Leaving Paradise by Simone Elkeles

slower than before. I swear, a year ago I’d be jumping her bones before we even reached my room.
    “What’s wrong?” she says.
    I shake my head, rub my hand over my hair, and take a deep breath. Fuck. I’m screwing everything up.
    She rests her head on my shoulder and places her arm across my stomach. It feels real good and I’m glad she doesn’t make me talk about it. Maybe she gets it, maybe she understands I can’t verbalize my fucked-up thoughts. But then she starts getting restless after a few minutes and sits up. “I should probably go back to the festival before my parents find out where I’ve gone.”
    In the end she doesn’t understand. Just like everyone else.
    With a flip of her hair over her shoulders, she slips her shoes back on and stands up.
    I convince myself things will get back to normal soon enough. I’m back home, I have my girl again. Okay, I’ll admit things are strange between us. Her hair is fake, her lips taste different, and her kisses are frantic instead of sexy.
    “I saw you talking to Samantha Hunter in the hall yesterday,” she says, turning back and looking at me.
    I sit up and lean against my headboard, still shirtless. “Yeah, she wanted to know if I’ll wrestle this year.”
    Kendra blows out an annoyed breath. “You don’t think she’s cute, do you?”
    I shrug. “She’s all right, I guess.”
    “Because girls like that are totally manipulative.”
    “I’m not lookin’ at other girls, Kend, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
    “That’s good.” The corners of her mouth turn up, but then she bites down on her lower lip. “I’m glad you’re back, but . . .”
    “But what?” I ask.
    “Can we keep this thing between us a secret, Caleb? The kids at school are expecting a big show between you and me, and I don’t want it to get weird. Besides, my dad is up for election in November and he’s already forbidden me to have any contact with you. It’ll be best if nobody knows about this right now.”
    Her comments shouldn’t surprise me, but they do. I just say, “That’s cool,” because, well, what else can I say?
    Following Kendra out to her car, I wonder what our lives would have been like if I hadn’t been locked up. I wouldn’t have to keep our relationship a damn secret, that’s for sure.
    When we’re in the front yard, Kendra climbs into her car. Then she opens her purse and pulls out a tube of lip gloss. Twisting the rearview mirror, she carefully glides on more cherry gloss, essentially erasing away our power make-out session. When her lips are as glossy as when she came here, she drives off.
    Shaking my head, I head back inside. I spot the picture of Kendra when I get to my room. Removing it from my headboard, I stare at it.
    It’s hard keeping everything the same when the same things look and feel so different.

eighteen
    Maggie
    I’m wearing a long print dress that touches the ground and a powder blue sweater over it. Mom bought me the dress because she knows how I feel about exposing any part of my left leg. Deep down I know she also hopes boys will see me as Maggie Armstrong and not as the girl who got hit by Caleb Becker . Guess what, it’s not going to happen.
    I didn’t have the heart to tell her a pretty dress can’t erase the ugly scars hiding underneath.
    We head over to the Paradise County Fairgrounds. They’ve transformed the fairgrounds into an amusement park, complete with a Ferris wheel and dunking booth. The Ladies’ Auxiliary sponsors the festival each year. Usually the entire town attends.
    The food pavilion is covered in twinkling lights, reminding me of Christmas.
    Mom puts down the brownies she made on the potluck table, then scans the crowd. “Look, there’s Lou,” she says, pointing.
    Sitting next to him is his mother, my boss. “Should we go say hi?” I ask.
    Mom shrugs. “It would be nice.”
    When we reach the table, Mr. Reynolds stands up and smiles. “Linda, glad you made it. Hi, Maggie.”
    “Hi,