Tracie Peterson by Tidings of Peace Page B

knew Mama needed someone to help her deal with Kenny’s death. She’s been so strong—so brave. She saw the rest of us through the ordeal and always stood fast. She’s helped other mothers with their losses but always kept her heart guarded. She needed you, David. Not because you were or weren’t a war hero. She needed you because you both loved Kenny, and because of that, you could help each other lay him to rest.”
    “Why not find that help with your father or you?” David questioned. “You loved him too. Your father was no doubt just as devastated in losing his only son.”
    Rachel nodded. “Yes, that’s true. We tried to help Mama, but she’s always taken it upon herself to be the backbone of this family. There was no way she was going to stand by and let someone else take that position. She made it through those awful months by helping us cope with the truth. She knew Pop needed someone he could count on—and that someone was her.”
    “I still don’t think I understand.”
    Rachel smiled and continued walking. “You may not like to hear this, but I think my mother sees a lot of herself in you.”
    “That’s impossible. There isn’t a hateful bone in that woman’sbody,” David said, keeping pace beside Rachel.
    “Don’t be so sure. She isn’t perfect and she’d be the first one to tell you that. She knows that people like the Akimotos had nothing to do with Kenny’s death, but she knows there are people who had plenty to do with it.”
    They were nearly back to the house, yet David felt that there was so much he didn’t understand. “If she were like me, she’d show it. There’d be too much anger and hate to keep it inside.”
    “She doesn’t keep it inside,” Rachel said matter-of-factly. “She gives it on a daily, even hourly, basis to God. She told me there was nothing else that could come anywhere near to equaling the productiveness of that single act. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t have her moments, David. It just means she’s found a way to handle her feelings.” They paused at the porch and Rachel reached out to halt David. “There’s something else—something our mother has always said, even well before Pearl Harbor.”
    “What’s that?”
    “Hatred only causes the pain to be more intense. Love eases pain.” The look on her face magnified the love in her voice. “I hope my love will help ease your pain . . . but if not mine, then I know God’s love will.”
    He thought of his arm and how much better he’d felt ever since coming to Longview. Maybe love did ease pain. Maybe just being around love had the power to heal. Then David looked deep into Rachel’s eyes and in his heart he knew she was right. The answer to all his problems was so close at hand, he could nearly touch it. He opened his mouth to say that he didn’t know what to do, but Rachel had already turned to go into the house. Show me , David thought. Show me what to do .

Early on Christmas Eve day, David felt compelled to visit the cemetery. He slipped out of the house well before breakfast and made his way in the growing light of predawn. He knew it probably made no sense to anyone else, but he wanted to go there and apologize. He wanted to come clean with Kenny, and then maybe, just maybe, he could come clean with everything else.
    What he didn’t expect was to find Grandpa Bennett already in attendance. The old man stood in the silent chill of the December morning, hat in hand, murmuring words that David couldn’t quite make out.
    The sight of the old man touched David’s heart. He’d had very few men in his life. Perhaps that was why Kenny had meant so much to him. What had started out as nothing more than a relationship of subordination to a superior had grown in a most compelling manner into friendship.
    “I thought I heard someone,” Grandpa Bennett said, turning to where David had stopped. Uncertain what to say, David only nodded and stepped forward.
    The old man put his hat back on his head