soothing, pure presence.
I knew it was selfish of me to crave her companionship just to fill a void in the remnants of my heart, but for the first time in three years, I felt a flicker of hope in my life. After everything that had happened with Megan and her family, I was sure my life was over, and I’d be nothing but an empty shell wandering these halls for eternity. But if hope still lived inside of me, then perhaps a friendship with Lailah was exactly what I needed.
Always seeming to be one step ahead of me, Lailah rummaged through the drawers of the massive kitchen and found a pizza cutter. She held it up with the intent to do harm to our cheesy masterpiece.
“Whoa there, Chucky. Why don’t you give me the sharp object, and I’ll cut the pizza? I’d rather not return you to Dr. Marcus with a missing appendage.”
Her brow rose in defiance, but she handed over the spinning wheel of death easily. Her arms folded across her chest, pushing her breasts together under her dark blue sweater. Locked in a trance, my breath suddenly faltered. My fists tightened at my side, and I quickly looked away.
What the hell was that?
Choosing to ignore my body’s obvious confusion, I devoted my attention to cutting our pizza. Moments later, I plated each of us a slice. At the counter, she sat back down in the wheelchair, and I made a chair from a step stool.
“It’s perfect,” she said after taking the first bite. She looked casual and comfortable, leaned back in the wheelchair with her legs propped up against the edge of my step stool. It was the most relaxed I’d ever seen her—at least around me.
I took my first bite, and I was actually surprised. “Huh…how about that? It’s pretty damn good.”
“So, does this mean you’re going to make pizzas from scratch now?” she asked as she took a napkin to the corner of her mouth.
“Hell no. Gotta get my delivery boy through college. Besides, I wouldn’t have my sous chef.”
The second the sentence left my lips, I had a vision of Lailah standing in my kitchen, laughing with streaks of flour covering her nose and cheeks, as I stepped in behind her, wrapping my arms around her tiny waist, and kissed her shoulder.
No, not Lailah. Always Megan. Always.
I shook my head, trying to erase the image from my mind. Guilt swept through my gut, and I felt sick.
“Jude, are you okay?” she said, cutting through the fog in my mind.
“Yeah. Fine.” The words were barely more than a whisper. I didn’t even bother trying to cover up the despair seeping through every pore in my body.
Her hand touched my knee, and I jerked back instantly. I knew she was trying to be comforting, but after the crazy mind tricks my brain was doing, I couldn’t allow it.
I couldn’t allow any of this.
“Sorry,” I said, not even looking up to meet her gaze. “I’m not feeling well all of a sudden. Do you think we could cut this short?”
“Oh, um…sure. Just let me clean everything up,” she said, quickly jumping up to start gathering everything back into the bags.
I rose from my spot on the step stool. “Don’t worry about it, Lailah. I’ll come back in a few and take care of it all.”
“But you did so much, and look at all this food. I should at least help pack it, especially if you don’t feel well.” The words were tumbling out of her.
The obvious shift in my mood had made her nervous, and she was now reverting back to babbling.
I rested my hand on hers, desperately trying to ignore the feel of her soft skin beneath mine. “It’s fine. I can handle it.” I finally looked up at her.
Her eyes were wide and
It was as if I’d been underground for years, locked away in a dungeon of my own making and unable to break free. After meeting Lailah, I felt as if my chains had melted away, and I had finally crawled up to the surface to catch my first blinding glimpse of the sun.
Lailah was the sun, and I was dazzled by her soothing, pure presence.
I knew it was selfish of me to crave her companionship just to fill a void in the remnants of my heart, but for the first time in three years, I felt a flicker of hope in my life. After everything that had happened with Megan and her family, I was sure my life was over, and I’d be nothing but an empty shell wandering these halls for eternity. But if hope still lived inside of me, then perhaps a friendship with Lailah was exactly what I needed.
Always seeming to be one step ahead of me, Lailah rummaged through the drawers of the massive kitchen and found a pizza cutter. She held it up with the intent to do harm to our cheesy masterpiece.
“Whoa there, Chucky. Why don’t you give me the sharp object, and I’ll cut the pizza? I’d rather not return you to Dr. Marcus with a missing appendage.”
Her brow rose in defiance, but she handed over the spinning wheel of death easily. Her arms folded across her chest, pushing her breasts together under her dark blue sweater. Locked in a trance, my breath suddenly faltered. My fists tightened at my side, and I quickly looked away.
What the hell was that?
Choosing to ignore my body’s obvious confusion, I devoted my attention to cutting our pizza. Moments later, I plated each of us a slice. At the counter, she sat back down in the wheelchair, and I made a chair from a step stool.
“It’s perfect,” she said after taking the first bite. She looked casual and comfortable, leaned back in the wheelchair with her legs propped up against the edge of my step stool. It was the most relaxed I’d ever seen her—at least around me.
I took my first bite, and I was actually surprised. “Huh…how about that? It’s pretty damn good.”
“So, does this mean you’re going to make pizzas from scratch now?” she asked as she took a napkin to the corner of her mouth.
“Hell no. Gotta get my delivery boy through college. Besides, I wouldn’t have my sous chef.”
The second the sentence left my lips, I had a vision of Lailah standing in my kitchen, laughing with streaks of flour covering her nose and cheeks, as I stepped in behind her, wrapping my arms around her tiny waist, and kissed her shoulder.
No, not Lailah. Always Megan. Always.
I shook my head, trying to erase the image from my mind. Guilt swept through my gut, and I felt sick.
“Jude, are you okay?” she said, cutting through the fog in my mind.
“Yeah. Fine.” The words were barely more than a whisper. I didn’t even bother trying to cover up the despair seeping through every pore in my body.
Her hand touched my knee, and I jerked back instantly. I knew she was trying to be comforting, but after the crazy mind tricks my brain was doing, I couldn’t allow it.
I couldn’t allow any of this.
“Sorry,” I said, not even looking up to meet her gaze. “I’m not feeling well all of a sudden. Do you think we could cut this short?”
“Oh, um…sure. Just let me clean everything up,” she said, quickly jumping up to start gathering everything back into the bags.
I rose from my spot on the step stool. “Don’t worry about it, Lailah. I’ll come back in a few and take care of it all.”
“But you did so much, and look at all this food. I should at least help pack it, especially if you don’t feel well.” The words were tumbling out of her.
The obvious shift in my mood had made her nervous, and she was now reverting back to babbling.
I rested my hand on hers, desperately trying to ignore the feel of her soft skin beneath mine. “It’s fine. I can handle it.” I finally looked up at her.
Her eyes were wide and
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