Torn (Jay Gunner, #1) by Gerald Greene

complicated Joy. I’m not even sure what they want.” I felt like a real creep. Once I started lying the lies seemed to multiply.
    If she knew mom would discipline me.

21 – Screwed
    I spent Tuesday afternoon more concerned about my love life and hidden computer files than trading markets. Joy was quick to notice my lack of trading interest and activity.
    “C’mon man. What’s the problem? I’m giving you time to think things through. I’m not going to trouble Amanda with our little secret.”
    “That’s only part of it. The call from the FBI agent bugs me more. If I cooperate, I’ll be in big trouble. Maybe prison time.”
    Joy pulled her chair close. “That’s hard to believe. Cooperation should help you. Unless you’ve done something wrong.”
    “That’s the problem.”
    “Oh Jay, what crazy thing have you done? I wondered about the apartment break in and attempted kidnapping. I hoped they were just a coincidence.”
    “It’s more than that.”
    “Jeez. You did something with Brian didn’t you? I warned you about that man.”
    “At the time it seemed safe. Now I wish I’d never heard of the guy.”
    “Whoa now, mister. Don’t blame me. When I was dating Brian, I only made the introduction. You’re the man who wanted to do business. After I stopped dating him, I warned you seeing that guy would lead to trouble.”
    “I only blame myself. Don’t think for a minute I blame you.”
    Joy gave me one of her looks. I knew she didn’t care for my foolishness. “So let me get this straight. If you cooperate with the FBI you’re in deep trouble. And if you don’t cooperate?”
    I answered Joy. “Either way I’m in trouble. I feel like the FBI is closing in. And someone else wants those computer files. My life may be in danger.”
    Joy’s eyes widened in horror. “Computer files? Don’t tell me Brian passed top secret NSA files to you.”
    “It’s worse than that. He passed NSA top secret files and information hacked from the Department of Labor database.”
    “So that explains your strong feelings on unemployment report day. Wow! Why can’t you just delete the files?” 
    “Because, even when deleted the FBI or any expert could recover them off the hard drive. I’ve thought of destroying the hard drive, but that would mean destroying Brian’s stolen NSA files. American’s have a right to know they’re spied on. I can’t bring myself to destroy those files on the hard drive, and yet I’m terrified to go public.”
    “Jay, as your friend and sometimes lover, my advice is to get rid of that computer and all the files. It’s not worth risking your life over or going to prison. I’m not the kind of girl who can accept waiting around for years while you’re serving a prison term. I don’t think Amanda is either.”
    “I don’t know what to do. I’m sure of only one thing. I would hate to lose you.”
    “Then destroy those files. Do it before they destroy you, and destroy any dreams we have of being together.” 
    “I hear you. It just seems wrong to stay quiet about the spying. Brian told me he would be off the grid.”
    Joy was becoming upset. She couldn’t believe I was thinking about becoming a whistleblower and going public. “I told you Brian was a smart man. He’s decided to keep his mouth shut and go underground. If you want to keep your sweet life you’d better do the same.”
    “Listen to me. Certain parties, including the FBI, think I have top secret NSA files. Even if I deep six the computer they’re going to keep thinking that. I’m screwed no matter what.”

22 – Nervous
    A manda looked worried and said, “Jay, I’m nervous. What’s going on? At the airport, I bumped into one of my girlfriends. She said you’d made the news. She had a crazy story that you killed two Chinese men who tried to kidnap you. Is that true?”
    “Amanda, I’m afraid it is. I didn’t know the incident made the news. What else did you hear?”
    “Noi told me you were almost