Gavin.”
She looked away. “Tom, Kelly, and Ben were there too.”
“What!” I couldn’t believe it. “How am I going to face anyone now? I just need to leave and go home.”
I got up, ready to start packing. I’d have to find a job back in Boston. “Becca, stop it. They’re your friends.”
“No, they’re your friends. Big difference.”
She looked hurt by my words, but they were the truth. “They want to be your friends too.”
“I can’t do this.”
“If anyone should be humiliated , it’s Gavin, not you. What do you have to be embarrassed about?”
“You ’ r e joking right ? Because being completely inexperienced and flipping out when a guy di dn’t want me isn’t embarrassing?”
“Being inexperienced isn’t shameful , and you got upset because a guy treated you badly—it’s not that he didn’t want you .”
“Whatever you say.” Even I could hear the coldness in my voice.
“You could have told me though. You didn’t have to shut me out and hide.” The hurt in her voice was crystal clear, but I was the one who had to live through the experience . Still, my telling her brother-in-law first might have been a slap in the face.
“I didn’t want to be that girl, you know?”
“I know.” Something about the way Molly said it made her words ring true. She’d certainly been through her share of hard times, so she probably understood the need to keep things private.
“I don’t see how I can face any of them , e specially not Gavin. He’s probably regretting what happened even more now.” It hurt to say those words. I didn’t want him to regret it.
“I already told you he didn’t regret it. You don’t have to be embarrassed to face him, and it’s no reason to leave.”
There was a louder knock on the door . I knew with a sinking feeling it wasn’t Kelly.
I looked at Molly, letting her know I wanted her to deal with it. She opened the door and slipped outside, but not before I saw Gavin looking in at me. I wanted to disappear .
Molly came back inside, closing the door most of the way. “He wants to talk to you. But you don’t have to, you know.”
“What is this, sixth grade again?”
I tried to fix my hair a little, glad I was wearing yoga pants and not pajamas, and walked to the door. “Yes?” I made myself look up at him.
He looked nervously down at me. “Can we talk?”
“Sure.” I walked over to sit on the lounge chair I’d been sitting on when I opened up to Jake about my non-existent sex life . Real great decision that was.
Molly looked at me.
I nodded. “You can go . I p romise we’ll hang out tomorrow. ”
“Okay, if you’re sure .” She waved and slowly walked away.
I looked back at Gavin, who sat down next to me. “So…”
“I’m sorry.”
“What exactly are you sorry for? For sleeping with me?”
He shook his head and looked alarmed. “No! No, that’s not it. I’m not sorry for that.”
“You sure seemed that way last week.”
“I was just being an idiot.”
“So why are you here exactly?”
“I can’t stop thinking about you, Becca. I only said those things because I thought it would make everything easier, but obviously all I did was screw things up more.”
“And?”
“And, well, would you maybe want to go out some time?” He gave me this half smile that did something to my stomach—but I ignored it.
“Is this a joke?”
“No, of course not.”
“Listen, Gavin. You didn’t have to come here to apologize. I’m a big girl, and I can handle it. I’m only going to be around another few months—so it’s not that big of a deal.”
“But it is a big deal. I don’t want to avoid you . I want to see you more.”
“You had it right the first time.” I picked up my chin and forced myself to meet his eye s .
“What are you saying?”
“Let’s just pretend it never happened. Good night.” I got up and headed inside.
“Becca, wait. Please, let’s talk about this.”
I closed the door behind me
She looked away. “Tom, Kelly, and Ben were there too.”
“What!” I couldn’t believe it. “How am I going to face anyone now? I just need to leave and go home.”
I got up, ready to start packing. I’d have to find a job back in Boston. “Becca, stop it. They’re your friends.”
“No, they’re your friends. Big difference.”
She looked hurt by my words, but they were the truth. “They want to be your friends too.”
“I can’t do this.”
“If anyone should be humiliated , it’s Gavin, not you. What do you have to be embarrassed about?”
“You ’ r e joking right ? Because being completely inexperienced and flipping out when a guy di dn’t want me isn’t embarrassing?”
“Being inexperienced isn’t shameful , and you got upset because a guy treated you badly—it’s not that he didn’t want you .”
“Whatever you say.” Even I could hear the coldness in my voice.
“You could have told me though. You didn’t have to shut me out and hide.” The hurt in her voice was crystal clear, but I was the one who had to live through the experience . Still, my telling her brother-in-law first might have been a slap in the face.
“I didn’t want to be that girl, you know?”
“I know.” Something about the way Molly said it made her words ring true. She’d certainly been through her share of hard times, so she probably understood the need to keep things private.
“I don’t see how I can face any of them , e specially not Gavin. He’s probably regretting what happened even more now.” It hurt to say those words. I didn’t want him to regret it.
“I already told you he didn’t regret it. You don’t have to be embarrassed to face him, and it’s no reason to leave.”
There was a louder knock on the door . I knew with a sinking feeling it wasn’t Kelly.
I looked at Molly, letting her know I wanted her to deal with it. She opened the door and slipped outside, but not before I saw Gavin looking in at me. I wanted to disappear .
Molly came back inside, closing the door most of the way. “He wants to talk to you. But you don’t have to, you know.”
“What is this, sixth grade again?”
I tried to fix my hair a little, glad I was wearing yoga pants and not pajamas, and walked to the door. “Yes?” I made myself look up at him.
He looked nervously down at me. “Can we talk?”
“Sure.” I walked over to sit on the lounge chair I’d been sitting on when I opened up to Jake about my non-existent sex life . Real great decision that was.
Molly looked at me.
I nodded. “You can go . I p romise we’ll hang out tomorrow. ”
“Okay, if you’re sure .” She waved and slowly walked away.
I looked back at Gavin, who sat down next to me. “So…”
“I’m sorry.”
“What exactly are you sorry for? For sleeping with me?”
He shook his head and looked alarmed. “No! No, that’s not it. I’m not sorry for that.”
“You sure seemed that way last week.”
“I was just being an idiot.”
“So why are you here exactly?”
“I can’t stop thinking about you, Becca. I only said those things because I thought it would make everything easier, but obviously all I did was screw things up more.”
“And?”
“And, well, would you maybe want to go out some time?” He gave me this half smile that did something to my stomach—but I ignored it.
“Is this a joke?”
“No, of course not.”
“Listen, Gavin. You didn’t have to come here to apologize. I’m a big girl, and I can handle it. I’m only going to be around another few months—so it’s not that big of a deal.”
“But it is a big deal. I don’t want to avoid you . I want to see you more.”
“You had it right the first time.” I picked up my chin and forced myself to meet his eye s .
“What are you saying?”
“Let’s just pretend it never happened. Good night.” I got up and headed inside.
“Becca, wait. Please, let’s talk about this.”
I closed the door behind me
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