to give them room and move toward my car, where two firefighters are now working on Emma, walking her to the side of the car and checking her for more injuries. Two police officers have also started circling my car, and I notice them ask her a few questions.
Come on, Emma. Lie for me, baby. Please…just this once—tell a lie.
She shakes her head no, then her eyes flit up to me—our gazes lock, and I know she’s done as I asked. She looks so ashamed, but I nod and close my eyes, so thankful she followed through. Whatever has her terrified of this—whatever she thinks this will ruin—is in the past with that one little lie.
I walk slowly toward the car, and as I get to the front, where the damage is, the second officer moves from my back seat leaving the door open.
“Is this your car, sir?” he asks.
“Yes,” I nod.
“Were you driving this vehicle tonight?”
Yes, this is what I was hoping for. I’ll explain everything; there will be some processing. Insurance is going to suck, but the man…he’s going to be okay. I know it. I’ll be fine. Emma will be fine.
“Yes, I was. It was dark, and he stepped into the roadway after that bend, and—”
“Place your hands on the roof of the car, please,” the other officer says. I do as he asks, and open my mouth to finish my version of what happened, when I feel him kick my feet farther apart as his hands pat down the front, sides, and back of my body.
“I’m going to put these cuffs on you, sir, and they’re going to feel a little uncomfortable, but if you don’t resist, it won’t hurt,” he says, jerking one arm behind my body, then the second.
The cuffs are more of a giant zip-tie, really, and he pulls them tight, then leads me backward a few steps, pointing me so I’m looking at his partner.
“Is this your marijuana, Andrew?” the officer says. I look at the bag, the same small fucking bag of weed House dangled at me as payment to buy him a cheeseburger, and I feel overwhelmed with the need to throw up.
“That’s not mine,” I say, realizing how typical every word I just said sounds. That’s what everyone says. And it’s never the truth—except this once. This isn’t the lie I’m telling. But it’s the only one they’re interested in.
“Have you been drinking or have you taken any drugs tonight?”
Shit.
I glance to Emma, who is now a hundred yards away near the fire truck, and I look back to my officer, knowing I’m fucked. I nod yes .
“Andrew, I’m placing you under arrest. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say, can be…”
I hear his voice. It’s a droning sound, and I know every word he’s uttering. I know the law, the way it works, what happened, and I can see every single frame of this moment and how the universe has lined up to destroy me. I’ll call my mom. She’ll find a way to fix this. She’ll call Owen.
My heart is beating so fast I think it might stop from exhaustion at any moment—the rhythm hurting my chest from the inside. I look up as the officer presses down on my neck, lowering me into the backseat of the squad car, and Emma’s eyes lock on mine.
“No!” she shouts, and I see her pulling away from the medics trying to help her, the woman holding her arm and keeping her still. “No, Andrew!”
I can’t hear her second scream, because the door is shut on me. I only see her lips moving, her arms jerking and her legs fighting to get to me. She’s trying to get them to stop, and she’s probably trying to take my place, but it doesn’t matter. I don’t want her to, either. She needs to stay with them, to wait for her parents, to go home and to be safe.
She doesn’t need to be afraid. She is not going to lose anything. She can’t and she won’t. And I’ll be okay.
I’ll be okay.
Chapter 5
One month later
E mma ,
I’m sorry that this has to be a letter. It’s the only thing I’m allowed to do. I wanted to call you, but there really wasn’t an opportunity. I didn’t
Come on, Emma. Lie for me, baby. Please…just this once—tell a lie.
She shakes her head no, then her eyes flit up to me—our gazes lock, and I know she’s done as I asked. She looks so ashamed, but I nod and close my eyes, so thankful she followed through. Whatever has her terrified of this—whatever she thinks this will ruin—is in the past with that one little lie.
I walk slowly toward the car, and as I get to the front, where the damage is, the second officer moves from my back seat leaving the door open.
“Is this your car, sir?” he asks.
“Yes,” I nod.
“Were you driving this vehicle tonight?”
Yes, this is what I was hoping for. I’ll explain everything; there will be some processing. Insurance is going to suck, but the man…he’s going to be okay. I know it. I’ll be fine. Emma will be fine.
“Yes, I was. It was dark, and he stepped into the roadway after that bend, and—”
“Place your hands on the roof of the car, please,” the other officer says. I do as he asks, and open my mouth to finish my version of what happened, when I feel him kick my feet farther apart as his hands pat down the front, sides, and back of my body.
“I’m going to put these cuffs on you, sir, and they’re going to feel a little uncomfortable, but if you don’t resist, it won’t hurt,” he says, jerking one arm behind my body, then the second.
The cuffs are more of a giant zip-tie, really, and he pulls them tight, then leads me backward a few steps, pointing me so I’m looking at his partner.
“Is this your marijuana, Andrew?” the officer says. I look at the bag, the same small fucking bag of weed House dangled at me as payment to buy him a cheeseburger, and I feel overwhelmed with the need to throw up.
“That’s not mine,” I say, realizing how typical every word I just said sounds. That’s what everyone says. And it’s never the truth—except this once. This isn’t the lie I’m telling. But it’s the only one they’re interested in.
“Have you been drinking or have you taken any drugs tonight?”
Shit.
I glance to Emma, who is now a hundred yards away near the fire truck, and I look back to my officer, knowing I’m fucked. I nod yes .
“Andrew, I’m placing you under arrest. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say, can be…”
I hear his voice. It’s a droning sound, and I know every word he’s uttering. I know the law, the way it works, what happened, and I can see every single frame of this moment and how the universe has lined up to destroy me. I’ll call my mom. She’ll find a way to fix this. She’ll call Owen.
My heart is beating so fast I think it might stop from exhaustion at any moment—the rhythm hurting my chest from the inside. I look up as the officer presses down on my neck, lowering me into the backseat of the squad car, and Emma’s eyes lock on mine.
“No!” she shouts, and I see her pulling away from the medics trying to help her, the woman holding her arm and keeping her still. “No, Andrew!”
I can’t hear her second scream, because the door is shut on me. I only see her lips moving, her arms jerking and her legs fighting to get to me. She’s trying to get them to stop, and she’s probably trying to take my place, but it doesn’t matter. I don’t want her to, either. She needs to stay with them, to wait for her parents, to go home and to be safe.
She doesn’t need to be afraid. She is not going to lose anything. She can’t and she won’t. And I’ll be okay.
I’ll be okay.
Chapter 5
One month later
E mma ,
I’m sorry that this has to be a letter. It’s the only thing I’m allowed to do. I wanted to call you, but there really wasn’t an opportunity. I didn’t
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