Until Today by Pam Fluttert

hours.
    I can still see Taylor’s haunted eyes when she denied everything after I asked her to talk to Aunt Sheila.
    â€œWe don’t need help. We’re happy.”
    My heart sank. She was going backwards. I struggled to control my panic and frustration. I squeezed Taylor’s hand, trying to gather my thoughts. “I know you’re happy. Wouldn’t you like to be even happier?”
    Taylor was silent for a moment. “I don’t know.”
    â€œWould your very own Peter Rabbit book make you happier?”
    Taylor nodded, the corners of her mouth lifting slightly.
    â€œOkay. What about playing at the park? Would that make you happier?”
    She nodded again.
    I looked out the window, trying to figure out what else to say. Flaming red and orange leaves twirled down from the trees. Of course, what kid doesn’t like playing in the leaves this time of year.
    I looked back at Taylor. “You know what made me happy? Once I helped my dad rake the leaves on our lawn into a big pile, and then I jumped in them.”
    Taylor’s eyes widened. “Did he get mad?”
    â€œNo, he jumped in with me.” An image of Dad and me jumping in the leaves flashed through my head. It made me sad to realize we haven’t had fun like that for so long.
    Taylor’s eyes grew even wider. “Really?” she whispered.
    â€œYeah, and then we raked them up and did it all over again. Would something like that make you happier?”
    Taylor’s awed expression disappeared. Her eyes glazed, and her face took on a ghost-like pallor. “My dad would get really mad. You must have a nice dad.”
    â€œYeah, I suppose I do.” Dad and I have our problems, especially with communication, but he’s a good guy.
    â€œTaylor, if we could get help for your daddy, he could learn how to control his anger. Then you could do everything we talked about, and more.”
    Taylor nodded and wiped her tears.
    â€œAre you ready for me to call Dr. Williams?”
    â€œYes,” she whispered.

    â€œWell, we’re home.” Mom’s voice brings me back to the present.
    â€œThanks for picking me up.” I open the door and dodge into the house, avoiding any further conversation with Mom.
    Dad is in his office, talking on the phone. I sneak to my room, closing the door behind me so I don’t have to face anyone. Relieved, I flop on the bed and stare at the ceiling.
    I can’t believe so much could happen in a single day. Within a few hours, Taylor’s life has changed forever.
    My heart breaks for Taylor and what she is going through. But, for the first time in her life, things can only get better for her. I promised her that she would be able to jump into a pile of leaves as soon as she was stronger.
    So why am I not feeling better?
    I sit up and stare at the mirror as my image blurs and changes. A girl, who looks to be about six, stares back at me. She has blonde pigtails, a spattering of freckles across her nose, and two missing front teeth. She looks like any other child, except for the fear reflected in her eyes. A tear runs down the child’s face. I reach up and feel wetness on my cheek.
    Tenderness and love for this child fills me, just like it did the first time I saw Taylor.
    â€œYou don’t deserve it, either. But I don’t know how to help you,” I whisper to the child.
    Her sad face starts to fade. No, don’t go!
    I rise from the bed and approach the mirror. The child is gone, replaced by my reflection.
    I have to fight for that little girl. She deserves a life without fear, too. She needs to play without listening for his voice. She needs to feel safe in her home without him walking through the door. She needs to know her parents will always love her and take her side over his .
    That child is inside you. That child needs you right now.
    I shake my head. That child is gone.
    I can’t think this through without my journal. I open the bedroom