intimate hug I’ve ever received from
him or anyone else for that matter. We aren’t normally touchy feely friends,
but I let him support my weight as I breathe in his scent. Smoke and deodorant.
I’ll never forget that smell.
Violet lines her
eyes with a heavy black shadow and
puckers her lips at the mirror. It’s sort of her signature style. Makeup and a
loud mouth. She digs through my cosmetic bag and pulls out some purple
lipstick.
“Have you spoken to
your dad lately?” she asks.
I’m getting dressed
behind her, so I can’t pretend not to have heard. I pull up my dress. “Not
since he walked out, but he keeps sending me gifts.” I hold out my wrist to
show off a diamond bracelet. “How about you?”
“I see my dad behind a
barbwire fence once a week,” she says, not at all embarrassed about the
situation. He’s not getting out anytime soon, and Violet has accepted it. Her
reasoning is, if he really cared about her and her brother, he wouldn’t have
done anything to get put in jail over in the first place.
“At least you get
that,” I mumble.
“God, you’re so whiny.
Your dad isn’t in jail. You can go see him whenever you want. You just need to
quit your bellyaching and visit.”
I don’t say anything,
but continue to fix the belt around my waist. She doesn’t understand the
relationship between my parents and me. She assumes they’re easier to forgive.
We’re on our way out to
some sort of party Harrison has invited us to. The same guy she’s been hooking
up with over the past few weeks. She almost never pulls a double so this is an
interesting thing.
“What eyeshadow should
I wear?” She turns and holds out two pallets. Blue and green.
“Blue would look better
with your eyes.” I don’t even know if it will look better. It doesn’t matter,
she always looks great.
“Thanks, I’ll go with
the green then.” She sticks her tongue out at me.
I turn the music up
louder. There’s no one here to make me turn it down. Nothing could wake my
mother from her self-induced, self-medicated sleep.
Violet looks at her
cell phone and then at me. “I forgot. Mischa called while you were in the
shower. He wants you to call him.”
My heart begins racing,
my palms get clammy. I don’t answer for a second, trying not to seem
overexcited. “Really? Why?”
“I dunno. He probably
wants something.”
“Oh?”
“I’m gonna ask this one
last time. What’s going on with you guys?”
I shrug and sit down on
the bed as she finishes her makeup. “We’re just friends.”
“I get the feeling
you’re both lying to me. Something happened.”
“Nothing happened. I’ve
hardly spoken to him over the past few weeks.”
She shrugs. “He’s had
his hands tied up anyway.”
“What do you mean?”
“Don’t tell anyone I
told you…but he’s kind of taken over Dad’s clients.”
“He’s dealing drugs?” I
whisper before covering my mouth.
She lowers her eyes
before continuing. “You’d think they’d stay away from us, the police watch the
house like crazy, but they all need a fix. As long as I get my wake n bake. I
don’t care what Mischa does.”
Idiot. Stupid,
annoying, but beautiful idiot.
I pull up my phone and
dial Mischa’s house number. He needs a cell phone. It would be a lot easier to
get ahold of him.
“Cody?”
“Hey.” I’m not sure
what else to say. I can’t just blurt out, why didn’t you call? Why are you
selling drugs? I settle on “How have you been?”
“Fine.” I want to ask
where the hell he’s been, but I’m too afraid of the answer. I don’t want to seem
too needy.
“Cody, I have a big
favor, and I understand if you say no but this is a matter of life and death.”
Now I’m worried. “Sure,
is everything okay?”
“No, I mean yes. Could
you… get some more of your mom’s pills for me?”
I choke on something
imaginary, trying to catch my bearings. Did he really just ask me to be his
supplier? “Um…I don’t know.
him or anyone else for that matter. We aren’t normally touchy feely friends,
but I let him support my weight as I breathe in his scent. Smoke and deodorant.
I’ll never forget that smell.
Violet lines her
eyes with a heavy black shadow and
puckers her lips at the mirror. It’s sort of her signature style. Makeup and a
loud mouth. She digs through my cosmetic bag and pulls out some purple
lipstick.
“Have you spoken to
your dad lately?” she asks.
I’m getting dressed
behind her, so I can’t pretend not to have heard. I pull up my dress. “Not
since he walked out, but he keeps sending me gifts.” I hold out my wrist to
show off a diamond bracelet. “How about you?”
“I see my dad behind a
barbwire fence once a week,” she says, not at all embarrassed about the
situation. He’s not getting out anytime soon, and Violet has accepted it. Her
reasoning is, if he really cared about her and her brother, he wouldn’t have
done anything to get put in jail over in the first place.
“At least you get
that,” I mumble.
“God, you’re so whiny.
Your dad isn’t in jail. You can go see him whenever you want. You just need to
quit your bellyaching and visit.”
I don’t say anything,
but continue to fix the belt around my waist. She doesn’t understand the
relationship between my parents and me. She assumes they’re easier to forgive.
We’re on our way out to
some sort of party Harrison has invited us to. The same guy she’s been hooking
up with over the past few weeks. She almost never pulls a double so this is an
interesting thing.
“What eyeshadow should
I wear?” She turns and holds out two pallets. Blue and green.
“Blue would look better
with your eyes.” I don’t even know if it will look better. It doesn’t matter,
she always looks great.
“Thanks, I’ll go with
the green then.” She sticks her tongue out at me.
I turn the music up
louder. There’s no one here to make me turn it down. Nothing could wake my
mother from her self-induced, self-medicated sleep.
Violet looks at her
cell phone and then at me. “I forgot. Mischa called while you were in the
shower. He wants you to call him.”
My heart begins racing,
my palms get clammy. I don’t answer for a second, trying not to seem
overexcited. “Really? Why?”
“I dunno. He probably
wants something.”
“Oh?”
“I’m gonna ask this one
last time. What’s going on with you guys?”
I shrug and sit down on
the bed as she finishes her makeup. “We’re just friends.”
“I get the feeling
you’re both lying to me. Something happened.”
“Nothing happened. I’ve
hardly spoken to him over the past few weeks.”
She shrugs. “He’s had
his hands tied up anyway.”
“What do you mean?”
“Don’t tell anyone I
told you…but he’s kind of taken over Dad’s clients.”
“He’s dealing drugs?” I
whisper before covering my mouth.
She lowers her eyes
before continuing. “You’d think they’d stay away from us, the police watch the
house like crazy, but they all need a fix. As long as I get my wake n bake. I
don’t care what Mischa does.”
Idiot. Stupid,
annoying, but beautiful idiot.
I pull up my phone and
dial Mischa’s house number. He needs a cell phone. It would be a lot easier to
get ahold of him.
“Cody?”
“Hey.” I’m not sure
what else to say. I can’t just blurt out, why didn’t you call? Why are you
selling drugs? I settle on “How have you been?”
“Fine.” I want to ask
where the hell he’s been, but I’m too afraid of the answer. I don’t want to seem
too needy.
“Cody, I have a big
favor, and I understand if you say no but this is a matter of life and death.”
Now I’m worried. “Sure,
is everything okay?”
“No, I mean yes. Could
you… get some more of your mom’s pills for me?”
I choke on something
imaginary, trying to catch my bearings. Did he really just ask me to be his
supplier? “Um…I don’t know.
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