the wine into our bathwater, turning it red and staining Mrs Adams’s wedding gown, “here’s to your dream.”
“It looks like we’re soaking in blood,” I laughed.
“Yours,” Angela said, dropping the bottle with a splash.
When I got out of the bath and dried off, Angela was already curled up in her bed. Her sheets were soaked all around her. She had passed out on the far side so she wouldn’t sleep clutching my arm like a teddy bear the way she usually did.
I knew I wasn’t going to be able to sleep, so I just sat on the edge of the bed looking down at her. She looked like a blow-up doll. White skin and pink lips. Her mouth was open, and there was a little drool hanging from the corner of her mouth, but she was still beautiful. Angela was the most beautiful girl I knew. She wasn’t generic like Madison and Alexis. They were beautiful, I guess, but their beauty was cheap. Anyone with a fake tan who wasn’t afraid of a nip-slip could look like them.
I looked up at the Bob Marley poster above Angela’s bed, which I could sort of make out in the dark. Her dad had ripped it off her wall once in a rage after he’d “confiscated” her pipe. She’d cried because she really loved that pipe. We called it Liberace, partly because it was so sparkly and partly because Angela used it as an anal dildo. I helped her tape the poster and put it back on the wall. Bob was smoking a blunt and smoke streamed off his lips. “Is this love?” was written on the bottom.
I decided to walk home. I took off Mrs Adams’ wedding dress and put on my own clothes. It was so cold in the hallway I could almost see my breath. The cardboard and duct-tape window wasn’t holding up. I walked past the living room and saw Abel and Carly asleep on the couch, lit up by the flashing TV on mute. Abel opened his eyes and saw me standing there. I waved at him with my fingers and he stood up, looking down at Carly to make sure she was still asleep. When he was sure, he silently walked with me to the front door and started to put on his boots.
When we got outside, it was snowing, and the wind whipped the snow off the ground into our faces. I hadn’t worn a hat because I was having a good hair day. At least my hair was long and covered my ears. Abel wasn’t wearing a hat either, but he had his curls. My jacket was pretty delusional too. I hated the down coats everyone wore. I wore a chic little pea coat. Fashion before comfort; you can be warm in hell.
Abel and I walked down the middle of the street because there was too much snow on the sidewalk. At the end of the block, a snowplow was stuck, beeping incessantly. We still didn’t say anything. I didn’t know what to say. I just wished he would put his arm around me because I was so cold. I remember thinking how if I were Carly, he would’ve put his arm around me.
We walked to the park without thinking, even though we were freezing and even though it was stupid to be outside. The snow was so deep, we sunk into it up to our knees. Abel swept the snow off the bench, and despite the fact that my teeth were chattering, I sat next to him. I didn’t want to go home.
I waited, but nothing happened, so I finally took his arm and put it over my shoulder. I was worried that he might take it away, but he didn’t. I think he wasn’t worried about being seen; everyone else was either inside or frozen to death. It didn’t make me feel the way I hoped it would. There wasn’t anyone there to see, and that’s what I really wanted.
I put my hand on his lap and started rubbing his jeans. I couldn’t really feel it because my fingers were so numb. He looked around, but there was no one. He let me unzip his jeans, and pushed my head down on his lap as his head hung over the back of the bench. He tasted like a girl. My stomach swirled. My nose was running, and my mouth was dry.
He didn’t even notice when I cried.
14
Fight Sequence
M y grandma came over to take me and Keefer to church the next
“It looks like we’re soaking in blood,” I laughed.
“Yours,” Angela said, dropping the bottle with a splash.
When I got out of the bath and dried off, Angela was already curled up in her bed. Her sheets were soaked all around her. She had passed out on the far side so she wouldn’t sleep clutching my arm like a teddy bear the way she usually did.
I knew I wasn’t going to be able to sleep, so I just sat on the edge of the bed looking down at her. She looked like a blow-up doll. White skin and pink lips. Her mouth was open, and there was a little drool hanging from the corner of her mouth, but she was still beautiful. Angela was the most beautiful girl I knew. She wasn’t generic like Madison and Alexis. They were beautiful, I guess, but their beauty was cheap. Anyone with a fake tan who wasn’t afraid of a nip-slip could look like them.
I looked up at the Bob Marley poster above Angela’s bed, which I could sort of make out in the dark. Her dad had ripped it off her wall once in a rage after he’d “confiscated” her pipe. She’d cried because she really loved that pipe. We called it Liberace, partly because it was so sparkly and partly because Angela used it as an anal dildo. I helped her tape the poster and put it back on the wall. Bob was smoking a blunt and smoke streamed off his lips. “Is this love?” was written on the bottom.
I decided to walk home. I took off Mrs Adams’ wedding dress and put on my own clothes. It was so cold in the hallway I could almost see my breath. The cardboard and duct-tape window wasn’t holding up. I walked past the living room and saw Abel and Carly asleep on the couch, lit up by the flashing TV on mute. Abel opened his eyes and saw me standing there. I waved at him with my fingers and he stood up, looking down at Carly to make sure she was still asleep. When he was sure, he silently walked with me to the front door and started to put on his boots.
When we got outside, it was snowing, and the wind whipped the snow off the ground into our faces. I hadn’t worn a hat because I was having a good hair day. At least my hair was long and covered my ears. Abel wasn’t wearing a hat either, but he had his curls. My jacket was pretty delusional too. I hated the down coats everyone wore. I wore a chic little pea coat. Fashion before comfort; you can be warm in hell.
Abel and I walked down the middle of the street because there was too much snow on the sidewalk. At the end of the block, a snowplow was stuck, beeping incessantly. We still didn’t say anything. I didn’t know what to say. I just wished he would put his arm around me because I was so cold. I remember thinking how if I were Carly, he would’ve put his arm around me.
We walked to the park without thinking, even though we were freezing and even though it was stupid to be outside. The snow was so deep, we sunk into it up to our knees. Abel swept the snow off the bench, and despite the fact that my teeth were chattering, I sat next to him. I didn’t want to go home.
I waited, but nothing happened, so I finally took his arm and put it over my shoulder. I was worried that he might take it away, but he didn’t. I think he wasn’t worried about being seen; everyone else was either inside or frozen to death. It didn’t make me feel the way I hoped it would. There wasn’t anyone there to see, and that’s what I really wanted.
I put my hand on his lap and started rubbing his jeans. I couldn’t really feel it because my fingers were so numb. He looked around, but there was no one. He let me unzip his jeans, and pushed my head down on his lap as his head hung over the back of the bench. He tasted like a girl. My stomach swirled. My nose was running, and my mouth was dry.
He didn’t even notice when I cried.
14
Fight Sequence
M y grandma came over to take me and Keefer to church the next
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