of him trapped in a burning building plague me.
He takes my face in his hands. “Trisha . . . I’ll be back.”
I nod, crack open the door to make sure the hall is clear, and push him out the door.
“Be safe,” I whisper.
He nods with a stoic expression and charges down the hall.
Chapter 10: The Dali Lama of Fire Fighting
It takes a great deal of courage to stand up to your enemies, but even more to stand up to your friends. ~J.K. Rowling
It’s a long night as I lie awake and wait for their return. This night could be any night at the station, but for me it’s unlike any other. I feel desperately alive and it makes me want to do crazy things.
I want to climb onto the roof of our station and stand on the buildings edge, my jacket over my p.j.’s, rustling like a cape in the wind. From that vantage point I could see the truck as it ambled back home, the men weary from whatever crisis they faced. Joe would look up and see me cast in silver from the moonlight, and I would have all the answers I needed in his soulful gaze.
But with each hour passing the magic of his kisses fade and instead the reality of our situation takes over my spirit. Nothing has changed about the words that were said about me in the day room. Am I being overly dramatic? I don’t think so. Am I being influenced by the blog of female firefighters I follow when women share stories about how they are treated as lower class citizens in their stations? I can put up with the guys taunting about stupid shit, but they crossed a line this time. I’m going to have to talk to Chief and make some hard decisions about my standing with our team.
As for Joe, there’s no question that I’m infatuated with him. I still have a drunken hangover from his glorious kisses. But what can we be to each other? We’re both dealing with a lot of relationship baggage. I’m not divorced yet and it doesn’t sound like he is either, but much more than that there are rules about fraternization in the firehouse. What a mess. We can’t be kissing in hallways or sneaking off to my private room.
Instead I finally fall asleep some time past three and wake up at 6:15 to my alarm. Screw the gym , I groan. I reach over and pick up my phone. There are three texts, all from Joe.
The first was sent just past four.
We’re heading back. Can I come see you?
The next is at 4:20.
There’s stuff I need to say. Please be awake.
The last is at 4:44.
I’ll wait to hear from you . . . please Trisha.
I set the phone back on the side table and curl up under my covers. My mind is a whirling dervish, so I focus to calm myself and make a plan. I can’t face Joe again until I’ve figured some stuff out. After considering different scenarios I finally decide that I have to speak to Chief first. I can’t go back out and be part of the team after what I overheard yesterday without facing what was said about me head-on. I have to take care of this situation before I do anything else.
And however that conversation goes will undoubtedly have a big impact on my situation with Joe.
As I think I run my fingers over my lips, which still feel swollen with his kisses and it stirs me up. What would’ve happened if the station alarm hadn’t gone off? How far would we have gone?
Something occurs to me and I scoot out of bed and open the bottom drawer of the dresser. I pull out the spiral bound book and run my hand over the front: Van Nuys Department, Administrative Rules and Regulations. Climbing back onto the bed, I open the cover and lean back against the wall.
It only takes a few seconds of skimming through the table of contents to find the section I was looking for.
Section 1—Rule Violations
29. Sexual fraternization between members is expressly prohibited.
It’s not that I’m surprised to read the warning. I’ve read it before. But last time it was of no consequence to me. I was a married woman with absolutely no interest in anyone on my team. Seemingly overnight,
He takes my face in his hands. “Trisha . . . I’ll be back.”
I nod, crack open the door to make sure the hall is clear, and push him out the door.
“Be safe,” I whisper.
He nods with a stoic expression and charges down the hall.
Chapter 10: The Dali Lama of Fire Fighting
It takes a great deal of courage to stand up to your enemies, but even more to stand up to your friends. ~J.K. Rowling
It’s a long night as I lie awake and wait for their return. This night could be any night at the station, but for me it’s unlike any other. I feel desperately alive and it makes me want to do crazy things.
I want to climb onto the roof of our station and stand on the buildings edge, my jacket over my p.j.’s, rustling like a cape in the wind. From that vantage point I could see the truck as it ambled back home, the men weary from whatever crisis they faced. Joe would look up and see me cast in silver from the moonlight, and I would have all the answers I needed in his soulful gaze.
But with each hour passing the magic of his kisses fade and instead the reality of our situation takes over my spirit. Nothing has changed about the words that were said about me in the day room. Am I being overly dramatic? I don’t think so. Am I being influenced by the blog of female firefighters I follow when women share stories about how they are treated as lower class citizens in their stations? I can put up with the guys taunting about stupid shit, but they crossed a line this time. I’m going to have to talk to Chief and make some hard decisions about my standing with our team.
As for Joe, there’s no question that I’m infatuated with him. I still have a drunken hangover from his glorious kisses. But what can we be to each other? We’re both dealing with a lot of relationship baggage. I’m not divorced yet and it doesn’t sound like he is either, but much more than that there are rules about fraternization in the firehouse. What a mess. We can’t be kissing in hallways or sneaking off to my private room.
Instead I finally fall asleep some time past three and wake up at 6:15 to my alarm. Screw the gym , I groan. I reach over and pick up my phone. There are three texts, all from Joe.
The first was sent just past four.
We’re heading back. Can I come see you?
The next is at 4:20.
There’s stuff I need to say. Please be awake.
The last is at 4:44.
I’ll wait to hear from you . . . please Trisha.
I set the phone back on the side table and curl up under my covers. My mind is a whirling dervish, so I focus to calm myself and make a plan. I can’t face Joe again until I’ve figured some stuff out. After considering different scenarios I finally decide that I have to speak to Chief first. I can’t go back out and be part of the team after what I overheard yesterday without facing what was said about me head-on. I have to take care of this situation before I do anything else.
And however that conversation goes will undoubtedly have a big impact on my situation with Joe.
As I think I run my fingers over my lips, which still feel swollen with his kisses and it stirs me up. What would’ve happened if the station alarm hadn’t gone off? How far would we have gone?
Something occurs to me and I scoot out of bed and open the bottom drawer of the dresser. I pull out the spiral bound book and run my hand over the front: Van Nuys Department, Administrative Rules and Regulations. Climbing back onto the bed, I open the cover and lean back against the wall.
It only takes a few seconds of skimming through the table of contents to find the section I was looking for.
Section 1—Rule Violations
29. Sexual fraternization between members is expressly prohibited.
It’s not that I’m surprised to read the warning. I’ve read it before. But last time it was of no consequence to me. I was a married woman with absolutely no interest in anyone on my team. Seemingly overnight,
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