our staff who was a terrific guy. Good person. And when he was first hired, he did a great job. But over time, he had either outgrown his job or he needed more challenge than we could at that point provide for him. Either way, things had shifted. He started coming late to meetings and staring at his computer during them. (Don’t even get me started on that one!) Generally, he was doing a pretty mediocre job all around.
But he had been with us long enough that I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. I wanted to give him more time and understanding. I waited six months before having a direct conversation about the entropy I was seeing. That was five months and twenty-one days too long.
I was obligated to have that difficult conversation with him at the first sign of entropy. Here’s the deal: Probably about eleven times out of ten, the answer to your most burning leadership issue is to have the conversation .
I know, I wish it was a different answer too. But it’s not, so we might as well start practicing now.
Have the conversation.
When a conversation is going to be difficult, or when I’m not really sure what is actually going on or what thecore issue might be, I have always found it helpful to start out with observations and questions. Savethe direct statements for when there is unhealthy resistance or a blatant refusal to see the truth. Observations are not judgments, and they provide common ground for understanding. Observations imply that this is simply something you are seeing from an outside perspective and that you acknowledge there may be something you are missing or are not understanding correctly. Observations leave room for explanations that will completely resolve everything.
Questions imply the need for more information. Now of course you can ask a question that isn’t really a question, but rather a statement or an accusation. Those are not the kind of questions I am talking about. Real questions, the kind that help you to get an accurate picture of the situation and/or realize you need to talk to other people, help you to fill in the blanks and cross-check. At the very least, questions help you to start the conversation out on a level playing field.
And if it turns out you are on to something, you have started the conversation in a way that hopefully will position you to move toward resolution. These difficult conversations will have give and take, truth and grace, embarrassment and hope. You will have to listen, speak with boldness, forgive, understand, hold accountable, and ask for apologies. And then, most likely, you’ll have to have more conversations before it is all over. If your response to all of this is “I don’t have time for this,” you are neglecting the obligations of leadership. Sorry to have to be the one to say it. I didn’t like it the first time I heard it either.
Another thing these kind of conversations do is to createleaders who know what is going on in their organizations and allow everyone in the organization to know that they know. So many leaders are clueless about so many important things—not micromanaging kinds of things, but things like recognizing and responding to bad attitudes, poor work ethics, excuse making, blame shifting, underperformance, cynicism, and lack of results. The conversation at least implies that this is not okay.
One other type of bad fit that can affect an organization is the employee who holds everyone else hostage—the diva, the rock star. Got a name that’s already popped up in your head? Certain people, often very gifted people, refuse to be team players. They do what they want, when they want. Their area is clearly the only area they care about, and everyone knows it. When their area is a central engineto the organization, the problem is magnified even more.
It is dangerous to allow any one person to wield thatmuch power, and therefore that much energy, in the organization. As soon as you, the leader, have convinced
But he had been with us long enough that I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. I wanted to give him more time and understanding. I waited six months before having a direct conversation about the entropy I was seeing. That was five months and twenty-one days too long.
I was obligated to have that difficult conversation with him at the first sign of entropy. Here’s the deal: Probably about eleven times out of ten, the answer to your most burning leadership issue is to have the conversation .
I know, I wish it was a different answer too. But it’s not, so we might as well start practicing now.
Have the conversation.
When a conversation is going to be difficult, or when I’m not really sure what is actually going on or what thecore issue might be, I have always found it helpful to start out with observations and questions. Savethe direct statements for when there is unhealthy resistance or a blatant refusal to see the truth. Observations are not judgments, and they provide common ground for understanding. Observations imply that this is simply something you are seeing from an outside perspective and that you acknowledge there may be something you are missing or are not understanding correctly. Observations leave room for explanations that will completely resolve everything.
Questions imply the need for more information. Now of course you can ask a question that isn’t really a question, but rather a statement or an accusation. Those are not the kind of questions I am talking about. Real questions, the kind that help you to get an accurate picture of the situation and/or realize you need to talk to other people, help you to fill in the blanks and cross-check. At the very least, questions help you to start the conversation out on a level playing field.
And if it turns out you are on to something, you have started the conversation in a way that hopefully will position you to move toward resolution. These difficult conversations will have give and take, truth and grace, embarrassment and hope. You will have to listen, speak with boldness, forgive, understand, hold accountable, and ask for apologies. And then, most likely, you’ll have to have more conversations before it is all over. If your response to all of this is “I don’t have time for this,” you are neglecting the obligations of leadership. Sorry to have to be the one to say it. I didn’t like it the first time I heard it either.
Another thing these kind of conversations do is to createleaders who know what is going on in their organizations and allow everyone in the organization to know that they know. So many leaders are clueless about so many important things—not micromanaging kinds of things, but things like recognizing and responding to bad attitudes, poor work ethics, excuse making, blame shifting, underperformance, cynicism, and lack of results. The conversation at least implies that this is not okay.
One other type of bad fit that can affect an organization is the employee who holds everyone else hostage—the diva, the rock star. Got a name that’s already popped up in your head? Certain people, often very gifted people, refuse to be team players. They do what they want, when they want. Their area is clearly the only area they care about, and everyone knows it. When their area is a central engineto the organization, the problem is magnified even more.
It is dangerous to allow any one person to wield thatmuch power, and therefore that much energy, in the organization. As soon as you, the leader, have convinced
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