Warm and Witty Side of Attila the Hun by Jeffrey Sackett Page A
Authors: Jeffrey Sackett
Tags: Humor
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Zwingli maintained that the bread and wine merely symbolized the Body and Blood of Christ; Luther maintained that there existed a sacramental union by which Christ's true body and blood were really present "in, with, and under the bread and wine." Christ, Luther argued, did not say "This symbolizes my body," or "This symbolizes my blood"; His words were very clear.
It was also clear to all present that they had reached an impasse when in mid-argument Luther took a piece of chalk from a pocket in his robe and wrote in the center of the round table the words Hoc est corpus meum , "This is my body." He then circled the Latin quotation, sat back, glowered at Zwingli, and said not another word.
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Oliver Cromwell, Lord High Protector of the Puritan Commonwealth of England after the execution of King Charles I, had an interesting perspective on both faith and food. It was customary to say grace before meals (ask the blessing, give thanks, etc.), and Cromwell's grace was to say the least an unusual one:
"Some have appetite and no meat. Some have meat and no appetite. I have both. Thanks be to God!"
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When St. Francis of Assisi announced his decision to become a monk, his father was furious. His father was a successful, wealthy merchant who had prospered greatly from the Commercial Revolution then beginning in Italy , and he had every expectation that his son would follow in his footsteps. For young Francis to choose a life of poverty (i.e., abandoning the family business), chastity (i.e., no grandchildren for his parents), and obedience (but not to him) was incomprehensible to his father. When he confronted his son in the public square, surrounded by curious onlookers, his father tried every argument he could think of to talk his son out of the foolish future he had chosen, all to no avail. At last he resorted to parental authority: "You must obey me! If it weren't for me, you wouldn't even have the clothes you are wearing!"
Whereupon Francis stripped naked, turned, and walked away.
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In 1414, Jan Hus, the Bohemian (i.e., Czech) religious reformer (or heretic, as Roman Catholics would have it) travelled to Constance , Switzerland , to defend his views before an ecumenical council of the Church. Though he had already been excommunicated and his life was thus in danger, he trusted the guarantee of safe passage he had been granted by Sigismund, the Holy Roman Emperor. He shouldn't have. He was tried for heresy, convicted, and burned at the stake.
Bohemia and England had been closely connected ever since Princess Anna of Bohemia had married King Richard II of England in 1382, and events in each country were closely followed in the other. In the Czech language the name Hus means "goose"; and when Hus was burned at the stake, the English added the expression "His goose is cooked" to their figures of speech.
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When asked about the afterlife, Confucius said, âNot know life. How know death?â (Literal translation from the Chinese.) And when asked about reputation, Confucius said, âIt is not sufficient to be loved by righteous men. One must seek also to be hated by unrighteous men.â
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Not wishing to be a lightning rod for trouble, the author has chosen to phrase the following anecdote in a somewhat vague manner.
When a small religious minority in a certain city did not accept a certain person as a prophet, he ordered the execution of the men in their community, some 800 in all. They were beheaded in groups of six, their heads and bodies cast immediately into a long trench. After all 800 had been killed, their property was distributed amongst their murderers. The property included over 1000 women (who were, of course, property, not people), one of whom was particularly beautiful. This religious leader claimed her as his own, and he asked her to marry him. The woman, whose husband, father, and brothers had just been beheaded, for some inexplicable reason declined the honor.
Mohandas Karamchand
It was also clear to all present that they had reached an impasse when in mid-argument Luther took a piece of chalk from a pocket in his robe and wrote in the center of the round table the words Hoc est corpus meum , "This is my body." He then circled the Latin quotation, sat back, glowered at Zwingli, and said not another word.
Â
Oliver Cromwell, Lord High Protector of the Puritan Commonwealth of England after the execution of King Charles I, had an interesting perspective on both faith and food. It was customary to say grace before meals (ask the blessing, give thanks, etc.), and Cromwell's grace was to say the least an unusual one:
"Some have appetite and no meat. Some have meat and no appetite. I have both. Thanks be to God!"
Â
When St. Francis of Assisi announced his decision to become a monk, his father was furious. His father was a successful, wealthy merchant who had prospered greatly from the Commercial Revolution then beginning in Italy , and he had every expectation that his son would follow in his footsteps. For young Francis to choose a life of poverty (i.e., abandoning the family business), chastity (i.e., no grandchildren for his parents), and obedience (but not to him) was incomprehensible to his father. When he confronted his son in the public square, surrounded by curious onlookers, his father tried every argument he could think of to talk his son out of the foolish future he had chosen, all to no avail. At last he resorted to parental authority: "You must obey me! If it weren't for me, you wouldn't even have the clothes you are wearing!"
Whereupon Francis stripped naked, turned, and walked away.
Â
In 1414, Jan Hus, the Bohemian (i.e., Czech) religious reformer (or heretic, as Roman Catholics would have it) travelled to Constance , Switzerland , to defend his views before an ecumenical council of the Church. Though he had already been excommunicated and his life was thus in danger, he trusted the guarantee of safe passage he had been granted by Sigismund, the Holy Roman Emperor. He shouldn't have. He was tried for heresy, convicted, and burned at the stake.
Bohemia and England had been closely connected ever since Princess Anna of Bohemia had married King Richard II of England in 1382, and events in each country were closely followed in the other. In the Czech language the name Hus means "goose"; and when Hus was burned at the stake, the English added the expression "His goose is cooked" to their figures of speech.
Â
When asked about the afterlife, Confucius said, âNot know life. How know death?â (Literal translation from the Chinese.) And when asked about reputation, Confucius said, âIt is not sufficient to be loved by righteous men. One must seek also to be hated by unrighteous men.â
Â
Not wishing to be a lightning rod for trouble, the author has chosen to phrase the following anecdote in a somewhat vague manner.
When a small religious minority in a certain city did not accept a certain person as a prophet, he ordered the execution of the men in their community, some 800 in all. They were beheaded in groups of six, their heads and bodies cast immediately into a long trench. After all 800 had been killed, their property was distributed amongst their murderers. The property included over 1000 women (who were, of course, property, not people), one of whom was particularly beautiful. This religious leader claimed her as his own, and he asked her to marry him. The woman, whose husband, father, and brothers had just been beheaded, for some inexplicable reason declined the honor.
Mohandas Karamchand
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