the hell than she could ever
understand.
A voice
behind me catches my attention and turn to watch as Beth is telling
a table of people about me and Todd kissing at the bar and then
leaving together and me not returning home till this morning, I
turn back to see Tucker watching me, his eyes full of
remorse.
“ Seeing as
though we had an eventful night last night, I’m guessing I should
walk you to class” Todd whispers in my ear, seemingly appearing out
of thin air, making me smile.
“ I guess you
should” I agree and tearing my eyes away from Tuckers turn to
leave.
“ Oh I don’t
have a phone anymore as I guess you know, so I’ll be getting a new
one as soon as my classes have finished for the day, leave your
number on the notice board in our room and I’ll send you my new
one” I tell Sophie as I walk away from all the stares and
whispers.
Todd
accompanied me to the rest of my classes and acted as a human wall
between me and Tucker, as he walked me back to my dorm after
shopping for a new phone I finally gave in to all the
gossip.
“ So what did I
miss, what did we get up to last night?” I ask
reluctantly.
“ Well some say
we were all over each other at the bar and couldn’t wait till we
got to a bed so just had the taxi stop at the park on the way home
and fell asleep in the grass” he smirks “And the rest think that we
made it back to mine but then you had some sort of breakdown and
got drunk in the park” he smiles sympathetically at that
one.
“ Great” I sigh
defeated.
“ And now
everyone’s talking about how you and Beth are fighting over
Tucker”
“ You’re not
serious?” I ask a little too loudly causing a few heads to turn.
“Out of all the rumours that ones definitely the most far fetched”
he raises an eyebrow at me and I guess my reaction probably falls
under the does protest too much category, but no one else knows
what he told her apart from Sophie and Matt. “Trust me, I could
happily never talk to him ever again and be happy” I
stress.
* *
*
The next five
days go by in a blur, I’m physically here but not mentally. I get
through my days going to from class to class, nodding in the right
places and taking down the notes, today is the first day I have sat
down with the group and had lunch normally I just walk around
campus in a daze, Beth has stayed away from me, in fact everyone
has stayed away from me, just letting me get on with it. Every now
and again I catch Sophie watching me looking worried and Tucker
watching me as if he’s struggling with something.
Every night I
wait for Sophie to fall asleep and then sneak out of the room, go
to my dad’s grave and cry myself to sleep there. I haven’t heard
from anyone back home but then I don’t expect to, I know
when he wants to see me he will. To be honest I am
really worried about what he will do to me when he eventually comes
to see me, I know it is going to be a lot worse than anything he
has ever done before. I’m going to have to be strong to pull
through because I know he might just try to kill me. I can’t. No I
won’t let him. I have to be strong enough to fight through
it.
“ Damn it
Brooke” I focus my eyes and frown at Matt who is shouting at me.
Everyone is watching me and Matt leans over and takes the fork out
of my hand, I look down and see blood trickling onto wrist, I had
be digging the fork into my palm. I didn’t feel a thing.
“ Umm .. sorry”
I mutter more to myself than anyone else.
“ What were you
thinking about to get you so angry?” Sophie asks me throwing a
pointed look at Tucker who pales slightly. I’m too focused on the
fact that I just cut myself with a fork and didn’t feel a thing,
how can I hurt so badly and not feel it? I need to be able to feel
it to know when can’t take no more, otherwise what use will it
be.
“ I hurt him” I
say to no one.
“ You hurt who
honey?” Sophie says softly.
“ I hit him …
and I couldn’t stop”
“ Who?”
understand.
A voice
behind me catches my attention and turn to watch as Beth is telling
a table of people about me and Todd kissing at the bar and then
leaving together and me not returning home till this morning, I
turn back to see Tucker watching me, his eyes full of
remorse.
“ Seeing as
though we had an eventful night last night, I’m guessing I should
walk you to class” Todd whispers in my ear, seemingly appearing out
of thin air, making me smile.
“ I guess you
should” I agree and tearing my eyes away from Tuckers turn to
leave.
“ Oh I don’t
have a phone anymore as I guess you know, so I’ll be getting a new
one as soon as my classes have finished for the day, leave your
number on the notice board in our room and I’ll send you my new
one” I tell Sophie as I walk away from all the stares and
whispers.
Todd
accompanied me to the rest of my classes and acted as a human wall
between me and Tucker, as he walked me back to my dorm after
shopping for a new phone I finally gave in to all the
gossip.
“ So what did I
miss, what did we get up to last night?” I ask
reluctantly.
“ Well some say
we were all over each other at the bar and couldn’t wait till we
got to a bed so just had the taxi stop at the park on the way home
and fell asleep in the grass” he smirks “And the rest think that we
made it back to mine but then you had some sort of breakdown and
got drunk in the park” he smiles sympathetically at that
one.
“ Great” I sigh
defeated.
“ And now
everyone’s talking about how you and Beth are fighting over
Tucker”
“ You’re not
serious?” I ask a little too loudly causing a few heads to turn.
“Out of all the rumours that ones definitely the most far fetched”
he raises an eyebrow at me and I guess my reaction probably falls
under the does protest too much category, but no one else knows
what he told her apart from Sophie and Matt. “Trust me, I could
happily never talk to him ever again and be happy” I
stress.
* *
*
The next five
days go by in a blur, I’m physically here but not mentally. I get
through my days going to from class to class, nodding in the right
places and taking down the notes, today is the first day I have sat
down with the group and had lunch normally I just walk around
campus in a daze, Beth has stayed away from me, in fact everyone
has stayed away from me, just letting me get on with it. Every now
and again I catch Sophie watching me looking worried and Tucker
watching me as if he’s struggling with something.
Every night I
wait for Sophie to fall asleep and then sneak out of the room, go
to my dad’s grave and cry myself to sleep there. I haven’t heard
from anyone back home but then I don’t expect to, I know
when he wants to see me he will. To be honest I am
really worried about what he will do to me when he eventually comes
to see me, I know it is going to be a lot worse than anything he
has ever done before. I’m going to have to be strong to pull
through because I know he might just try to kill me. I can’t. No I
won’t let him. I have to be strong enough to fight through
it.
“ Damn it
Brooke” I focus my eyes and frown at Matt who is shouting at me.
Everyone is watching me and Matt leans over and takes the fork out
of my hand, I look down and see blood trickling onto wrist, I had
be digging the fork into my palm. I didn’t feel a thing.
“ Umm .. sorry”
I mutter more to myself than anyone else.
“ What were you
thinking about to get you so angry?” Sophie asks me throwing a
pointed look at Tucker who pales slightly. I’m too focused on the
fact that I just cut myself with a fork and didn’t feel a thing,
how can I hurt so badly and not feel it? I need to be able to feel
it to know when can’t take no more, otherwise what use will it
be.
“ I hurt him” I
say to no one.
“ You hurt who
honey?” Sophie says softly.
“ I hit him …
and I couldn’t stop”
“ Who?”
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