how unhappy I am, and it upsets them. If that doesn’t convince me to move out, Mandy, then I guess nothing will. But at this point, my mind is made up.” Ray waited for her response. He knew things were different between them, and he hoped this news helped. Unfortunately, all he got from the other end of the receiver was silence. “Mandy? Are you there?”
“Yes, I’m here. I was just thinking. It’s ironic. Here I am thinking of breaking things off with you because of your wife, and here you are ending things with her. I’m more confused than ever at this point, Ray, so you’ll have to excuse my silence.” She was exasperated. Things weren’t really going her way at all lately. She had heard the planets were in mercury retrograde, which meant everything that could go wrong did, but this was ridiculous. She’d heard that on the radio that morning, and though she didn’t believe in astrology, it certainly went along with her life at the moment.
“Breaking things off with me? Wait…Mandy…what do you mean?” Ray felt as if someone had suddenly punched him in the stomach. This can’t be happening, he thought. Not now.
“Everyone in my life has such a fit when I tell them about you. Then add to that how I feel about you being married. I’d decided that I was definitely interfering in your marriage, good or bad. I wanted to cool things between us until you were free. I don’t want you to make any decisions based on how you think you feel about me. I am far, far away. I can’t be there to help you, and I can’t be there to comfort you. Maybe we won’t ever get to be together, so before you make any rash decisions about leaving your family, you should take that into consideration.” She held her breath. She just stood there staring at herself in the mirror, waiting for him to decide their fate. In her mind she knew these were the right things to say, but in her heart she felt differently.
Ray was panicking. He was afraid to say the wrong thing here, but didn’t know what the right thing was. He wanted to convince Amanda they were meant to be together. Unfortunately he was never very good at expressing his feelings, or displaying his emotions. All he knew was, he better learn fast.
“Okay, Mandy, listen. First and foremost, I’m not ending my marriage because of you. I’m leaving because of me. I deserve to be happy, remember? If we don’t end up together or even meet, then so be it. If we do, and I think we will, then wonderful. I’ll get to be happy. If I end up alone…I’ll still be happier than I am now. I feel we met for a reason. It just feels right. We have a connection couples don’t usually have even after knowing each other for a long time. I love you. I think you’re my soul mate. That’s the only reason I can come up with for wanting to share my heart with you. You make me want to be better.” He wished he could see her right now. He wanted to see how this made her feel. He wasn’t used to sharing his feelings this way. It was new to him. He wanted to have her just say ‘I love you, too, Ray.’ He didn’t want her to have so many reservations.
“If you’d never met me, Ray, would you still be considering ending your marriage?” She knew this was the most important question she’d ever asked him. This was what she wanted to know. Deep down she felt that the end of Ray and Carrie’s marriage was inevitable, but she just had to be sure. She silently started to cry, afraid of the answer.
“Mandy, please believe me. The answer is yes. I don’t love Carrie any more. Our marriage is dead. I was dead too. I see now I have no life. I want one. Damn it, Mandy, I
“Yes, I’m here. I was just thinking. It’s ironic. Here I am thinking of breaking things off with you because of your wife, and here you are ending things with her. I’m more confused than ever at this point, Ray, so you’ll have to excuse my silence.” She was exasperated. Things weren’t really going her way at all lately. She had heard the planets were in mercury retrograde, which meant everything that could go wrong did, but this was ridiculous. She’d heard that on the radio that morning, and though she didn’t believe in astrology, it certainly went along with her life at the moment.
“Breaking things off with me? Wait…Mandy…what do you mean?” Ray felt as if someone had suddenly punched him in the stomach. This can’t be happening, he thought. Not now.
“Everyone in my life has such a fit when I tell them about you. Then add to that how I feel about you being married. I’d decided that I was definitely interfering in your marriage, good or bad. I wanted to cool things between us until you were free. I don’t want you to make any decisions based on how you think you feel about me. I am far, far away. I can’t be there to help you, and I can’t be there to comfort you. Maybe we won’t ever get to be together, so before you make any rash decisions about leaving your family, you should take that into consideration.” She held her breath. She just stood there staring at herself in the mirror, waiting for him to decide their fate. In her mind she knew these were the right things to say, but in her heart she felt differently.
Ray was panicking. He was afraid to say the wrong thing here, but didn’t know what the right thing was. He wanted to convince Amanda they were meant to be together. Unfortunately he was never very good at expressing his feelings, or displaying his emotions. All he knew was, he better learn fast.
“Okay, Mandy, listen. First and foremost, I’m not ending my marriage because of you. I’m leaving because of me. I deserve to be happy, remember? If we don’t end up together or even meet, then so be it. If we do, and I think we will, then wonderful. I’ll get to be happy. If I end up alone…I’ll still be happier than I am now. I feel we met for a reason. It just feels right. We have a connection couples don’t usually have even after knowing each other for a long time. I love you. I think you’re my soul mate. That’s the only reason I can come up with for wanting to share my heart with you. You make me want to be better.” He wished he could see her right now. He wanted to see how this made her feel. He wasn’t used to sharing his feelings this way. It was new to him. He wanted to have her just say ‘I love you, too, Ray.’ He didn’t want her to have so many reservations.
“If you’d never met me, Ray, would you still be considering ending your marriage?” She knew this was the most important question she’d ever asked him. This was what she wanted to know. Deep down she felt that the end of Ray and Carrie’s marriage was inevitable, but she just had to be sure. She silently started to cry, afraid of the answer.
“Mandy, please believe me. The answer is yes. I don’t love Carrie any more. Our marriage is dead. I was dead too. I see now I have no life. I want one. Damn it, Mandy, I
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