would’ve done if I mentioned my mad parallel parking skills?
I allowed Jens to help me up, and did not even protest when he held my hand and wrapped his arm around my shoulders in what felt like a protective hold. “Please stop making me look like an idiot and get me out of here. My stomach seriously hurts, and you’re just parading me around, showing them how dumb I am.”
“I’ll take you now. I’m sorry. I just wanted to waste a little time out here. Once we get to my place, it’ll be chaos. Thought we could have a little fun first.”
“Fun? You think any of this is fun for me? People laughing at me? You making me look like a fool in front of your snobby groupies?” I hated that his apology actually sounded sincere.
“Your stomach’s really hurting that bad?”
“I just want to lie down somewhere that doesn’t burn through my retinas. Can you be a grownup and make that happen?”
“Yeah.” He clutched me tighter to keep me from falling when I tripped yet again. “Here, hop on my back.”
“Come again?”
“Sure. Hop on. I was being a jerk. Let me make it up to you by being your pack mule.”
I rather liked the sound of that. Pretty much any option to get me out of the blinding sun and open ridicule was nothing to turn my nose up at. “Anything that makes you look like the horse’s backside you are. Alright.” I sized up his back with my hands as he laughed. “Um, you may have to help me. You’re like, a foot taller than me.” He bent down and reached for my hand, helping me up with a swift yank. I held on for dear life, not used to being this high up off the ground. He set off in the direction I assumed his house was in. “I’m not… um, I’m not too heavy?” I weighed the cons of the five-egg omelet I had two mornings ago.
“How much would you hate me if I pretended to fall over from the extra weight right now?”
“Seven.”
“Seven?”
“That’s how much I’d hate you. Seven.”
“Out of how many?”
“Irrelevant. You don’t want me to hate you seven. It’s painful.”
“Yikes.” I could hear the smile in his voice. I hate that it made him seem less of a monster. “Hey, how are you doing?”
Another nicety. I was going to have to work harder to despise him at this rate. I pushed my face to the back of his neck, relaxing when I could no longer see too much light through my shut eyelids. “Oh, you know. New town. New rules. No home. Just another day.”
“Homes are overrated.”
“You’re overrated.”
“Ouch.” He turned his head in my direction. “You know how when you’d move to a new place, you’d keep quiet for a while until you got the lay of the land?”
“Apparently you do,” I grumbled. “Thanks for stalking me for so long. Really. Feels great.”
“You’re welcome. Your family paid me a lot of money to ‘stalk’ you all.”
I thought this over for a minute as he hauled us both up the hill. “So after they died, why’d you stick around? Paychecks had to have stopped then. I know I’m not shelling it out for your stellar services.”
“Alrik pays me. I’ve been working for him for ages. There aren’t many of us still on active duty. Most retired.” He hefted me higher on his hips. “You know those lawn ornament garden gnomes you see in people’s yards? Those get left behind at our last charge’s home when we retire.”
“You already told me that,” I reminded him.
“Well, smarty-pants, it holds a permanent protection charm on the house to keep it safe. Mine’ll stay with you, since I’m bound to your family for the length of my career.” When I did not speak (I mean, honestly, what could I say to that? I’ve probably seen a couple hundred of those creepy things on people’s front lawns and never thought twice about it), Jens pinched my calf. “I know you’ve got a million questions. Hit me.”
“So, there’s lots of you, then?”
“Not anymore. There used to be, but more and more are taking their
I allowed Jens to help me up, and did not even protest when he held my hand and wrapped his arm around my shoulders in what felt like a protective hold. “Please stop making me look like an idiot and get me out of here. My stomach seriously hurts, and you’re just parading me around, showing them how dumb I am.”
“I’ll take you now. I’m sorry. I just wanted to waste a little time out here. Once we get to my place, it’ll be chaos. Thought we could have a little fun first.”
“Fun? You think any of this is fun for me? People laughing at me? You making me look like a fool in front of your snobby groupies?” I hated that his apology actually sounded sincere.
“Your stomach’s really hurting that bad?”
“I just want to lie down somewhere that doesn’t burn through my retinas. Can you be a grownup and make that happen?”
“Yeah.” He clutched me tighter to keep me from falling when I tripped yet again. “Here, hop on my back.”
“Come again?”
“Sure. Hop on. I was being a jerk. Let me make it up to you by being your pack mule.”
I rather liked the sound of that. Pretty much any option to get me out of the blinding sun and open ridicule was nothing to turn my nose up at. “Anything that makes you look like the horse’s backside you are. Alright.” I sized up his back with my hands as he laughed. “Um, you may have to help me. You’re like, a foot taller than me.” He bent down and reached for my hand, helping me up with a swift yank. I held on for dear life, not used to being this high up off the ground. He set off in the direction I assumed his house was in. “I’m not… um, I’m not too heavy?” I weighed the cons of the five-egg omelet I had two mornings ago.
“How much would you hate me if I pretended to fall over from the extra weight right now?”
“Seven.”
“Seven?”
“That’s how much I’d hate you. Seven.”
“Out of how many?”
“Irrelevant. You don’t want me to hate you seven. It’s painful.”
“Yikes.” I could hear the smile in his voice. I hate that it made him seem less of a monster. “Hey, how are you doing?”
Another nicety. I was going to have to work harder to despise him at this rate. I pushed my face to the back of his neck, relaxing when I could no longer see too much light through my shut eyelids. “Oh, you know. New town. New rules. No home. Just another day.”
“Homes are overrated.”
“You’re overrated.”
“Ouch.” He turned his head in my direction. “You know how when you’d move to a new place, you’d keep quiet for a while until you got the lay of the land?”
“Apparently you do,” I grumbled. “Thanks for stalking me for so long. Really. Feels great.”
“You’re welcome. Your family paid me a lot of money to ‘stalk’ you all.”
I thought this over for a minute as he hauled us both up the hill. “So after they died, why’d you stick around? Paychecks had to have stopped then. I know I’m not shelling it out for your stellar services.”
“Alrik pays me. I’ve been working for him for ages. There aren’t many of us still on active duty. Most retired.” He hefted me higher on his hips. “You know those lawn ornament garden gnomes you see in people’s yards? Those get left behind at our last charge’s home when we retire.”
“You already told me that,” I reminded him.
“Well, smarty-pants, it holds a permanent protection charm on the house to keep it safe. Mine’ll stay with you, since I’m bound to your family for the length of my career.” When I did not speak (I mean, honestly, what could I say to that? I’ve probably seen a couple hundred of those creepy things on people’s front lawns and never thought twice about it), Jens pinched my calf. “I know you’ve got a million questions. Hit me.”
“So, there’s lots of you, then?”
“Not anymore. There used to be, but more and more are taking their
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