Tracie Peterson by Tidings of Peace Page A

possibility. Hadn’t they stepped up security in some areas? Weren’t they admonished to be watchful? No, if the truth were told, David wasn’t half as mad at the Japanese as he was himself. He was the one who had deserted in the middle of the night. He was the one who had betrayed Kenny’s trust.
    But it was easy to blame it all on the Japanese. Being at war with the Japanese even made it acceptable to feel that way. David could well remember the posters put up around various places in San Francisco.The hospital had been full of them. Perhaps someone had thought them a morale booster. Slap the Jap! Stay on the Job Until Every Murdering Jap Is Wiped Out! Remember Pearl Harbor! Bomb Tokyo With Your Extra Change—Buy War Bonds!
    It was all there. The encouragement to avenge and hate. The country had enemies, and those enemies had to be stopped. If hatred fueled the battle, so what? If it got the job done and saw the enemy defeated, why not allow, even promote, it? It shouldn’t be so appalling to suggest that the Japanese in America were dangerous. Even if they were citizens, they could switch loyalties—anyone could.
    He thought of Rachel and her declaration to him on the night of the Christmas play. He’d feared he might feel uncomfortable around her after that announcement, but nothing could be further from the truth. If anything, he felt just that much more comfortable. She had made it clear to him that he wasn’t a cripple in her eyes. That she loved him as a person in spite of knowing the truth about him. That God could love him too. Was that true? Could it really be possible?
    “Are you ready?” Rachel questioned.
    David glanced up and realized she had probably been standing there for several minutes. He got to his feet slowly. “Sorry, I was just thinking.”
    “What about?”
    “Christmas secrets.” She smiled. He saw the package in her arm and offered to carry it, but she shook her head.
    “Now tell me what you were thinking about.”
    “It’s not so easy,” David began. “I’ve had a great deal to think about since coming to Longview. I guess it’s all just catching up with me. I’ve been thinking about what you said—how you feel about me, even though you know the truth. But there’s something you don’t know.”
    She shifted her package and seemed to consider his words thoughtfully. “Well, let’s head back for home and you do the talking.”
    They crossed the street at a slow, almost leisurely pace and finally David spoke. “I’m not a war hero. I was at Pearl Harbor, that much is true. But I should have been on the Arizona . I should be there still, but I left the night before and went drinking.” He refused to look at her, focusing instead on the sidewalk ahead. “I had duty that weekend and didn’t have permission to be gone. I knew I’d have to faceKenny when I came back. I did him wrong and there are no two ways about it.”
    She said nothing and David grew increasingly tense. Perhaps this was too much to expect anyone to accept. He’d always figured on telling Ruth first, but somehow it seemed right to explain himself to Rachel.
    “I don’t remember everything about that morning. There are bits and pieces, and frankly a good deal of it is probably more imagination than truthful recollection. I wrecked a jeep—a jeep I’d stolen prior to the bombing and it was while trying to escape that wreckage that I fell victim to shrapnel and a concussion from a nearby bomb explosion.” He stopped and turned toward her. She stopped as well and looked at him with huge, sympathetic eyes. “Do you understand what I’m saying? I’m not a hero. I’m not even worthy of being here.”
    “Only God can give life and only God can take it,” she said. “If God had wanted you to die at Pearl Harbor, He had ample opportunity to allow it. You’re here for a reason, David. I think you’re here for several reasons, my own selfish one included, but maybe even more you’re here because God