TTFN by Lauren Myracle Page A

about …
mad maddie:
yessss?
zoegirl:
hold on, first let me ask you something. things aren’t weird between us, are they?
mad maddie:
huh?
zoegirl:
angela thinks it’s strange that we haven’t seen each other much over vacation. but that’s just because we’ve been busy, right?
mad maddie:
duh. why else?
zoegirl:
no other reason at all. i just wanted to make sure.
mad maddie:
so what’s going on that u need to talk about?
zoegirl:
aaargh. it’s about doug. we kind of … hung out together last night.
mad maddie:
oh yeah? did u go to a new year’s eve party?
zoegirl:
no, it was just the two of us.
mad maddie:
as in a DATE?
mad maddie:
does angela know???
zoegirl:
er … that’s part of the problem.
mad maddie:
yeah, i’ll say. angela’s gonna think u purposely waited till she was gone, and then BAM! u stole her man.
zoegirl:
he’s not “her man.” sheesh!
mad maddie:
well, is he YOUR man?
zoegirl:
that’s the other part of the problem. because i don’t know, maddie. i just don’t know!
mad maddie:
explain
zoegirl:
we went to dinner at La Fonda, and that was great. i love their guacamole. and then neither of us wanted to go home, so we went and hung out in the basement of trinity church. doug’s an acolyte, so he’s got the key to the youth group lounge.
mad maddie:
oh god, zoe. again?
zoegirl:
what do u mean, again?
mad maddie:
this doesn’t ring any bells for u? any CHURCH bells, per chance?
zoegirl:
what are you talking about?
mad maddie:
oh, nothing. definitely not a certain holy-roller teacher of yore …
zoegirl:
do u wanna hear my story or not?
mad maddie:
by all means, pray continue
zoegirl:
we were sitting there talking, and it was chilly, so doug told me to come sit on the couch with him because it would be warmer. so i did, and … we kissed.
mad maddie:
holy cow
zoegirl:
that’s not all. we *kept* kissing … and kissing and kissing and kissing. and it’s not like i was swept away or anything, but at the same time ididn’t stop him, you know? i didn’t want to hurt his feelings.
mad maddie:
u didn’t wanna hurt his feelings? u did NOT just say that, zoe.
zoegirl:
anyway, we somehow ended up with both our shirts practically off, but not completely. they were just pushed up really high.
zoegirl:
actually, i was wearing a sweatshirt—and i wasn’t wearing a bra underneath. it was thick enough that i didn’t need to! i didn’t *expect* anyone to find out!
mad maddie:
whoa, zoe! u hussy!
zoegirl:
i know! i’m sure he was pretty startled. but i didn’t *plan* it that way—it just happened!
mad maddie:
and in the church basement, no less. what is it with u and jesus? does he, like, turn u on?
zoegirl:
can we let go of that, please? i knew you would have to say that, and now you have, so that’s over.
mad maddie:
first mr. h, now doug … u give religion a whole new meaning. “hussies for christ”!
zoegirl:
what if doug *does* think i’m a hussy? what if he woke up this morning and was like, “there’s something wrong with her”?
zoegirl:
we did more last night than i’ve ever done with *anyone*. what if he looks down on me now?
mad maddie:
zoe, u r so insane i can hardly stand it. i’m sure he went home with a stiffie, while visions of zoe danced in his head.
zoegirl:
i just wish i didn’t feel guilty. why do i feel guilty?!
mad maddie:
i have nooooo idea. all u did is fool around.
mad maddie:
ooo, do u think u made his scrotum tighten?
zoegirl:
*what*?
mad maddie:
chive’s been reading james joyce, and apparentlythere’s something in one of the books about some guy’s scrotum tightening. it cracked me up.
zoegirl:
okay, please do not talk about that particular part of the body in reference to doug ever again, all right?
mad maddie:
doug has a scrotum, doug has a scrotum!
zoegirl:
i mean it, maddie
mad maddie:
cuz u think