Waiting for Jo by srbrdshaw Page A

that? Maybe he doesn’t want to be with me, but he doesn’t
want me to be with anyone else to either. The thought makes me
completely angry. I just can’t hold it in any longer. I may still
be a little buzzed, but I need to let him know how I feel.
    E-mail seems like the best option. I can say
whatever I need to say without being interrupted or losing my
courage halfway through.
     
    To: James Parker
    From: Josephine O’Shea
     
    James,
     
    There’s something that I need to get off of
my chest. Since I started working for you, you’ve been flirting
with me and making passes at me. You’ve also been acting jealous
and prying into my personal life. This behavior is inappropriate,
and unless you plan on exploring the possibility of getting back
together, it needs to stop. You broke my heart when you left me,
and I’m having a very difficult time getting over you. It doesn’t
help when you act the way you do.
     
    I’m sorry, but if you’re not interested in
more than friendship, then we both need to behave in a professional
manner while we’re working together. The ball is in your court.
It’s time to make a decision.
     
    Sincerely,
     
    Jo
     
    I read over the e-mail a few times and
consider deleting it. I think that it would break my heart even
more if James said that he wanted to just be friends and keep
things professional. At least when he’s flirting with me and being
curious about my personal life I feel like there’s some hope,
little tiny bits of hope, but hope nonetheless. But I know what’s
best for me. If I let this behavior continue, I’m never going to be
able to move on. My cursor arrow hovers over the send button in my
e-mail for several seconds until I finally muster the courage to
tap the touchpad on my laptop, sending the message into
cyberspace.
    No going back now.
    I put my laptop away and lie awake, hoping
that my phone will beep, alerting me to a new e-mail message, but
at the same time dreading the contents of that forthcoming
message.
    After an hour or so I still haven’t received
a response from James and lying in the dark, constructing scenarios
in my head about why is driving me crazy. I look over at my camera
bag and remember that I have some undeveloped film from the concert
at the botanical gardens. I put on my robe and slippers and grab
the bag. A little time in the dark room should distract me for a
while.
    I cross my backyard and unlock the little
shed that I turned into a dark room about a year ago. I haven’t
been in here in months and it shows. I take a few minutes to wipe
away the dust on the counters and clear away some of the cobwebs.
Malcolm lies down on an old blanket in the corner and falls
asleep.
    I place all of my tools in front of me before
turning off the lights. I then pop open the film canister, remove
the film, load the film onto the film reel, and place the reel
inside the developing tank. I add the developer to the tank and
shake it for thirty seconds or so before adding the stop bath. I
then dump the stop bath, add the fixer, and then repeat with the
hypo-clearing agent.
    After a few minutes, my film is developed,
and I remove it from the reel. This is my favorite part of the
process. I pull the negatives from the reel, and look at each
frame. I smile as I see Will’s handsome face and the Funky Butt
Brass Band rocking out.
    Just as I’m about to hang the film to dry, I
notice a familiar looking face on one of the negatives. A chill
runs up my spine. Is that Dickey? It certainly looks like him, but
it’s so hard to tell. The person is standing far away in the
background, and the negative is too small. I finish hanging the
film and wish that I didn’t have to wait to make prints. As soon as
I do, I’ll know whether that’s Dickey in the shot.
    But that will have to wait until tomorrow.
It’s late and it will take a few hours for the negatives to dry
completely. I start cleaning up the mess I’ve made so that I can go
to bed, but just before I’m