how alien her docile agreement must have sounded. He surely expected her to fight him, or at least make it difficult, given their previous exchanges. She saw his eyebrows go up in surprise and instantly regretted her slip.
‘H ow about tomorrow night then?’ H e wasn’t wasting any time, was he? Or was he testing how far he could go before her fighting spirit finally kicked in?
‘I’m not sure…’ S he let her voice trail off indecisively, imagining her state of mind after the visit with the doctor. Maybe she would be too miserable to see anyone, let alone ready to play a verbal match with a man who considered her barely more than a slut.
‘Tell you what, we can play it by ear . I’ll call you and we can figure something out.’
If she hadn’t known any better, she’d have thought he was concerned about her, Kate thought sarcastically , instantly dismissing the outlandish idea. All he was concerned about was her playing along and making it easy for him ; any hopes he might actually care for her feelings were absurd.
So , they had parted like that, his steps hesitant as he walked back to his car. He turned back to say something, she noticed from the corner of her eye as she was already fishing for her key, eager to escape to the sanctuary of her four walls. Whatever it was, he must have decided against it, because he shrugged and walked on, her sense of relief tinged with only the tiniest tweak of regret she wouldn’t know what it was.
The night hours dragged mercilessly, doing little to calm her already strained nerves. She tried to go to sleep, naively hoping it would make the night pass faster. Taking a shower proved more difficult than she would have ever expected, her hands and eyes carefully avoiding the little scar, already barely visible under the smooth tanned skin of her torso. Was it possible something really lurked inside of her? Something dangerous and unpredictable, akin to a strange animal ready to attack her when she expected it least? She didn’t feel any different, she thought wretchedly, as she blotted the moisture off her skin with one of the beautiful Egyptian cotton towels she had purchased upon her return home. Their delicate, robin ’s- egg blue color had proved irresistible as she gave into the excitement of organizing her home again. It was so much fun to plan for her future, she thought now, her teeth chattering uncontrollably as hysteria finally took over. She had walls she wanted to repaint, faux panels she planned to install, plants waiting to be transplanted… she had a whole life to be lived, brilliant and beautiful, her two - year exile Down Under over.
And then there was Justin , stepping back into her life with an ease that made it almost impossible to dismiss the fact that fate was something not to be kidding with . She had thought about him often enough, wondering and dreading the idea of ever seeing him again. And yet, deep down, after all the layers of self denial and pretense were stripped, she had to admit that meeting him again was something she wouldn’t have given up for anything. He hated her, of course. How could he not? Maybe she was a masochistic person after all . Still, the memory of his eyes watching her warmly in the semidarkness of the pub two years before was something that lingered in the deepest core of her heart, no matter how hard she tried to forget it. The touch of his lips, demanding and yet soft, still brought blood to her cheeks, the dreams that followed not something she was ready to acknowledge , even to herself.
She wouldn’t think about him now, she decided as she finally managed to put on her p a j amas , her hands shaking so hard it took three attempts to button up the short-sleeved top. She couldn’t . All the wild hopes and even more insane plans she had spun last night after their conversation had to be buried, her life shifted to a totally new dimension.
Still, he followed her into the fitful half - sleep that finally caught up
‘H ow about tomorrow night then?’ H e wasn’t wasting any time, was he? Or was he testing how far he could go before her fighting spirit finally kicked in?
‘I’m not sure…’ S he let her voice trail off indecisively, imagining her state of mind after the visit with the doctor. Maybe she would be too miserable to see anyone, let alone ready to play a verbal match with a man who considered her barely more than a slut.
‘Tell you what, we can play it by ear . I’ll call you and we can figure something out.’
If she hadn’t known any better, she’d have thought he was concerned about her, Kate thought sarcastically , instantly dismissing the outlandish idea. All he was concerned about was her playing along and making it easy for him ; any hopes he might actually care for her feelings were absurd.
So , they had parted like that, his steps hesitant as he walked back to his car. He turned back to say something, she noticed from the corner of her eye as she was already fishing for her key, eager to escape to the sanctuary of her four walls. Whatever it was, he must have decided against it, because he shrugged and walked on, her sense of relief tinged with only the tiniest tweak of regret she wouldn’t know what it was.
The night hours dragged mercilessly, doing little to calm her already strained nerves. She tried to go to sleep, naively hoping it would make the night pass faster. Taking a shower proved more difficult than she would have ever expected, her hands and eyes carefully avoiding the little scar, already barely visible under the smooth tanned skin of her torso. Was it possible something really lurked inside of her? Something dangerous and unpredictable, akin to a strange animal ready to attack her when she expected it least? She didn’t feel any different, she thought wretchedly, as she blotted the moisture off her skin with one of the beautiful Egyptian cotton towels she had purchased upon her return home. Their delicate, robin ’s- egg blue color had proved irresistible as she gave into the excitement of organizing her home again. It was so much fun to plan for her future, she thought now, her teeth chattering uncontrollably as hysteria finally took over. She had walls she wanted to repaint, faux panels she planned to install, plants waiting to be transplanted… she had a whole life to be lived, brilliant and beautiful, her two - year exile Down Under over.
And then there was Justin , stepping back into her life with an ease that made it almost impossible to dismiss the fact that fate was something not to be kidding with . She had thought about him often enough, wondering and dreading the idea of ever seeing him again. And yet, deep down, after all the layers of self denial and pretense were stripped, she had to admit that meeting him again was something she wouldn’t have given up for anything. He hated her, of course. How could he not? Maybe she was a masochistic person after all . Still, the memory of his eyes watching her warmly in the semidarkness of the pub two years before was something that lingered in the deepest core of her heart, no matter how hard she tried to forget it. The touch of his lips, demanding and yet soft, still brought blood to her cheeks, the dreams that followed not something she was ready to acknowledge , even to herself.
She wouldn’t think about him now, she decided as she finally managed to put on her p a j amas , her hands shaking so hard it took three attempts to button up the short-sleeved top. She couldn’t . All the wild hopes and even more insane plans she had spun last night after their conversation had to be buried, her life shifted to a totally new dimension.
Still, he followed her into the fitful half - sleep that finally caught up
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